suspected autism (but Im not the parent)

LegacyUser

Just looking for some advice for people in the know. My nephew is 3 and is a gorgeous, fun loving child and I love him but increasingly now I believe he is on the spectrum. To name only some of the indications, his speech is delayed, he doesn't make eye contact , responds only rarely to his name .(he has never once engaged with my other sister, despite her efforts). He has aggression issues, (frustration?) but doesn't understand why he shouldnt hit his brother, sensitivities to textures, movements, sporadic toe walking, ocd tendencies ie closing curtains and doors. To top it off, I believe that it is an issue in my family at large, whereby some of the males I think are on the spectrum to varying degrees. There has never been any admission by anyone that it is an issue in the family so nobody ever received any kind of interventions, (I have a cousin who is 30 and basically mute unable to hold or conduct a civil conversation,and as a result cannot live independently, this is labelled as him being "Ignorant", to me its clearly more than that ). I worry about my nephew being unable to reach his potential because of the stupid pride and ego in his entire family. A child care work has suggested for my nephew to engage with supports given his speech delays however my sister and her husband,have decided against it so the denial continues. I have encouraged them to reconsider, (in the nicest way possible) but nobody in the family supported me (both sets of grandparents "there's not a thing wrong"). I understand its not my child, I wonder from your own experiences what are the main risks of not intervening? Can a child ever overcome the obstacles on their own? Thank you.

MarkR

I went through it from the other side. I was convinced there was nothing wrong with my son, because he did x y and z. Best option would be to speak to your sibling about early intervention. It is critical that, if they need help, they get it asap. Particularly as there are so many delays in getting support.

A thing to remember is, whatever the outcome, your nephew is still the same child regardless of any diagnosis. Avoiding an issue won't help them, long or short term. Be very conscious that you might be upsetting them by voicing your concerns, but you are just trying to do the best for your nephew.

January

I came across this with my own child, I was convinced there was something there and everyone around me told me she was fine, not a thing wrong with her. She'd grow out of it once she went to school etc. I of course didn't listen to them and went about early intervention etc and she was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder and is waiting for further assessments for dyspraxia too.

Unless you can talk your sister and her husband into at least having him assessed (maybe take the approach that if they think there's nothing wrong why don't they have him assessed anyway to prove you right? That way once a professional tells them there may be something up they will hopefully take it more seriously?).

Once he gets to primary school anyway the teachers will push to have him assessed if there is something wrong and teachers can be very persuasive in that regard.

I really hope they see sense and get him assessed sooner rather than later though.

byhookorbycrook

January wrote: »

Once he gets to primary school anyway the teachers will push to have him assessed if there is something wrong and teachers can be very persuasive in that regard.

I really hope they see sense and get him assessed sooner rather than later though.

Unfortunately with the proposed new model of SEN provision, NEPS assessments will be seriously reduced-if done at all. The idea is supposedly mean to allow the school decide which pupils need support without the need for assessment but it is, in fact a cost saving measure, and as many schools will now be faced with the abolition of the once ring-fenced resource hours, it will be a scramble to get any child any kind of support.

The assessment of needs process through the HSE is actually quite comprehensive and will open doors to such professionals as speech and lang therapists, occupational therapists and so on. They do need to apply for it themselves, however.

Parents can be very slow to come around to the idea that their wonderful child has any kind of extra need and it is hard for them. I would approach it from the speech delay thing,rather than voicing a concern over any social/motor skills or what have you. It's easier for parents to accept the speech issue, as it is obvious.

mohawk

I would echo what other posters have said. Maybe bring up the speech delay. There are very long waiting lists for speech and language therapists at present. If you can persuade them to put his name down and maybe say his speech might improve by the time he is called and that this is a just in case.

Once he is in the system being seen by an SLT then he will be referred on if needs be.

Steven81

My wifes sister is 21 and has autism, she was the 7th child and her mother knew something wasnt right, she kept on and on with the doctors who kept telling her there was nothing wrong with her, different times. She can do a lot of things but with more care would be a lot more advanced.

Our nearly 3 year old was diagnosed before christmas, symptoms were there, delayed speech, issues eating, poor interaction. She went through the early intervention. Personally i think she has come on so much in the last few months, she goes to creche for 3 hours 2 days a week, she is smart so we are trying to activate her brain constantly. The more help she gets the better the outcome long term, no one knows what the outcome will be but give them the best possible chance as a parent/relative.

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone for the feedback, it is very helpful. I believe fully in early intervention,I think children at a young age learn so quickly. There is a part of me scared for my nephew having to navigate his obvious issues all alone just because the adults in his life wont man up, so to speak. My nephew only yesterday got into trouble for aggressively kicking a neighbours child, even when told he has no understanding he has done anything wrong, or any idea that he has hurt someone, these kicking out bursts are common and he gives his brother a really hard time. Unfortunately I feel this behaviour, which is regular, is because he needs supports not due to actual boldness for the sake of it. I actually did approach it from the point of view of a speech delay and didnt mention autism whatsoever, but I was told in response that the professionals are looking to diagnose children with all manner of delays in order to make money.I wont give up just yet but I need to be very gentle in my approach, despite that fact that I feel angry that my nephews welfare is being compromised by a bunch of adults who wont swallow their pride. I admire all of you for facing the fears and accessing the supports.

CaraMay

Having been through the whole assessment process with my child and seeing how quickly early intervention works, I would have no time for the gentle approach. Every week that passes is a missed opportunity to help the child and so far the nicely, nicely approach hasn't worked.

I would be telling them your concerns out straight. The childs future is more important than the parents ego.

Lucyfur

byhookorbycrook wrote: »

Unfortunately with the proposed new model of SEN provision, NEPS assessments will be seriously reduced-if done at all. The idea is supposedly mean to allow the school decide which pupils need support without the need for assessment but it is, in fact a cost saving measure, and as many schools will now be faced with the abolition of the once ring-fenced resource hours, it will be a scramble to get any child any kind of support.

Jesus. When is that coming in to effect? What about kids already in the system who have yearly NEPS assessments? And kids who only have resource hours and no SNA, what will happen there?

Sorry for hijacking the thread, feel free to PM me

Call me Al

Yes, is this elimination of resource hours really coming down the track?

This is very worrying!

carrieblack

Dont wait is my advice and it never goes away on its own if it is Autism. We waited for the HSE for 3 and a half years and I am so sorry we lost that time. Go private. My sister had an assessment privately for 375 euros happy to pass on details if you PM me. Dont get sucked in to the 600 euro a pop thing that Apex and other places charge that is a rip off and their assessments are not accepted for services.