Flirting on tinder

LegacyUser

My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. We've past the honeymoon phase, I guess you could say, and are very comfortable with each other. So, we like to do random things with a good sense of humor. For fun, we decided to join Tinder on his phone. We "flirt" with people, but like I said it's all in good fun and we do it when we are bored.

But lately, I've started to feel a little paranoid. Sometimes my boyfriend will check his phone and then put it away and I wonder if he's on Tinder. (There was one girl recently who was really attractive). I asked him about it and he blew up at me saying it was my idea to get on the app in the first place and now I'm using it to accuse him of cheating. He called me crazy! Am I? I felt bad, but I can't help it. How do I get rid of this paranoid feeling? Or should I tell him to delete the app? And if so, how do I tell him?

Rekop dog

Feelingsad:( wrote: »

My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. We've past the honeymoon phase, I guess you could say, and are very comfortable with each other. So, we like to do random things with a good sense of humor. For fun, we decided to join Tinder on his phone. We "flirt" with people, but like I said it's all in good fun and we do it when we are bored.

But lately, I've started to feel a little paranoid. Sometimes my boyfriend will check his phone and then put it away and I wonder if he's on Tinder. (There was one girl recently who was really attractive). I asked him about it and he blew up at me saying it was my idea to get on the app in the first place and now I'm using it to accuse him of cheating. He called me crazy! Am I? I felt bad, but I can't help it. How do I get rid of this paranoid feeling? Or should I tell him to delete the app? And if so, how do I tell him?

Are you crazy? Yes, honestly you sound a little bit insane.

How do you get rid of this paranoid feeling? Try addressing the above.

Should you tell him to delete the app? Probably, leading random single people on is at best a little pathetic, try getting a healthier pastime to quell the boredom.

blatantrereg

Was it actually your idea to put it on his phone?
I don't know how it works, but did you set up separate accounts, or a joint account, or just an account for him?

Yes deleting the app would be the best idea, one way or another.

Penny Tration

Yes, you should ask him to delete the app. If it's just 'for fun,' then he should be happy to delete it.

As a side note - setting up an account just to flirt and lead people on is a pretty crappy thing to do. You should ask yourselves why you felt the need to do that. I really fail to see how it's funny.

giggle84

Feelingsad:( wrote: »

For fun, we decided to join Tinder on his phone. We "flirt" with people, but like I said it's all in good fun and we do it when we are bored.

This isn't funny, it's a little twisted. And for a relationship it's playing with fire.

miamee

Leading people on for cheap laughs because you and your boyfriend are bored with each other is an awful thing to do. If you find each other that dull, I'd suggest there were worse problems in the relationship before tinder came along and these are something you need to address.

For anyone wondering, you cannot have a joint Tinder account. It is connected to your Facebook account and can only use photos from your FB - you can choose which ones to use. So OP and boyfriend would have either set up a fake FB account for it or chosen one of their own accounts. OP, is the account set up with your boyfriend's details (name, photos) or yours or some made up details?

LegacyUser

Hmm... isn't Tinder the hookup app? I get that you started it "just for fun," but really... call me old school, but I'd leave the hook-up app to single people and be more creative about your entertainment choices as a couple... (unless you are trying to hook-up with other people, which is definitely flirting with danger and another completely different post altogether, but it doesn't sound like that's your intention).

Re: deleting the app, I think it's very fair and reasonable to request him to delete it. Be straightforward: "Tinder's not fun anymore. I'd appreciate if you deleted it." If you guys started using the app together as a way to entertain yourselves, then it's really not a big deal if you delete it or not. It should feel the same as deleting Words with Friends, Angry Birds, or that horoscope app you never read anymore...

Sleepless and Manic

miamee wrote: »

Leading people on for cheap laughs because you and your boyfriend are bored with each other is an awful thing to do. If you find each other that dull, I'd suggest there were worse problems in the relationship before tinder came along and these are something you need to address.

And look at the result. Its only a short step from leading on a stranger to leading on ones partner and now the OP has lost her trust in her BF. And trust isnt easily regained.

A dumbass thing to do in the first place and the way its playing out is testament to that.

:P