Made to feel guilty for taking sick days

LegacyUser

I'm looking for some advice on how to deal with a colleague. I am relatively new to the professional office environment and am not really sure what I'm supposed to do in this situation.

I was off sick for a few days last week. I had been sick for a week previous, and am still sick as its a viral thing that takes a few weeks to run its course. I took a half day following a conversation with my manager (instigated by my manger, not me) about how long I had been sick and how I obviously needed a bit of time to recuperate, then called in sick for two days (on a GP cert).

I went back to work after this, despite my manager telling me to take the extra time if I needed it, as I am new to the job and don't want to take sick days unless I absolutely have to.

The problem came when I went back. In general conversation with my colleague (who is senior to me as she has been in the job years) she mentioned about six times how up the walls she had been while I was gone, and how she had been so stressed out. She talked about how she hadn't managed to cover any of my work as she had been so busy (I wouldn't have expected her to, but she felt the need to explain this) and even had a conversation about how she couldn't open my post because she had been so busy. She is pregnant, and then after all these conversations managed to mention how she had been at the doctor with complications the evening of my last day off (she didn't quite go as far as to say it was stress related but almost...).

I'm still sick but will be in work next week, and now feel that she was not so subtly telling me that I shouldn't have taken the days, despite my manager telling me it was fine and not to worry about it. I feel like she was almost blaming me for her own health issues as she was so busy, and that she was very judgemental about my sick days. I do feel bad for taking the time as I know she's under pressure, I know she has a lot going on outside of work and we are extremely busy at the moment, but I couldn't have been in work, and my manager was fine with it. I feel like its not really her place to judge after that.

I am a bit annoyed about the whole thing though as I've been left on my own a lot while she was off sick and have not said a word, and I know it affected how I dealt with her on Friday and I'm still annoyed about it today. I just thought it was totally unnecessary on her part to spend so long talking about how busy and stressed she was, and then jump straight to her own health issues. She knew I was genuinely sick and not just on the doss. I don't want to make an issue of it as I'm not great at dealing with this sort of thing, but I am really upset by the way she went on about it. I hate calling in sick, and feel incredibly guilty all by myself, so don't need this sort of thing when I come back in!

I'm still exhausted and know I'm a bit oversensitive as a result, but should I say something to her about how it all made me feel? or should I just swallow it, and accept that it happened and that I cant change it? Or am I just being ridiculously over sensitive and imagining the issue due to how much I hate the fact that I had to take time off?

_Brian

Just go back to work and don't get into conversation about it.. You were sick, your back now, put your head down and work away..

Some people can be insensitive without even realising it... or she could just be an idiot, either way the best action is move on and do your job..

galah

What strikes me is that she's blaming you and your absence for making her busy, but then says she couldn't cover your work?

Maybe I'm missing something but that doesnt make sense to me. Either she's busy because of your extra work load, or she's not managing her own, which has nothing to do with you.

Either way - you were sick, you have a cert, your manager was ok with your being off; that's all that matters. Don't worry about her and get on with it.

It could also be pregnancy hormones making her crabby and irritable, ready to freak out at the slightest issue (i know i was like that in certain stages of my pregnancies...:o)

December2012

I don't see that as her trying to guilt you at all. I actually see it as her talking about being so busy in work IN GENERAL. "Oh it was so busy, I didn't get to my own work let alone yours and In fact I had to go to the Dr myself" is different to "you should not gave taken time off"

I think she may be covering her own ass and is not getting involved in your work absence at all.

I think you're being over sensitive and it's nothing to do with you.