Head wrecked

bones123

Hi, just looking for some advice. I was going out with a guy for nearly 7 years, he ended up cheating on me, i forgave him, turns out he had got the girl pregnant, we struggle along through the pregnancy and birth but break up, all the while keeping in daily contact, I go travelling for a few months, we remain in constant contact, try to make a go of it when I get back, but I end up seeing them out and about together, turns out he'd been seeing her on and off while I had been away, he begs for us to try again but I feel it's pointless even though I love him, I just feel I can't trust him, he ends up moving in with her but still texts me telling me how much he loves me etc and wanting to meet up. In the meantime I meet a guy and get with him, we're together over a year now but I just can't get this other guy, the cheater, out of my head, I find myself dreaming of him constantly, it doesn't help that we all live in the same small place so see each other in the shops/street regularly. I don't want him but can't stop thinking about him all the same. How do I get him out of my head? I feel it's not fair on my current boyfriend. I feel it's making me stressed and I'm ruining my current relationship because of it. Any advice would be great. Thanks in advance!

Blue Iris

If your nature is very loyal, it can be hard to cut ties with someone, even when they have treated you really shabbily. Your head knows he is not worth it but your heart tells you that you still have feelings for him. Write down everything he did to you and the ways in which he really hurt you. That's not an easy thing to do but it reinforces what you already know about him. Write down all the reasons as to why you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with him anymore. Picture yourself withdrawing all emotional energy from him. This may sound strange, but visualisation can be helpful. Sometimes people want to keep all their options open but you deserve more than this. You deserve someone for whom you are a priority. Best of luck.

blatantrereg

Is he still texting you and stuff?
Tell him to stop that if he is. You can block his number if he doesn't.
Don't entertain any sort of inappropriate attention from him, or engage with him at all.

bones123

blatantrereg wrote: »

Is he still texting you and stuff?
Tell him to stop that if he is. You can block his number if he doesn't.
Don't entertain any sort of inappropriate attention from him, or engage with him at all.

No he doesn't text anymore, I put a stop to it because I felt any contact was just dragging things on. I have done everything to stop any form of relationship, that's why I can't understand why I can't stop thinking about him. It's at the point that I'm almost comparing my boyfriend to him, which is hugely unfair.

bones123

Thanks for the advice Blue Iris, I'm going to try those visualisation techniques.

giggle84

Don't be so hard on yourself, you know this guy is bad news and you're not going to go back there so that's the main thing. You will forget about him in time.

Dixie Chick

The scar of cheating and what you have gone through takes a long time to heal. You do not want him, you just cant get past the pain . Would you consider a few counselling sessions, do not let this run over into your life more than it has

Good luck to you