That nice warm confident addictive liquor feel

cometogether

Hello all. Perhaps strangely enough I lurk on this forum an awful lot, it's some pretty inspiring stuff. I'm 21 years old and trying to give up the jar. I've come to accept that due to problems with depression and anxiety and self-confidence issues that alcohol and I don't mix well (pardon the pun), and that it generally just leads to bad things. Plus I'm fed up of the above issues being massively exacerbated by the hangovers and the long days that follow. Essentially I'm fed up with the whole scene and feel I'd get a lot more of my life if I left it behind. However, there's just one thing holding me back. When with people, particularly people that I don't know well I find it hard to let down my guard and open up, but when I've had maybe three or four drinks I seem to forget all my doubts and can be the life and soul of the party. However, I've come to realise that any confidence that has to be gotten from an outside source isn't confidence at all. So as per the thread title, has anyone got any tips on how to feel like this without the booze? I went for a run tonight and when I got back I had that feeling, wish I could bottle it!

hubba

You basically have to teach yourself how to cope in those situations and just like a phobia, you start with small exposure (arrive late, leave early, always have an escape plan) and gradually increase it. You must build on each success and always focus on the positives of the evening when you are doing the inevitable post mortem.

I read somewhere that the anxiety levels peak after about 20 mins in such situations then even if you are doing nothing to counteract it, it just dissipates naturally whereas if you are drinking, the anxiety tends to linger as you drink more and more.

A good book for this is http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Social-Anxiety-Shyness-Gillian/dp/1849010005/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1424955743&sr=8-1&keywords=overcoming+social+anxiety+and+shyness+gillian+butler

I hope this helps.

cometogether

hubba wrote: »

You basically have to teach yourself how to cope in those situations and just like a phobia, you start with small exposure (arrive late, leave early, always have an escape plan) and gradually increase it. You must build on each success and always focus on the positives of the evening when you are doing the inevitable post mortem.

I read somewhere that the anxiety levels peak after about 20 mins in such situations then even if you are doing nothing to counteract it, it just dissipates naturally whereas if you are drinking, the anxiety tends to linger as you drink more and more.

A good book for this is http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Social-Anxiety-Shyness-Gillian/dp/1849010005/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1424955743&sr=8-1&keywords=overcoming+social+anxiety+and+shyness+gillian+butler

I hope this helps.

Nice one thanks for the reply, I'll be sure to check that out

gmarty

Hey,

A lot of us and me included have struggled with alcohol, depression and anxiety, and top of my list is wanting to fit in but not knowing how. Fear,anxiety ruined my life and I came very close to checking outa here. All I can do is share my experience and journey with you. Using alcohol/drugs etc is just the end result of something much deeper within us. I believe the key lies in getting to yourself, you fears, triggers, anxieties ,levels of loneliness that drives us to drink, which relieves these emotions but only for a short time. Get pen to paper, get writing about your childhood, and compare and can you see similarities that are in your present life and connect the two. Cut away old friends that are not good for you. Try therapy with a Psycotherapist even if it's once a month, read some good books. One that changed my life was reclaiming your inner child by Bradshaw. It's much easier to drink to rid oneself of these awful feelings, which in fact just creates a much bigger problem. A man who conquers themselves is greater than man who Conway city!

gmarty

A man who conquers himself is greater than a man who conquers a city.