stopping drinking and smoking

geniuspure

I'm an alcoholic smoker. Tried everything I'm nearly 40 with bleak future. Health and family a mess. Can't last more than couple days. Ashamed of myself being so weak

Littlekittylou

Al anon. Hang in there.

tomwaterford

Have you tried to take up something to fill the absence left drinking/smoking...maybe cycling/sowing/another hobbie to keep your mind busy and hopefully the cravings away???

iusedtoknow

geniuspure wrote: »

I'm an alcoholic smoker. Tried everything I'm nearly 40 with bleak future. Health and family a mess. Can't last more than couple days. Ashamed of myself being so weak

First, talk to your doctor. They are there to help and if you are a heavy drinker (i'm talking tremors when you stop drinking etc) then you need their help to manage things.

Secondly, you need to want to stop. I did - it took a lot of effort and I still get cravings every now and then. One thing that I would recommend is DON'T tackle everything at the same time, it's destined to cause you to fall.

Thirdly you need to commit to not drinking. That isn't to say that you won't lapse. You will..pretty much everyone giving up relapses at some point, but you can't see it as a failure - you need to learn from your lapse to see what your triggers are and how to recognize them and avoid them. Usually it boils down to HALT...Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. You need to try and avoid all of these when you are trying to stay off the sauce

You also need to reeducate yourself about alcohol. There are some great books out there like "easy way to control alcohol". It helped me no end.

You may need AA. It didn't suit me, but that is not to say it doesn't suit everyone. I personally saw it as a personal struggle and did not want a sponsor. The other side is that I am deeply anti theistic and don't believe in ANY sort of higher power, be it the universe or anything else.

We have an active "non drinkers" forum here on boards. We're a mixed bag of long termers and newly sober or people trying sobriety. Personally, I haven't had a drink in 4 years. I don't see myself as a recovering alcoholic - I am an ex drinker.

geniuspure

tried aa yes get tremors. I'm very sick at present withdrawals. I'm also very overweight and isolated find very hard make friends I have social phobia low self worth

iusedtoknow

geniuspure wrote: »

tried aa yes get tremors. I'm very sick at present withdrawals. I'm also very overweight and isolated find very hard make friends I have social phobia low self worth

Get medical assistance. You doctor is there to help you get better. Do not do ANYTHING without their help.

Alcohol is a depressant, and while quitting is not a magical cure for everything that ales you, not having it in your system allows you (the real you) to get the help you need

I will say once again. See your doctor, and hang in there

geniuspure

Doctor sick of me

iusedtoknow

geniuspure wrote: »

Doctor sick of me

then get a new doctor

biko

Speak to a doctor, and maybe try hypnosis.
Maybe tackle the drink first and the smokes later.

geniuspure

hypnosis do u know cheap ones

MrWalsh

Tackle the drink first. Once you drink you are no longer in control so you cant stay off the smokes if you are still drinking.

What has your doctor tried?
What have you tried?

An earlier poster suggested Alanon, this is actually for people affected by someone elses drinking - it may have been AA that he/she was thinking of. Have you tried it?

What about residential centres such as the Rutland? Your health insurance might cover it?

biko

geniuspure wrote: »

hypnosis do u know cheap ones

Which town are you in?

RossFixxxed

Hey OP, I'm really sorry you're having such a terrible time. However, it is worth pointing out that you CAN do this. MORE IMPORTANTLY: Alcohol is a PHYSICAL addiction, so just quitting cold turkey can have health ramifications. I would strongly recommend visiting a doctor or medical professional as your first stop and work towards AA etc down the line.

While smoking isn't good at all for you, I would be inclined to try and stop the drinking first, and concentrate on that and deal with the smoking after a few months perhaps? I haven't had a drink in nearly 5 years now, but I only quit smoking last July (with the help of e-cigs and the vaping forum on here). I completely understand where you are now.

This is the bit that's hard to hear: your brain is LYING to you. It happens with addiction, and it can happen with depression. There appears to be absolutely no way out. Your brain can't handle all the change, chemicals sloshing around etc, so it an tell you to go for the quick fix: another drink. It has happened me on many occasions, and I know it will happen me again. I shot down everyone's suggestions, I thought nobody at all understood how difficult it was/is, I ignored anything positive as it just seemed WAY too difficult. And, to be honest, it IS very difficult, but it's not impossible. I'm far from a tower of unshakable mental health, and positivity but I did it. You can too.

It's extremely important to be mindful that there is help out there, and there are unhelpful people out there. If your doctor is bad, get a new one immediately. There are support groups, there are many many places to get help. The very fact that people here have taken time out to reply to you shows that people care and understand. Iusedtoknow has given great advice here and (s)he is one of many people who have been in that pit before, and are trying to reach down to you and tell you it will be ok. Look at it this way (it helps me at times): this is the worst right now. This is the bottom of the blackness, and you're still here and you're doing SOMETHING ABOUT IT. That takes courage and strength. A lot of it too. You're on your way. It will get better. Stay strong OP. Do no beat yourself up over this, it will make you worse. Ok it's not a great situation, but it could be down the line. You could find yourself in a few years helping others in this position, from the point of view of someone who has been there. You could change other people's lives as well as your own.

dont bother

as controversial as it sounds - would you take up vaping (e-cig) and for the drink, why not smoke a J? it will help with the symptoms of coming off the drink, like the tremors/physical symptoms, and will hopefully let you open up a little more in terms of getting outdoors and being less social-phobic.

Rubberchikken

talking to a doctor would be a good first step. if as you say you're doctor is unwilling to help then change to a different one.

don't try to fix everything in one go. start with the thing you want to change the most. work on that and see how things go.

evevrything you've mentioned is fixable in one way or another, it just requires will power and determination and only you can decide if you have that. sounds to me like you do, you just need to make a start.

best of luck

the evasion_kid

As others have said go to your doctor op,they've seen this a thousand times there's no Shame in it,they'll probably prescribe you a benzo to deal with withdrawal and you can do a home detox,trust me if you keep drinking to ward of the dt's you're asking for a lot worse down the line... it ain't pretty.

Tackle the booze first as cigarettes are like a comfort blanket while quitting,then when your head is in a better place(and it will be) tackle the smokes.I've not tried this but on the non drinkers forum some posters recommend Alan Carr's book on giving up alcohol.for me I had to change my attitude towards alcohol which was easy in the job I was in as I seen the full horrors of it,you might as well try getting me to down a glass of windowlene than touch a drop again.

Neyite

dont bother wrote: »

as controversial as it sounds - would you take up vaping (e-cig) and for the drink, why not smoke a J? it will help with the symptoms of coming off the drink, like the tremors/physical symptoms, and will hopefully let you open up a little more in terms of getting outdoors and being less social-phobic.

Mod:
Welcome to PI. Advising posters to break the law or indulge in illegal activity is not tolerated here. Please read the charter.

geniuspure

**** it i give up

gifted

geniuspure wrote: »

**** it i give up

Don't give up...greatest feeling in the world knowing that you can stop drinking and smoking and be in control of your life...getting to that stage of control is the hard part, take it one hour at a time....

donkey oatey

Look up Lifering and AA. There are some amazing meetings and there are unhealthy ones. Take in what you can relate to. Try to identify with what you hear at meetings. Discuss what seems alien to you with other people after a meeting. Stanhope St offer residential rehab but (AFAIK) you need to be off the booze and costs €50/week.

You're on a journey and how you feel now can and will change. The way you relate to booze has changed from when you were younger and can change again; You just need to choose how that relationship changes. I met a woman recntly who was detoxing from benzos and alcohol. The change in her was immense as she weaned off those drugs. She relapsed but has made it into Stanhope and I hope she can let go of her pain and start living again.

I'm lucky that alcohol is not a problem for me but I have seen how difficult alcohol can be for people. There is help and hop, you just need to take a step towards wanting something better than that for yourself (in my experience).

Good luck!

geniuspure

dublin

geniuspure

dublin

dellas1979

I really literally mean every second of the day (in your head), for as long as it takes to break the behavior (and you can break it - thats your choice) its "every second of this day, I choose (right now in this second) not to drink/smoke".

The more automatic it becomes, it will become, "every minute of this day, I choose (right now in this minute) not to drink/smoke".

The more automatic it becomes, it will become, "every hour of this day, I choose (right now in this hour) not to drink/smoke".

Take it second by second to get the control back - because you are the one making the choices. You will become very aware that you are the one making the choice.

And yes, you do need support. Whether its al anon, your (or a different doctor), a councellor...whomever, find what suits you, and keep trying.

sandmanporto

You will need medical attention for alcohol. Alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous and may need a replacement depressant during the detox stage. e.g Librium( like valium). Depending on how long you've been drinking heavily and how often, the withdrawal can be tough but stick with it. You have to do it for yourself and use your doc to get through it. Without the self determination and drive to free yourself of it, there's no use giving advice. It's tough but plenty of people have done it and now living sober lives, some of which haven't any interest in drinking anymore.
As for smoking, just quit the drink first. Quitting drink is the number one to quit and you have less chance of succeeding if you are balancing 2 withdrawals at once unless you are a very strong person.

MrWalsh

dellas1979 wrote: »

Whether its al anon, your (or a different doctor), a councellor...whomever, find what suits you, and keep trying.

Sorry, just to keep the info accurate, Alanon is for people affected by someone elses drinking, AA is for the drinker.

dellas1979

MrWalsh wrote: »

Sorry, just to keep the info accurate, Alanon is for people affected by someone elses drinking, AA is for the drinker.

Its no problem for a person to point out if something is inaccurate...

But Im afraid you are the one giving the inaccurate info.

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA or Al anon)

http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/

MrWalsh

dellas1979 wrote: »

Its no problem for a person to point out if something is inaccurate...

But Im afraid you are the one giving the inaccurate info.

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA or Al anon)

http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/

No Im sorry, its important to be clear on this.

Al anon means Alanon which is help for those affected by anothers drinking.

AA is Alcoholics Anonymous which is help for drinkers.

AA is never referred to as Al anon, that would simply be too confusing.

Even a brief google will show you:
https://www.google.ie/?gws_rd=ssl#q=Al+anon

Every single link for at least the first 5 pages of results there is help for people troubled by someone elses drinking.

I am not trying to be argumentative, but Al anon is not for alcoholics themselves.

A number of times someone looking for AA has accidentally come into the Alanon meeting I was attending and it can be very difficult when they realise they are in the wrong place - its hard enough to get the courage up to go at all so its important that people are clear which meeting to go into - they are often on at the same time in rooms close to each other.

Tigger99

Al Anon is most definitely not for alcoholics, but is for those affected by someone’s drinking, like a partner or family member. AA is a different meeting altogether.

dellas1979

I think this is a joke or something has been misinterpreted? I think youve misunderstood (I shortened the name).

http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/Information-on-AA


Al Anon is here: http://www.al-anon-ireland.org/

Neyite

dellas1979 wrote: »

I think this is a joke or something has been misinterpreted? I think youve misunderstood (I shortened the name).

http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/Information-on-AA


Al Anon is here: http://www.al-anon-ireland.org/

Your first link abbreviates it to AA and is for alcoholics. That page doesn't use the abbreviation Al-Anon anywhere. Al Anon is support for those affected by someone else's drinking. Two very different services.

You are the only person I've seen call Alcoholics Anonymous Al-Anon. Everyone else correctly calls it AA.

MrWalsh

dellas1979 wrote: »

I think this is a joke or something has been misinterpreted?

No, no joke at all. I am just aware that it is a very difficult step for people to go to a meeting - whether it be Alanon or AA and the smallest little negative thing could put them off. Its usually people in really severe mental anguish walking into a meeting for the first time.

Id hate for the OP (or anyone suffering with an alcohol problem) to read this, finally decide to go to a meeting (which is such a hard thing to do) and then walk into an Alanon meeting based on misinformation. It causes embarrassment, and in some cases guilt, and it could be something that causes them to leave in a panic and never come back.

So in the interests of helping people suffering from alcohol problems AND people suffering as a result of someone elses alcohol problems, its very important that we all use the correct terminology and dont confuse anyone.

AA - for alcoholics.
Alanon - for people affected by someone elses drinking.

dellas1979

MrWalsh - I abbreviated AA to al anon without (thinking) or realising you'd read it as "al anon" support. That is all!

Will you get off the horse. There is a poster here looking for advice.

IWillFindYou

To the Op (geniuspure) how are you feeling today ?