Help for new parents

justback83

Hi all,

My best friends have just had their first baby girl!
I want to visit them soon but want to bring things they will need. I was thinking of cooking them something they can put in the fridge and throw in the microwave (lasagne?!)

I'd love to have a list of what brand new parents really need...I was thinking of making them a hamper

Thanks!

emer_b

Nice idea. Food is always appreciated.
I made a hamper for a first time mum friend of mine and put in lots of stuff which I would have appreciated myself (unfortunately I didn't get too much handy practical presents myself for my first baby!)
I included stuff like a multipack of vests, Vaseline, sudocreme, a teething toy, wipes, chocs for mum etc. They have some nice decorative card boxes in places like Dunnes which can then be useful for storing a changing kit for the baby.

kandr10

That's a lovely idea! I can't think of anything else parents would need as such. Pre prepared meals and maybe some snacks cod it can be hard to eat food in a normal way for the first while. The likes of flapjacks, nuts, popcorn etc so they have something quick and easy to grab if peckish could be handy. I'm not sure if you intend the gifts to be for the baby too or just the parents but there have been threads on what would be useful for a baby and opinions seem to widely differ. I'll try find it and stick the link in. For what it's worth, I think all the ideas emer gave would be top of my list too the likes of vests and babygrows are things you don't get much as gifts so Id get those in a few sizes.

galljga1

Food is always good, freezable. I tend not to buy things they would need in the first year as they will probably be overloaded with 'newborn' presents and probably have got quite a lot themselves, unless they ask you. Something for 1+ is more practical. Just my opinion.

effibear

Freezable meals! A friend of ours brought over food that did us a week, So amazing meant we ate well the first few days which really helps. Also if visiting don't stay long, and make your own tea! I have apologised to friends since I've had my own about visiting them when their babies were young and how long I stayed- it's lovely to see people but exhausting to string conversation together for for anything more than 20mins!

seventeen sheep

Any kind of food is great! Whether homemade or ready-meals. (Bear in mind that if the mother is breastfeeding, you might be best to avoid spicy foods, as some babies react badly to them.)

If you're getting any clothes, just make sure to include gift receipts. Vests and babygros are great, but look out for short-sleeve vests rather than long-sleeved ones, and look out for babygros that button up the front rather than ones that need to go over the head - especially if you're buying in smaller sizes (e.g. anything under six months.) Boots have lovely multipacks that are often on offer for 3 for 2. Oh and also look out for babygros that have built-in scratch mitts. Maybe a packet of bibs too ... just try to get ones that would be suitable for an older baby as well as a newborn, as not all babies need bibs in the first few months, but most will need them at least occasionally when they start drooling and eating solids etc.

A nice idea might be a voucher for a hairdressers, along with a promise to babysit whenever she decides to use it! Also, if she's breastfeeding and plans to continue to do so for a while, a nice nursing top would be a good idea.

I would avoid any nappies, wipes, creams, baby toiletries etc as parents differ so much with their preferences for these things. Might be no harm to throw in a bottle of Calpol or Neurofen though - they might really appreciate it some time if the child ever gets a late night high temperature!

If you're getting any toys or books, I'd advise ones suitable for an older baby/toddler. I just don't think most babies are all that interested in toys aimed at being used in the first six months or so, and they just end up creating more clutter around the place.

bp

Food that can be eaten with one hand/ snacked on - I loved fresh fruit as it was sweet but tastey! Toys and books are nice - people rarely give them - I liked the 'thats not my...' Series. And chocolate for mammy :-)

Next clothes are great to get as the quality is great and they will let you exchange for other sizes/ clothes so easily and often without a gift receipt

seventeen sheep

Would agree re. the Next clothes. Never any trouble exchanging. And they are outside my budget really when I'm shopping, but they are fantastic quality and my favourite clothes when he was younger were all gifts from Next. They wash really well, and are also so cute!

mirrorwall14

We got a mountain of clothes for newborn and 0-6. I have more vests that he could possibly wear. Id definitely go for over 1 in clothes size and I second Next, great quality.

Be careful with creams and the like, it's supposed to be water only when they are very small. One that the nurses recommended when ours developed dry skin was silcox base, a big tub of it and it's fine for in the bath even when they are very young.

One handed food is excellent and dinners definitely appreciated.

No blankets! I have about 10 baby blankets and he doesn't need them, maybe 1/2! Also got a lot of wool blankets and cardigans and it turns out he is allergic.

One that hasn't been mentioned that I would have loved is books for baby. I was surprised no one got us any and it's something we definitely didn't have. Get your favourite childhood book and put it in with a note

Marz66

If you are a close friend, you could offer to do some housework 😊 Insist and ask what needs doing - dishwasher, bins, wash load of baby clothes, wash bottles...

You could also ask is there anything they need from the shops before you visit. Maybe there was something they forgot to buy and haven't had time to get to the shops yet. Or even the usual milk, bread etc

Bringing home cooked or ready meal is a lovely idea. A cake that they can serve visitors could be good too.

livinsane

For sure food is a great idea. I brought a chicken casserole to friends who had a baby a few months ago. They're still talking about it!

It sounds obvious but a bunch of flowers is nice - my mam was the only who who brought me some (apart from the ones my partner brought me in hospital) and they meant so much to me.

As for baby presents, I loved all the books we got. That's Not My Baby has fallen apart from usage. It's the best baby book I've seen yet. He is obsessed with it. We have a few more books from that range and I highly recommend them.

I wouldn't bother with any baby cosmetics (sounds wrong!) as they are quite a personal choice and dependent on the baby.

linkedin09

An unusual tip but I would suggest visiting them often to develop a rapports with the newborn. After a few weeks you can offer to babysit for a couple of hours whilst mom and dad go for a well earned meal out. They will be very grateful.. trust me!

Roesy

Books, cloth or board would be a good present. Or food is a nice idea too. Friends of ours bought us a bottle of champagne. It was months before we got to it but a nice idea all the same and very much enjoyed when we got to it!!!

To be honest, I wouldn't be comfortable with someone offering to clean for me while they were visiting. Don't get me wrong, my mother or mother in law washing a bottle or any guest bringing tea stuff out to the dishwasher is grand but putting out my bins or hoovering, nope. Just wouldn't be comfortable with it!!

cyning

linkedin09 wrote: »

An unusual tip but I would suggest visiting them often to develop a rapports with the newborn. After a few weeks you can offer to babysit for a couple of hours whilst mom and dad go for a well earned meal out. They will be very grateful.. trust me!

I would beyond hate this, so maybe check with mum/dad first.

A nice hand cream is a good idea because you wash your hands a lot with a newborn. And mothercare do lovely padded warm soft dresses for baby girls that are very easy to put on if you wanted an outfit... They are €15 so not expensive and she got loads of wear from it. I got maybe 2/3 outfits for under 6 months from people but we got loads for older babies! Everyone is different as this thread shows

linkedin09

cyning wrote: »

I would beyond hate this, so maybe check with mum/dad first.

A nice hand cream is a good idea because you wash your hands a lot with a newborn. And mothercare do lovely padded warm soft dresses for baby girls that are very easy to put on if you wanted an outfit... They are €15 so not expensive and she got loads of wear from it. I got maybe 2/3 outfits for under 6 months from people but we got loads for older babies! Everyone is different as this thread shows

I'm sorry that you would "beyond hate" this, I don't mean that just any old visitor should do this but the OP here is "best" friends with the couple.. A familiar face to a baby is very good for their development and most parents would welcome a couple of hours together after a tough few months..

Maybe you should try it. It's very important that the new mom and dad get to spend some alone time together - even just a couple of hours.

cyning

linkedin09 wrote: »

I'm sorry that you would "beyond hate" this, I don't mean that just any old visitor should do this but the OP here is "best" friends with the couple.. A familiar face to a baby is very good for their development and most parents would welcome a couple of hours together after a tough few months..

Maybe you should try it. It's very important that the new mom and dad get to spend some alone time together - even just a couple of hours.

You see I don't agree with you because I don't parent that way... That's why I said to ask mum or dad first. Because while it might suit some it won't suit others. That's not an attack on you. It means that help can be given where it's needed most. Like some would love friends to help clean others wouldn't. I don't leave my babies at all for the first few months. So I won't try it because it doesn't suit my family at all. And before I had my two I would never have thought I wouldn't want to leave them, even for a few hours in the first few months. That's why I said to ask first. That's all.

tinkerbell

linkedin09 wrote: »

An unusual tip but I would suggest visiting them often to develop a rapports with the newborn. After a few weeks you can offer to babysit for a couple of hours whilst mom and dad go for a well earned meal out. They will be very grateful.. trust me!

Ummm ... No. You need to check this with the couple first because I'd hazard a guess that many would hate that idea. Best friend or not, I would've hated it if my best friends were calling over all the time for the sole reason so that they could babysit my newborn. I don't need to be separated from my newborn and people visiting constantly would've done my head in. And the idea that they wanted me to go out so that they could babysit when my baby was so small would've pissed me off.

I don't understand this notion that all new parents urgently need a break and to go for a meal out. Maybe some do but I think it's silly to assume. I didn't need a break from my newborn and I most certainly had no interest in going for a meal out and leaving my baby. All I was interested in was getting something to eat when I had a spare minute and getting some rest. You spend 9 months growing this baby in your body and looking forward to meeting them that the last thing you want to do is just get a break from them! And for me personally, it pissed me off when people would call over and say "oh you must need a break". What a stupid thing to say. That's my opinion anyway - maybe others disagree.

I completely agree with cyning.

OP - I'd bring some food and keep visits short. Go to M&S for example and buy some ready meals, etc. Don't buy creams etc. - every parent has different preferences.

pwurple

Ah she was only suggesting building a relationship with the baby. I think that's very thoughtful myself. Plenty of people do feel isolated with a baby and a bit of company is very welcome to loads of new mothers. A couple of visits a month is a lovely suggestion. Don't think she said constantly.

ps, It's not a 'notion' to think that solitary confinement isn't for everyone. I'd have gone completely potty if I didn't visit my friends, or they didn't visit me when I had a newborn.

tinkerbell

pwurple wrote: »

Ah she was only suggesting building a relationship with the baby. I think that's very thoughtful myself. Plenty of people do feel isolated with a baby and a bit of company is very welcome to loads of new mothers. A couple of visits a month is a lovely suggestion. Don't think she said constantly.

ps, It's not a 'notion' to think that solitary confinement isn't for everyone. I'd have gone completely potty if I didn't visit my friends, or they didn't visit me when I had a newborn.

I didn't say anything about solitary confinement. It's good to see your family and friends and not hiding away from the general population! I just find it really odd that so many people say to new parents "oh you need to go out for a meal together". And it's not practical anyway if you're breastfeeding because of the evening cluster feeds. Going out for a meal was not one of my priorities in the early days, and given how exhausting it is at the start, I'd have fallen asleep in the restaurant!

I got the impression that it would be regular visits in order to build up a relationship with the baby. Besides, presumably there are other people in the couples' lives that also want to visit too. If the new parents invite you over, fine, but you always hear about constant streams of visitors in the early days which can be disruptive. But each to their own. What I would do instead is let the new parents invite you over. Some will love the constant visits every week, others might prefer less frequent ones, that's all.

pwurple

Is it the dinner bit you take issue with so? People gotta eat.

Sheesh, I'd take a sleep, or a shower or a teensy bit of time like that when I had a newborn in a flash if someone came over. You'd be wrecked and trying to recover at the start. Someone helpful (rather than a visitor who wants waiting on hand and foot with the biccies and the tea) is a godsend.

tinkerbell

pwurple wrote: »

Is it the dinner bit you take issue with so? People gotta eat.

Sheesh, I'd take a sleep, or a shower or a teensy bit of time like that when I had a newborn in a flash if someone came over. You'd be wrecked and trying to recover at the start. Someone helpful (rather than a visitor who wants waiting on hand and foot with the biccies and the tea) is a godsend.

Yeah it's the "go out for a meal" thing I have an issue with! It's much handier to order in a takeaway or whatever - going out to a restaurant wouldn't have been something I'd have wanted to do. I had about a hundred other things to do if I had a spare hour which were way higher up on the priority list, LOL!

As an aside, I can't stand people who visit a newborn and sit there expecting tea etc. Any visitors we had, if they wanted tea and biscuits they knew where the kettle / biscuit tin was! :pac:

Ginny

Tbh I'd hate people repeatedly visiting me, with a newborn especially if you're trying to establish breastfeeding you need a good bit of family time.
This time around I'm planning on spending the first few weeks between the bed and sofa while I get bfing established. Even if visitors say not to bother everyone worries what their house is like when visitors arrive. Whatever you do I'd check with the parents first and I'd keep visits short.
As for giving them time off as such, I only wanted my mum for that, she popped up a few times so we could have a nap, maybe for babysitting give it a few months, I didn't need anyone minding the baby at the start, maybe 6-8 months on I could have done with a night at the cinema though. People tend to offer early on but the offers fizzle out in a month or so.

Fagashlil

I found it brilliant having people over, especially after hubby went back to work. I'd a section and a slow recovery, so it was great when people came over, even just to have lunch (they brought) and a chat, and on many occasions it with baba while he napped and I took a shower. My mam got a set of keys and came in and cleaned the whole house when I was in hospital, bought new bed sheets so I came home to a cosy bed. And to this day her and/or my dad will still come over and if I need a sleep take baba for a walk/sleep with him downstairs so I can get a couple of hours deep sleep. But I wouldn't leave him at night with anyone but my man, have been out twice in the 20 weeks, and don't plan on leaving him again til JUNE when I'm away for the night, he's just too little.

I'd also avoid newborn vests/baby gros, these are the things we'd stocked up on. And also no to toiletries, we got loads, literally every product johnsonss make, and our son has such bad eczema can't use any of them.

Calpol/neurofen/infacol/gripe water was one of the best gifts we got.

And if she's breasfeeding, a few packs of bendy straws, especially for when baba is cluster feeding and your hands are in use!!