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Break up with girlfriend?

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  • 21-02-2015 6:09pm
    #1
    blushirt88
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭


    Hi Guys,

    I am looking for some advice. I have another active account on here but don't want to be identifiable for this particular post. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend now for 5 months. I know it is very early on but it feels like it got serious very quickly. We have spent a great deal of time together and shared some really sweet and romantic times.

    She told me before Christmas that she was in love with me and is scared of getting hurt because I am going to leave her and go back to dating guys (I identify as bisexual while is gay). I felt obliged to tell her I loved her back and have said it since but out of feeling obliged to as I am afraid of upsetting her- she is quite emotional and crying is not uncommon for her. While I do care about her and think she is a great person and we get along very well, have fun and can share problems and confide in each other etc, I don't think I love her and I am definitely not in love with her. I don't know if that will ever happen. I feel comfortable in her company and we have a similar sense of humour which means we have good craic.

    The sex is very good and I get very turned by her but still don't get those love feelings- I have been in love before and know the difference. I don't feel completely happy with her in the relationship and feel drained by it and stressed sometimes as she can be quite needy at times while I feel that I need my space and time to pursue my own interests. I have a busy schedule at the moment with work and studying part time, applying for jobs and doing interviews whereas she has a lot more free time on her hands and gets upset if I can't be with her most nights.

    She is a great person though and has been incredibly kind, loving and sweet in the relationship so far and I am thinking that I will miss her and may be making a mistake if I do break it off with her. I would surely miss her company and the companionship as we have grown very close emotionally. I will miss the physical side of it too because the sexual side of the relationship is going pretty well but I feel the relationship lacks in other areas.

    I am considering breaking up with her this week but am wondering about the more tactful, sensitive way to do this, is possible. I am not fully sure it is the right thing to do but these doubts about the relationship are becoming almost omni-prescent in my mind in the past few weeks and it is making me feel bad. Any advice appreciated. Thanks.
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Comments

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    #2
    claudiasan
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭claudiasan


    Some decisions are hard in life, but one has to do what he got to do. It feels bad in doing, but afterwards you get so much relaxation that it open doors of many opportunities upon you.


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    #3
    RagsOBrien
    Registered Users Posts: 70 ✭✭RagsOBrien


    It sounds like it is something you need to do as you are not fully happy in the relationship. It will be hard but you will probably feel better in the long run and maybe find a relationship that fulfills you more. Best of luck!


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    #4
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    5 months in you should both be having fun with this, not dealing with a complete mind melt. I personally think I would be calling time on it, its really hard work being in a relationship with someone who is always afraid you are going to find someone else. Its like this now, imagine it in a years time!

    Not sure what you can do to make it an easy break up, its going to be hard on her whatever you do. I'd do it in person, be honest about the fact you don't feel its going anywhere, don't give any false hope, prepare yourself for the tears and promises to be less insecure etc, don't respond to texts, block her on FB/Twitter etc. But I do think you are better doing it sooner rather than later.

    At 5 months you do know in your heart if a relationship has the potential to be long term and you don't have that and while I don't see anything wrong with the "wait and see" approach ie keeping it going because the physical side is so good, I don't think this girl seems mentally strong enough to cope with the eventual ending.

    Good luck with it, not an easy thing to do but if you do decide it over then its best to get it out of the way.


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