Masters and New Baby - Madness?

missmolly3

Hi All,

am I mad? I am due my first baby in July but have also been offered a place on a masters programme that would be starting in September.

We have to decide if I'm accepting the place in the next couple of weeks so the deep-thought caps are on.

In an ideal world junior would be due to arrive a bit earlier or the course would be due to start a bit later so that we have more time to adjust to the big change. Is it utterly crazy to even consider taking on a masters with a 6 wk old? The absolute priority is junior and what is best for him/her but has anyone successfully (or unsucessfully!) navigated a similar situation?

There are no exams with this particular masters but quite a lot of essay/course work, as well as the final dissertation.

Any and all thoughts/advice welcome.

ThisRegard

Personally, yes, I think you're mad. You won't be able to do yourself justice in the masters, you'll be sleep deprived, knackered and just couldn't be arsed to spend any free time you have working. And I'm saying that as a dad, never mind a mother.

The first few months of a babies life is very busy for its parents, they're very demanding little things. I don't know your family situation but any spare time you do get you'll be wanting to just take a break and do nothing, maybe grab a nap, or just get some tidying and cleaning done. You don't want to be almost resenting the kid either when they inevitably ruin any plans you had for doing a bit of work. Enjoy the time with the baby rather than worry about getting stuff done for your masters I would say.

I contemplated doing similar but with first one kid, and then another, I figured it was just too much work. I've done one of my degrees at night and bunched two years of lectures and work up into 1 in order to get it done quicker, so I had that experience to go by when deciding if I should go ahead or not.

missmolly3

Thanks ThisRegard - appreciate the honest feedback.

The crux of the dilemma is that junior will be so young - I am planning on breastfeeding as well and know from my sister-in-law's experience that this could result in a lot of cluster feeding at the start which leaves barely time for a trip to the loo never mind hopping in and out of college for a couple of hours at a time. All going well I would be able to pump enough to leave a bottle for his/her Dad and the timetable should mean that i wouldn't be away for more than 2 hours at a go. But I also don't want to lose that precious bonding time at the early stage when he/she is so young.


In relation to the study, I did my undergrad degree over 4 years in the evening whilst working fulltime with a 60km roundtrip each day so I do have something to refer to when imagining the additional commitments. The major unknown is how I will take to being a mammy and what our new world will be like when junior arrives.

I suppose part of me is wondering about the "ideal" scenario - the one where junior arrives, is healthy and happy and settles quickly into a routine of lengthy naps and straightforward feeds. Could I maybe look back over the time and think "I could have managed both".

Anyone with a crystal ball out there?! :-)

izzyflusky

I would defer the place for another year. I started my masters when my son was just over a year old while working full time and let me tell it is HARD!! I' about yo finish year one and I'm just counting the weeks, and kind of dreading year two. On top of that you might feel a little guilty for leaving your baby. I know I do...I feel like I'm not spending enough time with him, so I can't even imagine if he was that small.

Don't put yourself through so much pressure. My advice is to wait another year at least.

missmolly3

Hi Izzy - thanks a mill for taking the time to reply and your message. I have spoken to the college directly and have been able to get the best of all worlds - accept my spot and wait and see in September if it's in any way a goer. If it's not I can then defer until the following September which is great. I didn't want to risk a spot for myself but equally didn't want to deprive anyone else. they assure me that it's fine though and there are many possible options.

the attraction of getting it going next year would be that while I'm on mat leave the only other draw on my time would be junior - I wouldn't have to juggle work in the mix as well. between paid and unpaid leave the academic year would be pretty much covered and only leave the dissertation over the summer.

fair dues to you at balancing it all and thanks again for the message!

idayang

i was in the same boat almost 4 years ago. in the last i didn't receive the PhD admission (the other reason was the fee-too too expensive,more than 10k/year).

In my experience i did the right decision as we did't have any helpers around and my baby was very high demanding. it's a mission impossible for me to get a first honor while taking good care of her.

But i have a brave friend, she gave birth to a baby last June then went to university in september. It's very hard for her-they didn't have any helpers as well. She changed her application from a full-time programme to a part-time programme. Her husband returns home everyday early in the afternoon and take care their baby. They both tried their best.

Best of luck,missmolly3 ,hope you can find a way ;-)