Ex-girlfriend won't leave me alone

LegacyUser

I'm 22, from and living in Ireland. She's 18, from Canada but visited Ireland for an extended holiday.

We were in a relationship with for 4 months, with it's ups and downs, until she moved back to her home in Canada. We tried the whole LDR thing but I couldn't stand it and I broke up with her. She did not take it well, sending me abusive messages and even sending some personal information and pictures to people I knew. That was 6 months ago, in September.

I asked her for space after the break-up, which she refused to give me. I deleted my Facebook and added her number to a spam filter in my phone, meaning her texts would go straight to a different folder in my phone and I would not be notified. Over 3 months, she continually text me while receiving no reply. I then decided to tell her to stop texting me and it only enraged her, and made her say more horrible things.

A month ago, I changed my number and told her so and she has not text my old number since. Since then, she has started adding my friends on Facebook, trying to get my new number and insisting that I have to contact her. Tonight I created an email address for her to message me, and for me to keep a record of the harassment. Which leads me up to now.

What do I do?

Chucky the tree

Try contacting one of her family members and explain to them. She's clearly mentally unwell and needs help.

Littlekittylou

Contact the police. At least she is in another country!

Stavro Mueller

Contact all your Facebook friends and tell them that she's stalking you and trying to get a hold of your new phone number. Ask them not to give it to her.

What exactly do you intend to do if she starts sending abusive emails to this email address you've set up? Are you hoping to go down the legal route and contact the police? That could be tricky seeing as it's online and she's in Canada. Are you going to send (or threaten to send) the texts and emails to her family?

Personally I can't understand why you went to the trouble of telling her what you were up to all along. You'd be in a far better place now if you'd just left her texts go into that spam folder. Provoking her and giving that email address is playing with fire in my opinion.

Novella

I don't understand why you changed your number and then told her, nor why you created an email account solely for the purpose of her being able to contact you. That boggles my mind, seriously. You don't want this person to contact you, right? Don't go giving her an avenue to do so then!

Get rid of that account, ask your friends not to provide her with your new phone number and move on.

ManOfMystery

I have to agree with Novella. Why did you give her any details at all? Are you holding out in the hope that she might suddenly realise the error of her ways and apologise? That never happens with stalkers. Cut her loose, and move on.

Shrap

Tonight I created an email address for her to message me, and for me to keep a record of the harassment.

What I took from this is that he's done it solely to keep a record of the harassment.

If you have any records kept of the harassment to date OP, I'd suggest a print out or screen grab and send it either snail mail or email direct to her parents with a short cover letter explaining the situation.

bjork

Shrap wrote: »

What I took from this is that he's done it solely to keep a record of the harassment.

.....

He already had the messages going in to a separate folder on his phone, which he could ignore without the added drama of changing numbers and emails and then contacting her to tell her.

She's in Canada. It shouldn't be that hard to ignore her.
You were with her 4 months. Does she know your friends? TBH She can contact them if she wants on FB. They can rejected or accept her if they want.

Ignore her let your friends choose to do the same if they want.

eviltwin

Any kind of contact adds fuel to the fire that is these people. It doesn't have to be positive contact, negative contact as in "leave me the **** alone" can be just as encouraging to them. So by engaging with her you're just making the problem worse.

Don't even try and reason with her, take all the advice above and contact the gardai if it continues. I know they can't do much with her overseas but it can be helpful if she ever comes back.

The_Conductor

Shes a kid- and is probably infatuated with the OP.
She isn't mentally deranged- shes just fixated on him.
As soon as she gets involved with someone else- it'll all probably die down.......
Unfortunately- a 4 year age gap at that age- can be a remarkable gulf...........

Fresh Pots

Send her a link to this thread. Maybe then she'll realise that everyone thinks she's a nutjob that needs to let go.

Oryx

Block her on fb so you wont see her and she wont see anything of you. If she gets your new number block her there too. Dont feed her obsession with any response, good or bad. Just pretend she doesn't exist.

crazygeryy

Delete face book account, get a new number, so easy to do these days. Cancel the email address and warn your close friends and i mean your close friends about her, not the people who like you in facebook.
Ignore her completely and she will get tired of getting no reply.
Just thank your lucky stars she's not in this country or some where near like England.

Ps dont bother your arse contacting her family or the police. Not a thing they can do. She could be from a family of nuts for all you know.
Ignore her and get on with your life and no matter how drunk you are DON'T contact her.

Big Bag of Chips

If you want nothing to do with her the block her on everything. Never log in to that email account. It's so easy these days to block people from contacting you. I know you must be curious about what she's going to say or whatever but as already mentioned any attention you give her is taken as encouragement.

Just walk away from her now. She's in Canada. Realistically she can't get at you if you just plainly ignore her. Do not, ever contact her again. Forget about that email address. She'll eventually move on when she gets another boyfriend.