How to react to being ignored ?!!

jungatheart

Hi all

I've been friends with someone for a few years and before Christmas she was really in a bad mood and made quite a few hurtful remarks to me. I was shocked and didn't see her again for a few weeks and I've seen her two or three times since - same every time, nothing explicit is said but I come away feeling awful.

She said she's too busy to see me right now but I'm wavering between not seeing her again and wanting to see her and ask her why is she behaving like this. ? I was listening to psychoanalyst michael murphy on radio this morning and he talked about snubbing being so wounding and how it's important to speak.

Any ideas how to broach this. I really can't decide what to do as it's eating away at me and yet I know if I ask I will get a passive aggressive there's nothing wrong !!

foleypio

jungatheart wrote: »

<Mod Snip> No need to quote the entire post to reply to it.

It sounds like your friend is pissed off about something but instead of coming out with it to your face she is skirting around the issue.

I think your much better off taking her to one side & asking her straight, "look, have I done something to offend you recently because I feel like your a bit off with me".

If she denies it & continues on with her current form, your better off without her.

Jon Stark

Leave her to it, if she wants to explain she'll tell you. In the meantime don't let it get to you.

Saralee4

I would confront her on it. Most of the time if you confront someone they will be honest.

She might think something of you that's not true so its important for you to clear it with her. If she is still making an issue and you feel that you have done nothing wrong or apologised enough for something that you did do wrong, then leave her to it.

At least that way you did the right thing.

Rubberchikken

you could ask her if something's the matter or you could just ignore her. some people read too much into something or take a slight at the smallest thing. it depends on how good a friend you are with her and if you want the friendship to continue.

LegacyUser

Hey OP

I would suggest instead of "confronting" your friend, perhaps you should approach the subject more delicately, there is a possibility you mah have said or done something to upset your friend as to why they are acting this way, a 'confrontation' would only put more strain on your relationship. Perhaps gently approach the subject, asking them if there has anything been bothering them in the past few months, that they seem to be acting/behaving a little differently than normal. Obviously this is easier said than done but I believe if you truly want "this" to be resolved this issue will have to be addressed, in my opinion.

LegacyUser

Op, I just wouldn't bother with her. From my own experience, I would have been a very quiet and naive sheltered person in my teens, but it was unfortunately came across as snobby to a lot of people.
I knew this had to do with people just snubbing me for no reason, and I did everything I could to ask them why and would try my best to speak up more, but no use.
I did something I should have done long ago, and just didn't bother anymore. Didn't go through the effort of saying even hi in the hallway at school, and honestly it was the best thing I did. A weight was lifted and I was able to focus my attention on other things.

Just do that OP, if you can say that you tried your best and asked her what her problem is, just don't bother staying in contact.