dont want boyfriend to take job

LegacyUser

i live in a different county to my boyfriend so we only get to see each other at weekends when i come to stay in a family members house... he works monday to friday so we have the weekend to ourselves the job his in is letting go of ten members of staff and they have a month or so to find new jobs.. his had five interviews and got a job but the job would be mostly weekend work days and nights this is the only time we get to see each other am i being selfish here but if he takes the job we have no way of seeing each other as i live over 3 hours away and he is not qualifed to work in an office job monday to friday so his going to take anything he can get..also i cannot move to the same county at the moment due to work commitments

Lollipops23

If his only other option is to go on the dole, then yes-you're being selfish.

It's pretty unlikely he would get another non-office Mon-Fri job. If you both want to make it work, you will.

Shrap

OP, there's a difference between not wanting your boyfriend to take the job and actively trying to stop him/persuade him not to. The first is not selfish, no. The second is selfish. I can completely understand why you wouldn't want him to take the job, for the reasons you've explained. It will be harder on your relationship than you had it till now, that's for sure. I'm sure he thinks so too. But in this day and age....well, you'd have to be proud of his work ethic, wouldn't you?

Give it 6 months to a year of trying to make things work this way and he might very well become established enough in the job to take better days/hours. I'd say support him OP, but explain that you're doing that and explain that you feel you might find it really tough not seeing him so much. See how it goes....

Stavro Mueller

When your boyfriend was job hunting did he try looking for anything closer to where you live? I can understand why you're unhappy but what was his alternative? Being on the dole brings its own set of problems and also makes it harder for him to get other jobs. Hopefully in time he can find another job or get better hours in this one.

LegacyUser

What exactly do you want him to do OP? Go on the dole just so you can see more of each other? Yeah it's not great when you can't see each other as much as you like but needs must. If he's been offered a job he should take it and can keep looking for something better in the mean time or you can look for something closer to him.

My cousin just spent two years working overseas and only got to see his wife four times in those two years. My dad was in the army and spent 18 months away at one point. It's not the end of the world just a bump along the way.

tinkerbell

You are being completely selfish here. Your bf needs to make a living, grow up. If you want to see more of him then perhaps you should consider living closer to him rather than 3 hours away. But you say that is not an option because you have work commitments. Well he has work commitments now too - a new job which requires weekend work.

meeeeh

We were recruiting for a couple of jobs. When we were looking for graduates with certain experience there weren't too many suitable applications. When we were looking for lower skilled or apprentice positions we were swamped with applications. Unfortunately your bf can't be picky and it is actually lucky to get something that quickly. He can still look for another job whole working at weekends. If anything free week days make job hunting easier.

It is short term pain for long-term gain.

Stavro Mueller

Also OP, is there anything your boyfriend could to do upskill? Would he be suited to learning a trade, for example? The poster above me makes a very good point - if he's someone who has to take whatever work's going, he's dead lucky to have picked up another job so quickly. If he's unskilled though, there's always going to be the risk that he'll end up in jobs with bad hours etc.

alias no.9

If he's working weekends, maybe he can come to you mid week and you to him weekends?