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Comment from teacher

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  • 19-02-2015 2:49pm
    #1
    eman66
    Closed Accounts Posts: 602 ✭✭✭


    My nine-year-old, who has an ASD, came home from school yesterday upset. He has an SNA, and 40 minutes per day with a resource teacher.

    When he went back to class from the resource teacher's room yesterday he asked about Golden Time which they were due to have that day. They normally arrange things so he doesn't miss it. I'm not sure of the conversation that followed but in the end the teacher said to his SNA "His whole life is golden time". He said the class laughed at this.

    I think it's hard enough for him to live with his condition without this sort of attitude from his teacher.

    Should I go in and say something or let it go in case she reacts is some way negatively towards him.


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    #2
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    It seems you've already decided that the teacher has an attitude?

    If you are not sure of the full conversation, then maybe find out what the full one was before you go in with guns blazing. Out of context it might have a very different meaning from the one it was intended to have.


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    #3
    ch750536
    Registered Users Posts: 3,736 ✭✭✭ch750536


    Sounds to me like a compliment.


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    #4
    Moonbeam
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,953 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    I would speak to the SNA,they were there and would know the general attitude.
    It could have been meant in a nice way or just as a comment.
    Play it down to your son.


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    #5
    Redser87
    Registered Users Posts: 610 ✭✭✭Redser87


    I know some teachers take the approach that they don't do Golden Time at all, ever, because it suggests that the rest of childhood is somehow less than golden. They prefer other reward systems. This obviously isn't the case here because they have had it before, but it could just be a case of semantics. I agree with playing it down to your son. I don't really want to advise not knowing the rest of the wider context, but I hope it works out for you.


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    #6
    lolosaur
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 433 ✭✭lolosaur


    What is the childs ASD please?


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    #7
    January
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,865 ✭✭✭✭January


    lolosaur wrote: »
    What is the childs ASD please?

    I'm not sure that matters at all lolosaur.


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    #8
    highly1111
    Registered Users Posts: 967 ✭✭✭highly1111


    I think this is been blown way out of proportion. She probably meant that childhood is golden time. I'd put my mortgage on it been a general comment rather than specific to your son. I would take it as compliment as he's obviously well loved and minded. I wouldn't be approaching the teacher at all.


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    #9
    heldel00
    Registered Users Posts: 1,832 ✭✭✭heldel00


    Have often used this phrase "if you don't believe half of what you hear about me, I won't believe half of what I hear about you!"

    If your child is happy and content at school then I would let this go. If similar reoccurs then you could have a conversation with teacher.

    (Can I just give you a quick example of things being taken out of context - years ago I said to a child, "you're a man and a half." Next day his mam came storming in ready to kill me because her son had told her I said "you're a half a man.")


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    #10
    Greenmachine
    Registered Users Posts: 5,063 ✭✭✭Greenmachine


    What is Golden time?


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    #11
    January
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,865 ✭✭✭✭January


    Greenmachine wrote: »
    What is Golden time?

    Basically free play or the child can bring a toy from home to play with during Golden Time.


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    #12
    lolosaur
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 433 ✭✭lolosaur


    January wrote: »
    I'm not sure that matters at all lolosaur.

    It matters due to the entire context of the thread.


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    #13
    January
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,865 ✭✭✭✭January


    lolosaur wrote: »
    It matters due to the entire context of the thread.

    How? The OP stated the child is on the spectrum, why does it matter where on the spectrum the child is?

    Is it in case the child picked the teacher up wrong? Any child could do that.


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    #14
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    It's completely unprofessional to make a snide comment to another adult in front of the child. The correct way to do this is with a frozen face ventriloquist style at the back of assembly.
    I think if you do choose to raise it with the teacher give her a face saving 'out' such as 'I'm sure I don't have the full story but he seems to have taken it that he was being put down in front of everyone' and some 'I really appreciate everything you all do for him' - because I share your fear of getting a teacher/minder's back up.


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    #15
    Rose35
    Registered Users Posts: 566 ✭✭✭Rose35


    Your child was obviously upset when he came home, and he referenced the fact that the
    class laughed aswell so I would definitely have a word with the teacher, did she not notice he was upset after said
    comment, good luck and hope he is ok poor little man


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    #16
    Miaireland
    Registered Users Posts: 4,063 ✭✭✭Miaireland


    I wouldn't go in all guns blazing but just pop in and say that he came home upset and that he felt the class was laughing at him and that you are wondering did something happen.


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    #17
    byhookorbycrook
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Regional South East Moderators Posts: 12,481 Mod ✭✭✭✭byhookorbycrook


    I wouldn't suggest talking to the SNA, if there is an issue-perceived or otherwise- with the teacher. Context is important here, some children on the spectrum don't understand the nuances of tone/facial expression and the comment, if it was as exactly as reported might have been a bit of harmless banter.

    I would be certain I may have made comments to children in my class who wanted to play games every single day along the lines of "sure every day is a game in this room " or similar.

    I'd make an appointment with the teacher, rather than just land unannounced, when the teacher has a class or meetings or whatever.


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    #18
    lolosaur
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 433 ✭✭lolosaur


    January wrote: »
    How? The OP stated the child is on the spectrum, why does it matter where on the spectrum the child is?

    Is it in case the child picked the teacher up wrong? Any child could do that.

    Becaise the spectrum of autism ranges from 1 to 100%. Because i need to gauge if the parent is the offended pc type or if she understamds the autistic spectrum and if she is giving out for the sake of giving out or if she is genuimely in her right to be perturbed. Is she offrnded by the teachers remarks. WAs the chikd offemded. Was the teaching aid assigned to the child offended amd why didnt they bring it up. Has the child been misdiagnosed as autistic. Many many many questions in which im not sure, as a fully qualified person do deal with autism, i think you as a moderator would fully understand to be honest. Thoughts. Traits. Psychoanalystic behavioural attitude. All good but if its not your area of expertise i think you should bow a bit to the benifit of the doubt please and thank you.


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    #19
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    lolosaur wrote: »
    Becaise the spectrum of autism ranges from 1 to 100%. Because i need to gauge if the parent is the offended pc type or if she understamds the autistic spectrum and if she is giving out for the sake of giving out or if she is genuimely in her right to be perturbed. Is she offrnded by the teachers remarks. WAs the chikd offemded. Was the teaching aid assigned to the child offended amd why didnt they bring it up. Has the child been misdiagnosed as autistic. Many many many questions in which im not sure, as a fully qualified person do deal with autism, i think you as a moderator would fully understand to be honest. Thoughts. Traits. Psychoanalystic behavioural attitude. All good but if its not your area of expertise i think you should bow a bit to the benifit of the doubt please and thank you.

    Mod:
    We don't allow medical advice or permit posters to offer their 'expert' opinion on boards which, by your fishing of the op for information, you appear to be on the brink of offering. Infractions will be handed out for posters who do this.

    This is a forum for parents to discuss parenting an ASD child. Not a forum for amateur cyberdiagnosis.


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    #20
    lolosaur
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 433 ✭✭lolosaur


    Neyite wrote: »
    Mod:
    We don't allow medical advice or permit posters to offer their 'expert' opinion on boards which, by your fishing of the op for information, you appear to be on the brink of offering. Infractions will be handed out for posters who do this.

    This is a forum for parents to discuss parenting an ASD child. Not a forum for amateur cyberdiagnosis.



    How can I discuss an ASD child if I don't know what the ASD is. Am I really having this conversation. If this was McDonalds, I'd ask to speak to your manager for being so rude. Good day sir.


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    #21
    Smidge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,541 ✭✭✭Smidge


    I think what's important here is that your child was upset by the children laughing at the comment the teacher made. The child felt the joke was at his expense by the person in charge ie the teacher.
    A comment like this to a neurotypical child may just that, a simple comment.
    To an asd child that may not have understood the comment but most certainly understood the other children laughing at him, well that might just need for you to have a chat with the teacher(in a pleasant manner of course)about your childs abilities and comprehensions of social situations.
    And it also gives you a chance to talk to your child about this type of thing. It will come up again and again over the years so as much as you can talk to others about their behaviour with your child at the end of the day, ASD people have to live in a neurotypical world and we have to help them do that as best as we can :)


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