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Loonley

  • 20-02-2015 8:45pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi guys,
    Basically I broke up with the other half a month ago. We had been having problems for a long time before hand. We had been on/off for 3 months.
    I really love this person.
    We had been talking about trying to get back together again and they had actually said that they loved me and would do absolutely anything to make us work.
    They went out the following night and met someone else, arranged a date and met this other person for another date a couple of days later.
    All the while they continued to text and call me as normal until I noticed something a bit off so I asked what was going on? They told me they had met someone and it was time for us to move on.
    I'm heartbroken, still. I have never discussed a future with anybody before this, where as we had discussed getting married having kids, basically a future together.
    I have spoken to them twice since then and both times they've told me how much they miss me, still love me but don't want to get back together etc. I realize its hopeless now.
    Anyway that is the back story to it and I guess my question is, how long do I go on feeling like s*** for? Lonely and upset and thinking about them..
    P.s. I realize some of it may be jealousy but the majority is the fact that I love them and just want them back..


Comments

  • #2
    DUB0207-old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 44 ✭DUB0207-old


    Sobstory wrote: »
    We had been talking about trying to get back together again and they had actually said that they loved me and would do absolutely anything to make us work.
    They went out the following night and met someone else, arranged a date and met this other person for another date a couple of days later.
    All the while they continued to text and call me as normal until I noticed something a bit off so I asked what was going on? They told me they had met someone and it was time for us to move on.

    They? who are you referring to?

    Sorry, your post is a bit confusing [there's a slightly chance my brain is not functioning properly. Its late, I should get some sleep]


  • #3
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    I think the OP (who has chosen to keep the gender of their ex anonymous) is saying that after they broke up, the ex met someone else. He/She started dating this new person but continued to keep in contact with the OP :)


  • #4
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    Hi Sobstory. There isn't any set period for how long you'll feel so awful. Even though you'd broken up a month ago, you were still in contact with your ex and thinking you'd get back together again. I'm guessing you've only found out about the new man/woman on the scene recently? In other words, this is still very very raw for you.

    I understand that you're heartbroken and lonely but are you wearing rose-tinted glasses. What's jumping out at me are the words "problems for a long time before hand" and "on/off for 3 months". If this pattern had continued, it was never going to work.

    Hard and all as it is for you to read this, the best way for you to get over this is to cut contact with your ex. No calls, no texts, no checking Whatsapp. I think Facebook's the biggest head-melt of all when you've broken up with someone: the last thing you need to see are photos of them with their new other half.

    Do you have any friends you can go out with or things to keep yourself busy with? The worst thing you can do at the moment is sit at home thinking about this and tormenting yourself. Deliberately fill your schedule for the next couple of weeks so you'll be busy, getting out of the house and have less time to think about this. Mind yourself x


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Stavro Mueller wrote: »
    I think the OP (who has chosen to keep the gender of their ex anonymous) is saying that after they broke up, the ex met someone else. He/She started dating this new person but continued to keep in contact with the OP :)

    Thats it exactly. I'll refer to them as ,he/she, anymore. Might keep it less confusing.

    [Mod Note: It makes it more confusing! I'm changing it to "they". People know what you mean.]

    Got a call from them today saying they wanted to try again. I asked what happened between them and the other person. Told me that they had told other person they wanted to cool it off for a while as they had feelings for me.
    I asked had they slept together? They said yes, last weekend. I asked why the sudden change of heart? They said they were having trouble moving on and wanted to see could the two of us try again.
    Basically I feel like something has happened between them and other person and that now I am the back up plan...
    Ive told them where to go. They said that it is was pure jealousy so over the last month when I wanted to get back together with them...

    Hope this isn't as confusing to read!


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