Anyone like me?!

Ruby31

I'm so nervous about my hen and wedding. I just don't enjoy being the centre of attention at all. Am I alone in feeling like this? All my friends were in their element at their hen and wedding. Our wedding is immediate family only, but I'm getting so anxious. I hate feeling this way😩

spottybananas

Yeah I was like this, which is why I didn't have a hen. It's fine at the wedding, you have two of you, and bridal party as shields for most of it If it's immediate family only you'll be grand.

MsBubbles

Hi Ruby,
You are not alone, My Husband is exactly the same. He didn't have a stag do and we had a very small wedding 35 for the ceremony and 55 for the reception. Do what you feel comfortable with. I know it's difficult to ignore well meaning family and friends but if you're not going to enjoy something don't do it.

Like spottybananas says it you will be beside your new husband

ZiabR

You are not alone at all. You are lucky though that it is only your immediate family. Myself and my partner are getting married this year and we hate being the centre of attention. The thoughts of having to stand up and make a speech gives me shivers...

Ruby31

It really is so hard not to give into pressure from friends and family.

We're not having speeches at our wedding thankfully. I know it wouldn't be me making the speech, but I'd die even having to sit there with all eyes on me as my new husband made a speech about me!

lazygal

I didn't have a hen party either. I don't regret it at all, and I don't really like them. If I had my time over I wouldn't have had any speeches. We didn't have a massive wedding so we got to speak to everyone. The lads were all nervous about having to speak and I felt they dragged on a bit, even though we limited the time for each speaker. Don't feel you have to have something if you want to skip it.

spottybananas

We had 180 people at our wedding, but that actually was mostly just our very close family and friends, we have big families. The speeches were fine, I can't say I felt anyone was looking at me at all, they were looking at those speaking. And the groom's speech isn't really entirely about the bride.

Honestly you'll be fine on the day, it's not so much like everyone's staring at you and focusing all attention on you, it's more of a party to celebrate WITH both of you, rather than being these outsiders just staring at you. We also spoke to everyone at our wedding, it was a great day/night

I didn't have a hen though because I would've had to invite some of his family, and I really would have been the centre of attention at that, and uncomfortable. Same reason I've just turned down their offers of a baby shower, sounds like hell!

nc19

i dont enjoy being the centre of attention either buti didnt expect to have to hold on to my chair when i got up to do my speech(groom) because my legs went to jelly

have a few drinks!

Esterhase

I'm the same. I don't want a hen and barely want a wedding party with the extended families. I hate being the centre of attention, hate public speaking (so glad the bride isn't usually expected to say anything), and hate having my photo taken. I'm not a dancer either and dread the idea of having to do a first dance in front of everyone. All I want to do is sign the bloody page and be done with it! :pac:

I'm sure you'll be absolutely fine when the day comes. You'll be much too busy to be anxious!

littlenubbin85

Nope, you're not alone. I hate being the centre of attention and it's making me really stress out about the wedding. The thought of walking down the aisle makes my legs shake!! I don't really want a hen either but my future sister in law is planning it with or without my say so!

CBFi

We're the same. Not ones for being the centre of attention and I hate public speaking so definitely wont be making a speech. My fiancé will make one but I really hope they're all short. My dread is that someone will tell 'funny' stories and draw attention to me/us - I go red really easily.

I also hate getting my photo taken. We're doing a group first dance so the pressure isn't on us - all the bridal party will be suffering with us!

I'm having a hen but I'm only inviting close friends and family as I don't feel comfortable in large groups if I don't know everyone well. Although with a few drinks in me, I tend to be grand but I don't drink regularly.

Princess Peach

I'm the same. Engaged almost a year and no set plans in place, not feeling very bridal at all! I do want to be married but don't want any fuss. Probably will do something small, no speeches and doubt I'll have a hen.

Stressed about what to wear though! I don't think I'd feel myself in a wedding gown.

Esterhase

Princess Peach wrote: »

Stressed about what to wear though! I don't think I'd feel myself in a wedding gown.

I'm definitely not going down the white gown route either. I've never been to a wedding where the bride had a 'normal' dress, but I don't think it's considered an entirely mad thing to do these days. I'll probably be the most casual looking person at my own wedding!

eviltwin

I was the same. I didn't have a hens and we kept the wedding family only. I wouldn't have enjoyed being the centre of attention. Keeping it small meant it was relaxed and I was able to enjoy it more.

pug_

I didn't have a stag because I just couldn't handle the idea of it. The wedding took me months to build up to mentally. I just kept telling myself it was only one day, and reminded myself that it was important to my future wife so I should try and do whatever I could to make her day.

On the day I kept reminding myself of those things when I felt stressed and in the end it went well and I actually enjoyed myself a lot of the time. I wouldn't do it again though.

Buona Fortuna

I think a lot of people are in that boat.

I didn't really have a stag. We lived in the UK, but married here. Just popped up to the local bar in the village the night before.

Great evening, bumping into people I hadn't seen for years.

If you don't want one, give it a miss, or make it something really casual.

Best of luck OP, you'll be grand