Honeymoon gift list

afatbollix

Hi

Thinking about doing a honeymoon gift list, Instead of a list of items we need we use one of them websites to create a honeymoon gift list.

Would be stuff like a meal on night one going to the zoo or a museum on day two ect.

I like the idea as its not stuff like toasters that would be bought as we have been living together for years!

Just looking for views on the wider public.

Did anyone do this and what website did you use?

ElleEm

It just seems like another way of asking for money, which is considered bad taste.

And noone buys toasters anymore! Anyone attending your wedding should be aware that you are living together and don't need household items.

lazygal

This is not a good idea. Pay for your own post wedding holiday.

afatbollix

So is all gift lists out?

saggycaggy

People really don't give toasters as presents anymore do they??
I'd say that was back in the day when couples only moved in with each other after the got married.

Gift lists don't go down well-people give what they can afford/want to give and don't like being told what to give as a gift.

Tiddlypeeps

Most people give cash regardless. Why run the risk of potentially offending a bunch of your guests?

sillysocks

I think it's no harm to have a list like this but I wouldn't include it on the invites. When we got married my mum was being pestered by friends/family as to what we wanted (anyone who didn't ask generally gave cash), so we did set up a list in Arnotts, she was then able to tell people if they did want to buy an actual present that we had a list - we had things listed from 10eur up to maybe 200 eur so for every range. We didnt' include details with invites, or 'formally' tell anyone about the list or request they buy things from it. It was only if people asked.

I think if you did the same with a honeymoon list it would be ok. Just use word of mouth and if no-one uses it you don't lose anything. People who don't ask generally would give cash - or wouldn't be swayed by a list anyway. I actually think if I was going to a wedding it'd be kind of fun to see a list of things we could get for them to do on honeymoon and would be a nice alternative to cash.

Can you not just put aside some of the money that you will inevitably receive for your wedding and put it aside to pay for these dinners / days out that you will experience on your honeymoon?

When people generally give a cash gift to a couple getting married they like to think it helps towards the cost of the wedding. I know people that haven't been able to afford a holiday in years, some not even a night away, but they will go to weddings when invited and give a cash gift to the couple. I guess what I'm trying to say is a lot of people might not want to know where they're money is going.

solerina

No, people don't give toasters but they do give lamps (far too many lamps, we got 8) casserole dishes (le creuseut type, we got 3) wine glasses (god only knows how many we got), cups & saucer/plates sets, and cutlery sets...all of which we didn't need and have stored away in the attic !!!

So although a lot of people will be annoyed that your so obviously asking for cash...its definitely better than getting useless gifts.

We got some amazing unique gifts that I love....and that were obviously thoughtfully chosen so you will miss out on getting these too...but you cant have it all !!

Rackstar

No to the lists!!!

Are you getting married so you can go on a nice holiday after and get your guests to pay for nice things for you to do on your holiday?

I hope you're getting married because you love your partner and want to spend the rest of your life with them.

afatbollix

So you can't ask for cash but everyone expects it as the only present to give?

We have saved for our wedding so not as much as issue about paying for it with gifts just thought the offer of covering items we would like to do on a honeymoon was a good idea. Maybe not.

blackbird 49

Most people if not all give cash nowadays, whatever money you get as a present put it to one side and just use it for your honeymoon list of things you want to do.

Easypeasey

I really like the idea of this but as with the most popular threads in this forum, I think number one lesson: Don't put anything about cash/gifts etc in writing on invitations. Someone will take it the wrong way and will probably post here for discussion..!!!

You could create a honeymoon list and if people do ask you could casually say oh maybe if you wish you could book us X, Y or Z on our honeymoon. Anyone who went to the effort of asking would be delighted to get a response and feel like you were enjoying something on your honeymooon thanks to them.

Milly33

Id say stick with asking just close family and friends for things like that

littlenubbin85

Not a fan of gift lists to be honest, sorry. It's bad form to dictate to your guests what they can and can't give you. Let people give you what they can afford and if they end up giving you cash, you can use that for your honeymoon expenditure.

Triceratops Ballet

I think do the list, but don't put it on the invite and let it be a word of mouth thing.
I think the honeymoon list is a lovely idea, I was bridesmaid for my bestfriend of 25 years earlier in the year and I hated the idea of giving her cash as its so impersonal so I got them a red letter days voucher for hot air ballooning on their honeymoon, its something they would never have booked to to themselves, but they loved it and its a once in a lifetime thing, I'm glad the money I spent on their gift went on something memorable for them rather than just paying off another bill.

Esterhase

Make a list if you like but keep it off the invitations, as many (myself included) find it rude to bring up the gift issue yourselves, and at such an early stage. Only share it with people who ask what you'd like to receive.

polydactyl

sillysocks wrote: »

When we got married my mum was being pestered by friends/family as to what we wanted (anyone who didn't ask generally gave cash), so we did set up a list in Arnotts, she was then able to tell people if they did want to buy an actual present that we had a list - we had things listed from 10eur up to maybe 200 eur so for every range. We didnt' include details with invites, or 'formally' tell anyone about the list or request they buy things from it. It was only if people asked.

Snap! The exact same as our situation. Didn't mention it to anyone unless they specifically asked and they could have spent a tenner if they wanted. No gift was more than 50 euro.

Just have it but only mention it if asked

Gatica

And again there's a dozen posts not answering the OPs question....

We contributed to a honeymoon gift list like that before. It was a nice idea and rather than just giving cash, I liked being able to say we paid for a stay in a beautiful suite in Dubai. It feels like a more tangible gift than just money.
It's a great idea for a "gift registry". There were other cool things like safari, limo airport transfer, etc... I don't remember what site it was with. However, I'm pretty sure you have to book your holiday with the same provider. Try trailfinders. I'd say they do it.

A quick google gives these http://www.trailfinders.ie/giftlist and http://www.myhoneymoon.ie/index.cfm/page/howitworks

Rubberchikken

as someone who hates buying gifts with a vengence, mostly because i can never think of what to get, i love to be told that there's a gift list of some sort that will get me out of having to traipse around shops/internet and end up picking something stupid.

tell people what you would like. some will contribute, some won't. you can't let what people think is 'right' bother you in this instance.

lazygal

Gatica wrote: »

And again there's a dozen posts not answering the OPs question....

We contributed to a honeymoon gift list like that before. It was a nice idea and rather than just giving cash, I liked being able to say we paid for a stay in a beautiful suite in Dubai. It feels like a more tangible gift than just money.
It's a great idea for a "gift registry". There were other cool things like safari, limo airport transfer, etc... I don't remember what site it was with. However, I'm pretty sure you have to book your holiday with the same provider. Try trailfinders. I'd say they do it.

A quick google gives these http://www.trailfinders.ie/giftlist and http://www.myhoneymoon.ie/index.cfm/page/howitworks

Those things are a bit of a swizz. For a start, the company takes a cut, so your money doesn't match your 'gift'. And from what I understand, you're not actually buying a spa treatment or water rafting experience, but some sort of voucher system the couple then use on whatever they want. I'd give a couple cash rather than give them a gift through a honeymoon registry. I'd usually give cash anyway, but those kind of gifting companies make me wonder when gift giving became a for-profit business.

skallywag

sillysocks wrote: »

...we did set up a list in Arnotts, she was then able to tell people if they did want to buy an actual present that we had a list...

This is the best way to handle the wedding_gift_question without a doubt.