Think I'm a hypochondriac and it's killing my relationship.

aido-2006-

Hey all - so as the title suggests I think I might be a hypochondriac. Every time I am even a little bit sick or I have a minor symptom I jump to the worst possible scenario. This is causing me to suffer from some pretty heavy anxiety. An example would be that recently I was diagnosed with a dust mite allergy, this gives you a little bit of blood in your sinuses and can cause a blocked nose. My immediate thought was that I had some form of cancer. More recently I had a couple of weeks of bad stomach acid which caused cramps - of course I had myself convinced that I had a serious condition. These are a couple of examples of a long, long list in the last few years.

The anxiety is causing me to lose sleep, I'm getting night sweats which are waking me up, I avoid going to bed as I'm afraid to be alone with my own thoughts and I'm grumpy and edgy most days. I'm basically a wreck. I also won't listen to reason, she's been near breaking point with me a few times and I can't say I blame her.

I explained to my GP that I was suffering from anxiety and she prescribed me Xanax for a month. They helped but I don't want to take a drug that I am going to become dependent on.

Should I go back to my GP or should I look into seeing a Psychologist / Psychiatrist? Anyone care to share their experiences on this and how they got over it? This is all causing me to become very depressed, I know I need help but it's not easy to take the steps to look for it.

ABajaninCork

I think looking into CBT would be a very good idea for you.

littlemisshobo

Agree with the above post. Check out Aware.ie... They have free online CBT courses both in person and online. There are some good books out there too. If you can afford it then CBT counselling

aido-2006-

Thanks guys, will have a look into the resources that are available. Really appreciate your help, I'm at my wits end and am starting to think I'm going crazy.

Saipanne

aido-2006- wrote: »

Thanks guys, will have a look into the resources that are available. Really appreciate your help, I'm at my wits end and am starting to think I'm going crazy.

I'd recommend the psychologist also.

Faith

For sure, therapeutic intervention is your best bet. CBT is a good approach for dealing with anxiety disorders.

Shrap

Amateur psychologist here! Can I ask you what you think is going on for you every time you jump to the worst possible conclusion about an ailment OP? I've done it a few times - once with a lump in my breast, so I consider myself forgiven to thinking it was the dreaded cancer, and once to my shame, for a scaly patch on my leg that my ex husband insisted (turns out he was joking) was the dry leprosy. I didn't believe him, but I got awful upset. It was a fungal infection from a cat scratch, in the end.

I remember though, when I suddenly thought "Oh god, this is something serious" that my mortality became immediately uppermost in my mind and the pure fear that I wouldn't be around for my kids/the pain that my parents would feel if I died became suddenly overwhelming, and rational thought went out the window.

I'd be interested to know if the overwhelming fear that comes up for you every time you have something minor (which makes the kind of fear I think we all have to be a more ongoing problem for you) can be pinpointed as starting for any reason in particular? Mine started when I had children.

aido-2006-

Well, I met the woman whom I love, and am now engaged to, about 2 and a half years ago. This started happening not too long afterwards, now that I think about it.

The first thing it happened with was a sinus infection, I was convinced that I had some form of sinus cancer - despite my GP diagnosing me. I changed GP's after I went back a couple of times as I was convinced he was dismissing me. He wasn't, as my new GP came to the same conclusion and put me on antibiotics. It's spiraled since then. I'm feeling OK this evening and when I have these moments or days of clarity I can look at my situation and think how silly it is that I go into panic mode every time I have something minor wrong. This could (and probably will) change by the time I go to bed tonight. Like you said, it's that overwhelming fear of mortality that makes me an anxious wreck.

Last night I woke 3 times and the bed was absolutely soaked through, I had been sweating all night. This happens from time to time and it feeds into my fears as night sweats can be a symptom of several cancers. It's a vicious circle, my anxiety is making me feel unwell which is in turn making me more anxious / fearful.

Both of my parents are in their 70's and both had heart surgery 3 and 5 years ago. Dad had a double bypass and my Mam had a stent put in. I don't know if that has anything to do with it, I'm 27 and I don't see them as often as I used to but I love them both very much. We were always a close family. Likewise, I don't see much of my brothers these days. It's not a conscious decision, simply that I live too far from them to visit regularly and I work full time which also makes it hard. I think about them all, almost every night too. I worry about them and their health also, it's like I have a chronic fear of death. I'm not feeling anything that anyone else doesn't, I'm just feeling it every single day, or night as it is for the most part.

jenggg

Hi there,

I don't often post but felt I must after reading yours as it's something that isn't often talked about.

I have gone through two bad episodes of health anxiety-once in my twenties and again about eight years later. I convinced myself that I had a particular disease and it wasn't until I went for the tests that I believed it wasn't true. The second time it happened I was convinced I had the same disease again and then had a headache for months, night sweats, lack of appetite, losing weight. It's amazing what the mind can make your body feel-actual physical symptoms. I went to my GP who suggested I go for CTB. I did this and certainly I found it helpful and knew deep down I wasn't sick, after 6 months of not being able to shift the fear of disease/brain tumours, I went back to the GP and asked for the anti-depressant medication. TBH I hadn't really considered I was depressed but looking back, several months before the health anxiety I had started to feel like ****e. I just didn't feel like myself. Then a pretty stressful life event happened and I just felt floored. Then the health anxiety started. I truly believe the depression was the underlying cause of my anxiety and for me the medication was the only thing to pull me out of it. It felt like no amount of talking, rationalising was going to convince me I wasn't sick. I really believe something chemical needed sorting in my brain and a year and a half of medication pulled me right out of everything and I'm fine since. I was anxious to stop the medication as soon as it was safe to (without risk of relapse) and that was 3 years ago.

I'm not saying medication is for you or that you have underlying depression, but maybe think about all options available to you and try them all so you give yourself the chance to feel better. It's just an awful thing to be going through but you will get better!! Good luck!!

Shrap

It certainly sounds like something that's having a huge negative effect on you and your relationship OP. You seem really open to the idea of talking about it (which is great) and I'm sure counselling would be a big help. I don't know anything about CBT myself, and it's not the only kind of psychology, but certainly look closely into the qualifications before you pick any counsellor. I'd say one that specifically deals with anxiety issues, accredited by someplace with a proper standard like the Clanwilliam Institute perhaps.

Hope you get some help here too - sorry, have to go to bed now, am wrecked - or I'd be interested to chat some more about it! Good luck.

aido-2006-

Hey jenggg, it's horrible isn't it.

You have no idea how much it helps hearing that someone else has experienced this and come out the other side intact because lately I've been feeling like there was no chance of that. I am depressed, it's all a bit of a haze and I can't figure out which came first - the anxiety or the depression but I know they are playing into each other. I'm going to take the plunge and speak to my GP and ask to be referred to someone who can help. I can't express enough how grateful I am for your input and for everyone else who has posted here.

Thanks!

Faith

Shrap wrote: »

It certainly sounds like something that's having a huge negative effect on you and your relationship OP. You seem really open to the idea of talking about it (which is great) and I'm sure counselling would be a big help. I don't know anything about CBT myself, and it's not the only kind of psychology, but certainly look closely into the qualifications before you pick any counsellor. I'd say one that specifically deals with anxiety issues, accredited by someplace with a proper standard like the Clanwilliam Institute perhaps.

Psychotherapy is unlikely to be the best approach for this, as it's generally not something that can be traced back to a specific event or will lead to an "Aha! That's why I'm like this!" moment. CBT helps you to understand how your problems, thoughts, feelings and behaviour affect each other, and it works to weed out maladaptive thought patterns and correct them. It's the most direct and effective treatment for anxiety disorders, and the OP would be best served by seeking a CBT-qualified therapist. OP, if you speak to your GP, they can refer you in the right direction.

You're right in identifying the importance of qualifications though. Unfortunately any fool can put up a sign proclaiming themselves to be counsellors, because it's not a protected title in Ireland, but they may have no qualifications at all and may do more harm than good.