Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

QwertyCookie

Sorry if this turns into a bit of an essay I'm having a bit of a dilemma, it's about Erasmus:

I'm trying to decide whether to go study abroad for 9 months in Canada or not. I'm pretty sure I have the means to afford it, and I want to go because I think it could be good for me. Maybe learn to be more outgoing and to test myself to see if I can live a life on my own (I'm going alone by the way, no friends accompanying me).

However I'm worried. I have depression...although it hasnt been so bad in the past year. I'm really scared of it flaring up again if I go away for that long. I'm leaving a boyfriend I love so much behind, and some good friends. I dont always make friends easily too which concerns me, more because I'm a girl not into typical stuff girls chat about. So I'm very worried about getting feelings of isolation which normally leads to depression. Oh I also have a mild case of SAD by the way, I'm on a programme working on that though.

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity that all my friends are telling me to go for, but what if it goes terribly for me? I may regret not going. Should I take a chance or play it safe? Should I stay or should I go?

Thank you for whoever reads this

Dee01

Hi op, if it was my decision to make I would go for it. It's only 9 months and Your friends and boyfriend will be here when you return. Could any of them visit you for a week or two to break up the time?

Regarding making friends over there, I would imagine you will be with a group of other Erasmus students, so that will be a massive ice breaker for you. You will all have something in common to get you started.

As long as your depression is under control and you know the signs to look out for, I don't see this as being a deal breaker. Likewise with the SAD.

Worst case scenario, you can always come home early. Nothing ventured and all that. Best of luck.

porsche boy

never regret the opportunities you take, just the ones you pass up. If you try and it dosent feel right and come home, you havent failed or let yourself down. remember that.

QwertyCookie

Unfortunately my boyfriend/friends wont be able to afford flights to visit As for leaving early, the head of department in my college made extremely clear how he would be furious if any of us came back early. So I'm kind of scared of coming home early

tomwaterford

QwertyCookie wrote: »

Unfortunately my boyfriend/friends wont be able to afford flights to visit As for leaving early, the head of department in my college made extremely clear how he would be furious if any of us came back early. So I'm kind of scared of coming home early

Look it... Don't worry about the head of your collage....you'll be gone from collage in no length either way

Though would it affect your studies if you were to come home early???

Littlekittylou

I think it's nine months. It's not forever. I understand it's something you need to think about. But I think don't let your fears hold you back.

Go for it if it's what you want.

seenitall

QwertyCookie wrote: »

I'm trying to decide whether to go study abroad for 9 months in Canada or not. I'm pretty sure I have the means to afford it, and I want to go because I think it could be good for me. Maybe learn to be more outgoing and to test myself to see if I can live a life on my own (I'm going alone by the way, no friends accompanying me).

Hi OP,

you are going to Canada, and you're going to have a fab time.

They say that the moment we become aware of a dilemma, is the moment our subconscious chooses the path we will take. Sometimes it takes a bit of time for our fretting consciousness to catch up with the decision. It's the fear of the unknown.

In spite of all the "What if"s and "Should I"s of your post, the way you write suggests to me that your decision is already made. Your heart is saying "I'm going" while your brain is saying "eh hold on a minute here. This is kinda scary."

But the heart is sometimes wiser than the brain and it knows that our youth is the best time to expand our horizons, push our boundaries, challenge our ideas, test ourselves and all our relationships, in short to learn and to explore. More, and more, and more.

Go and test yourself, OP, and what an adventure for you!

Ah, to be young again...

QwertyCookie

Thank you everyone for all your responses, from the bottom of my heart it means alot you even took time to read it I emailed my head of department a provisional yes to studying abroad. I'm going to speak to a councilor in the mean time to see how they'd assess my mental state, I want to go really badly but if I end up reverting back to how I was, it could be dangerous. Thank you again

ivytwine

Just to say I was quite like you when it came to my turn at Erasmus, suffered anxiety, all the rest of it... I went even further than Canada. It was very tough at times, I won't lie, but it was the greatest single experience I had in my personal development. I matured and grew so much. I don't regret it at all, best thing I ever did.

My friend was away from her boyf as well, and while she was a lot nearer to him geographically, they didn't really see each other. Six years on they're still together- strong relationships survive these things.

Finally in the country I went to, I made friends with other Erasmus students. Generally speaking you will find the other international students a really friendly bunch- ye're all in the same boat.

Go for it OP, I promise you won't regret it! x