Miserable at work

tellmemoro

Hi

I work for a government dept and am having a horrible time at work. I know that I should be thankful that I have a job and I am.

I am a manager in a role where there are a number of staff of the same grade working together . One of my colleagues who is the same grade is extremely underhand and has the ear of the boss with whom there is a long workplace history. There is constant sniping and shows of superiority but in a very subtle manner. I am at the stage where I am dreading going to work (I have always loved my job) and having trouble sleeping/coping. I'm not the only target. There is no point complaining as the boss will dismiss any reports as baseless as they go back so far and the notion that the sun shines out this person's backside.

I have queried a transfer with HR and have been advised that transfers are not priority and that the mobility policy will take precedence this year although they couldn't confirm when. They also suggested a head to head transfer. I'm not sure I can continue working in this environment. Any advice on this matter would be appreciated.
Thanks

Irish_Elect_Eng

tellmemoro wrote: »

Hi

One of my colleagues who is the same grade is extremely underhand and has the ear of the boss with whom there is a long workplace history. There is constant sniping and shows of superiority but in a very subtle manner.

What you mention above seems to be simple office politics. While never pleasant and sometimes destructive, it is present to some extent in most working environments where there is competition for promotion or resources.

Can you provide us with some more details, on what exactly is happening and how it impacts your and your team and we could then provide some more targeted constructive advice.

Also, does the colleague in question report to you or are they a peer?

Kristopherus

If the others who are being sniped at are willing, could you all not approach this guy and ask him to lay off. If he goes to his boss,and boss does nothing, all of you should make a written complaint to the top maneger in the place, and send a copy to the HR manager. Bullies should be put in their place at the earliest opportunity.

tellmemoro

Thanks for the replies. I know that there is an element of office politics in it but am so sick of being treated like an idiot by someone who is at the same level (in the staff hierarchy) as me. there is a long history between this individual and the boss, they have worked together on more than one occasion over the years. So approaching him is pointless, I have tried but he can see no wrong. This person is extremely subtle in approach, wants to be involved in everything but takes great pleasure in excluding and pointing out errors/omissions of others. I have on more than one occasion been told of changes to my work practices by this person before they have been officially advised to me. The dynamics in the office are toxic. The likelihood of Promotion does not play a part in this at all. I don't get the motivation behind the approach at all other than maybe the opinion of senior management. I am at the stage where I dread going to work as I'm wondering what failings will be pointed out or who will be getting the knowing 'I told you so' look over the floor. I have always loved andexcelled at my job and have had the respect of colleagues and superiors. Now I am plagued by self doubt and constantly second guessing myself.  Thanks again

Irish_Elect_Eng

Firstly:

"This person is extremely subtle in approach, wants to be involved in everything but takes great pleasure in excluding and pointing out errors/omissions of others. I have on more than one occasion been told of changes to my work practices by this person before they have been officially advised to me. The dynamics in the office are toxic"

I understand that you feel undermined by this peer, but you are not giving us much to go on, this person seems to be you bosses confidant/successor and your boss is sharing information with him-her that you are not privy to, until your peer shares it with you. Are they using their relationship with the boss to wind you up by using this information as power or are they maliciously damaging your relationship with your boss by what they are doing/saying?

How exactly are they creating a toxic atmosphere?
Are there other peers at the same level? How does this person treat them, are they picking you out in particular or are they behaving like this with everyone.

Secondly:

"I have always loved and excelled at my job and have had the respect of colleagues and superiors. "

You say that you loved your job, can you tell us what exactly changed in the workplace to change that? Was it the promotion/arrival of this colleague, or did you get promoted?

Rantan

easier said than done... but... you need to focus on your work and not the environment,

you seem to be completely absorbed with whats going on around you to the point where you can't function properly.

I don't know you or the situation, so this introspection could be due to your own self esteem right now or else a genuinely toxic work place.

from personal experience, I find that when I have self belief and work with confidence, day to day issues don't matter as much. You sound like someone who has respect for your own role and has experience and skill so don't let other stuff going on around you drag you down. I tend to get very paranoid and "obsessive" when my confidence is low and everything I do is wrong and everyone else is out to get me.
Don't let yourself react to the people who are winding you up..instead engage with them in a positive way. They probably see a moody person looking back at them and don't have the skills to handle the situation so its up to you to manage these relationships on your own terms. Be positive, be active and stop obsessing on the negatives, try and remember the good things about your job, remind yourself of the parts of the job you are really good at, what are your strong points, what did you do really well recently? trust me there will be examples, you just need to be honest with yourself to find them

good luck

delthedriver

Rantan wrote: »

easier said than done... but... you need to focus on your work and not the environment,

you seem to be completely absorbed with whats going on around you to the point where you can't function properly.

I don't know you or the situation, so this introspection could be due to your own self esteem right now or else a genuinely toxic work place.

from personal experience, I find that when I have self belief and work with confidence, day to day issues don't matter as much. You sound like someone who has respect for your own role and has experience and skill so don't let other stuff going on around you drag you down. I tend to get very paranoid and "obsessive" when my confidence is low and everything I do is wrong and everyone else is out to get me.
Don't let yourself react to the people who are winding you up..instead engage with them in a positive way. They probably see a moody person looking back at them and don't have the skills to handle the situation so its up to you to manage these relationships on your own terms. Be positive, be active and stop obsessing on the negatives, try and remember the good things about your job, remind yourself of the parts of the job you are really good at, what are your strong points, what did you do really well recently? trust me there will be examples, you just need to be honest with yourself to find them

good luck

Believe in yourself !!!!

You are obviously good at your job or you would not be in your present role..

Continue to excel at your job and fcuk the begrudgers!!:)

Mrs OBumble

Rantan wrote: »

easier said than done... but... you need to focus on your work and not the environment

I'd give just the opposite advice: you say that you are a manager, and in that case, the environment is your main concern. A manager's job is to achieve things through other people, and the way to do that is to facilitate the environment for them.

Some practical pointers for you, OP:

First advice: you say you now have trouble sleeping/coping - so go to your doctor and tell them. It may be due to the job, or these could be symptoms of an underlying health issue. They will likely either find/treat this - or at least give you a couple of weeks sick leave to clear your head.

Next - what's a head-to-head transfer and how can you make one happen? I have no idea (and don't need to know), but if HR are suggesting it as an option, you should investigate.

Lastly - what higher level managers to do you have a relationship with? What can you do to get one of them want to have you come and work for them, perhaps in the same way that your troublesome colleague works for your current manager. If you don't have any such relationships, start thinking about how you can build some. Once you get to management level, who you know is as important as what you know and how well you can do it. You need to manage your own relationships so that work works well for you.

CryWolf

Hi,

I also work for a government department and am being harrassed by my AP because I complained that a previous Supervisor was expecting a stat I could not achieve and constantly on my back. I have gone to the union and this has been going on for a while now I am waiting for some feedback/help from the union but so far not so good. I have ended up with a rating of '2' and now have it sent to be appealed. I feel I am being set up to be sacked a lot of sour grapes over this situation I feel and I think the new Supervisor has been told I am a troublemaker. Its going to be interesting what happens! Obviously don't complain is what I am getting from the situation but what else are we supposed to do!

MarkAnthony

Make sure you raise the grievance through the proper channels. If there is then harassment file another grievance.

You're always better off trying to deal with things informally but if that doesn't work the official procedure is the only option remaining unfortunately.

Rantan

Do any of your colleagues have difficulties
with the stat you are expected to produce? Can u compare your tasks with peers or people at same grade or level?
be careful about what you 'feel' and "think' coz sometimes emotions can cloud your judgement.
should you focus on trying to achieve the stat instead, and explain to your boss that you have trouble with it? If it is something that you are not trained to do then they will have to provide adequate training for you.

CryWolf wrote: »

Hi,

I also work for a government department and am being harrassed by my AP because I complained that a previous Supervisor was expecting a stat I could not achieve and constantly on my back. I have gone to the union and this has been going on for a while now I am waiting for some feedback/help from the union but so far not so good. I have ended up with a rating of '2' and now have it sent to be appealed. I feel I am being set up to be sacked a lot of sour grapes over this situation I feel and I think the new Supervisor has been told I am a troublemaker. Its going to be interesting what happens! Obviously don't complain is what I am getting from the situation but what else are we supposed to do!

CryWolf

Hi,

First and foremost thanks for your replys nice to know there is help out there. In relation to the stat I already spoke to a colleague doing the same work as me and my colleague stated that the stat I had been given was unreachable simply because there are other interruptions such as phonecalls and the like during the day. I believe that I was continuously reaching a fair good stat(which leads me to believe because I complained I am the baddy) and will be punished.

When you say grievance do I want to start that I dunno. Still believe (maybe foolishly but I have it logged through Outlook that I was doing good actually but this is not a stat tool that management uses). Am seriously determined to defend myself guys am I wrong?

CryWolf

Hi,

First and foremost thanks for your replys nice to know there is help out there. In relation to the stat I already spoke to a colleague doing the same work as me and my colleague stated that the stat I had been given was unreachable simply because there are other interruptions such as phonecalls and the like during the day. I believe that I was continuously reaching a fair good stat(which leads me to believe because I complained I am the baddy) and will be punished.

When you say grievance do I want to start that I dunno. Still believe (maybe foolishly but I have it logged through Outlook that I was doing good actually but this is not a stat tool that management uses). Am seriously determined to defend myself guys am I wrong?

John Mason

I was in a similar situation last year.

3 of us team up together, and bought a case to the Union. This made matters worse in the short-term with all 3 of us being signed off with stress from our own doctors with the company doctors agreeing that the current work practices were causing undue stress.

The AP was lying about everything that happened. Eventually, we gave up on the Union and hired a solicitor. Everything was sorted within 2 weeks, AP was moved and we were given written assurances that we would never have to deal with them again.

OP, see if you can find other members to back you up and take a case to the union. Record everything

delthedriver

CryWolf wrote: »

Hi,

First and foremost thanks for your replys nice to know there is help out there. In relation to the stat I already spoke to a colleague doing the same work as me and my colleague stated that the stat I had been given was unreachable simply because there are other interruptions such as phonecalls and the like during the day. I believe that I was continuously reaching a fair good stat(which leads me to believe because I complained I am the baddy) and will be punished.

When you say grievance do I want to start that I dunno. Still believe (maybe foolishly but I have it logged through Outlook that I was doing good actually but this is not a stat tool that management uses). Am seriously determined to defend myself guys am I wrong?

Fight your corner, otherwise you will get ground down by people above you. There are excellent Employment Law Specialists who you may consult. Take great care of yourself.:)