Uncle is Homeless, mother deeply affected.

LegacyUser

I really don't know where to start about this problem. It has deeply effected my mother over the last few weeks.

Background to my uncle and his situation.

My uncle is unemployed/retired and has been for the last 15 years when he retired from his government job early due to illness. He gets a pension of €280 per week from this ever since. My uncle is 65 years of age but is not entitled to an extra old-age pension at age 66 due to his Civil Service pension.

He was positioned all over Ireland during his career and never bought a house when he had big salaries back in the day. Around 20-25 years ago they finally settled in a large county capital town, I'm keeping this anonymous sorry.

In 2008 he finally left his wife in what was a very abusive relationship, this man is literally the definition of a battered husband, his wife often physically abused him and she was an absolute tyrant to live with. All three of her children will attest to what a nasty piece of work she really is.

He has three children and they are all adults, the eldest son is in his mid-thirties and left their family home when he was 16 and never looked back, he lives his own life independently in Canada today and has cut all links to his family. We consider him to be lucky one and he made the right decisions in his life.

My Uncles Daughter I partly blame for his his currently difficulty, she left Ireland around 2001 when she was 20 and went to England where she was living up until the end of 2011, she returned back to Ireland and billeted herself in with her father, my uncle who is today homeless. I hadn't seen her for years and she came back very obese weighing 20+ stone.

After my uncle left his wife in 2008 he got given a brand new council house and he lived there in relative harmony on his own from 2008 to the end of 2011 when his daughter returned from England, her story was she had become unemployed and couldn't afford to live in England so instead she billeted herself in with her father. The truth was that she got fired for her alcoholism, drug addiction and her morbid obesity. Unfortunately around the same time my uncles former wife got evicted out of her rental house and she and the youngest son moved back in with my uncle into the new Council house.

After only a month all hell broke loose with the mother and daughter constantly fighting, and the daughter managed to convince my uncle and the younger son to move out into a pure tumble down shack which had cheap rent.

They lived there for a year and a half and were eventually evicted by the Gardai as they had failed to pay rent for around 6 months, but considering the state of the house I don't blame them.

They subsequently moved to another town but got evicted after only 6 months after their two dogs became a problem. They moved to another house in the same town after that straight away.

Three weeks ago they were evicted and became homeless, the initially stayed with a friend for the first two weeks, but they moved in with my mum and me then, for a few nights and stay in a homeless hostel now.

At our wits end, and i can't even type it all due to the stressfulness of it.

Kelly06

family-worries wrote: »

Mod Note: Please don't quote the full post. It clogs up the thread with duplicate text.

Who is in the council house now? Who is paying the rent in it? Surely your uncle didn't hand the house over to his abusive ex wife. If so and he is still the lead tenant ... Turf her out on to the street and let her fend for herself.

LegacyUser

Kelly06 wrote: »

Who is in the council house now? Who is paying the rent in it? Surely your uncle didn't hand the house over to his abusive ex wife. If so and he is still the lead tenant ... Turf her out on to the street and let her fend for herself.

+1 if the council house is in his name then he needs to kick the ex and daughter out. What age is this youngest son, if he's an adult then he should be looking after himself.

MrWalsh

While it is very stressful for your mother and yourself no doubt, unfortunately you cannot live someone else's life for them and make decisions in their best interest.

You also cannot blame the daughter. Your uncle himself is entirely to blame! Why did he let the daughter then the wife into the council house? Why doesn't he turf them out? Why can't he and the son rent without being evicted?

Electric Sheep

MrWalsh wrote: »

You also cannot blame the daughter.

Of course he can. She came back from England fat. In fact, she lost her job due to "morbid obesity":rolleyes: If there was any truth whatsoever to that, she would have a good case for unfair dismissal.

You see, if she was thin, none of this would have happened.:rolleyes:

bjork

It seems they were given a lot of chances and got evicted every time. It's not your problem. They need to sort themselves out. Don't let him move in with you.

As above, who'e name is on the council house?

foleypio

OP, its hard to know where to start with your post.

First of all, your uncle has to be responsible for his own actions as we all do. There are various support groups he could go to if his wife is being abusive towards him.

Secondly, he was given that council house so I'm assuming its still in his name. He needs to move back in there asap & kick the mother out. I know it sounds easier said then done I would have thought facing a reality of homelessness would be worse.

Thirdly, he needs to sit down & have a serious chat with his two kids, they can no longer be allowed to rely on him financially or otherwise as first of all he's already raised them & secondly he cant afford it.

If he's not prepared to do at least two of the above things, there is not alot you can do for him except get him to speak to a professional