Work guy. What to do!!

LegacyUser

Long story short, I hooked up with a guy I work with after a work dinner in December.
A week later we found ourselves working a similar schedule in the office, he asked me out for a drink just as we were leaving and we ended up together again.
Since then we’ve both had different work assignments so haven’t really seen much of each other, but any time we’ve both been around he’ll stop by for a chat etc. On Friday we were on the same project again and he came over a few times for a chat as usual, smiles at me a lot, goes out of his way to help with things, comes over any time he sees me, that kind of thing.
I feel like he might sort of like me but as with all these things, worried I might be way off the mark / he’s regretting it because of the awkwardness of working together / might be seeing someone else at this stage!
if he liked me surely he’d have asked me out by now?
I guess just looking for advice on how to proceed as I really like the guy and look forward to seeing him every week….but a bit shy and hesitant about doing anything!

Riskymove

thisguyatwork wrote: »

….but a bit shy and hesitant about doing anything!

OP we see these things all the time on these threads

the reality is he is possibly exactly the same as you and is hesitant to ask and happy to just see what happens each time you are in each others company

just ask him out if you are interested

ManOfMystery

One late December I hooked up with a girl I work with, at a work dinner of course. Shortly after Xmas I asked her out for a drink, and we ended up together again. We work for the same company (albeit different depts) so didn't spend much time together in work, but would always chat when we seen each other, etc.

I had exactly the same concerns as you are having now. Wasn't sure if it would be awkward, go anywhere, etc. We've now been married almost 3yrs, with a lovely 18mth old boy.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You say if he was interested he would just ask you out - he already did! You went for a drink together, did you not? All the signs are there that he likes you. Just grab the bull by the horns and ask him out, in this day and age it doesn't have to be left to the man to do it.

beks101

^^^ Love this

I'd say flirt with the guy more, try to get him on his own and do the very same in terms of stopping by for chats, etc.

Would you be in a position to go on a coffee run together? Stop by his desk when he's not busy or send him an email asking if he'd like to grab a coffee etc? Might be easier then once you're outside of the office to broach things about meeting up. I'd say to be honest that's been his reluctance - the awkwardness of the office environment.

A couple of colleagues of mine got together at work a few years back and this seemed to be how it panned out - he'd always stop by for a chat when he was passing her desk, she'd reciprocate, they'd disappear for coffee together or go for lunch together etc. They're engaged now

Chucky the tree

Just ask him out for a drink some time.

MagicMarker

Ah here, you've hooked up twice and he's constantly coming over to chat to you in work. WTF do you want? A neon sign!?!?!

JAMES VI

Neon sign would be pretty cool in fairness.

LegacyUser

Thank you all for the positive advice!!

Well an update...I went into work on Wednesday evening to tie up a few loose ends before a work trip and he was sitting there on his own as I walked in.
We made the usual small talk and my computer broke down so i actually ended up sitting right beside him but nothing happened outside of the small talk about my work trip, him course work (he's doing a Masters outside of work), work stuff, his birthday next week etc.
Honestly it was just a bit awkward and a part of me was like "just ask him now" but then the awkwardness would take over and i literally could not get the words out. Too bloody scary! I've just been in this situation before with an ex who I asked out and he went along with it despite not really being into me and I ended up getting hurt and i can't go through that again...especially with someone I work with!
When I got up to leave more small talk, "happy birthday if I don't see you next week", "yeah, enjoy the work trip!" and then he came over and gave me a hug! It felt a bit out of nowhere and weird...but that was that.
I'm now away from the office for the next week or so and it could be weeks before i see him again...and even at that it will be when other colleagues are around. So i'm just thinking i should let this one go...he's clearly not going to make any move and i clearly don't have the balls to!!!

Ugh. Frustrating. I really really fancy this guy. Anyway.

Merkin

Tell him you'd like to buy him a birthday drink. Really sounds like it's a case of now or never at this stage!

December2012

Honestly, you're oblivious! He gave you a hug and yet you're sating he didn't make a move?

He. Made. A. Move.

The hug was a move.

Text or ring him and see if he would like to go for a coffee or a drink or lunch or something! You can say it's to celebrate his birthday if you don't want to be too vulnerable about asking him on a date.

Stinjy

Do it, Do it, Do it!!!

The signs are there, though I'm fully aware of how difficult it is! I've done it (or something similar) except I risked loosing a really, really good fried over it... If he's interested YAY! If somehow you've got wires crossed (which I don't think you have) and he's a good guy nothing more will be made of it... My motivation was how will you feel if some other girl gets him first and you never got to give a relationship a chance! You'd be regretting it for a long time...

TL;DR Go for it!

oh and best of luck

LegacyUser

An update

I went out to an impromptu work drinks thing last night and he came along a few hours later. We got very drunk and he ended up coming home with me, where we hung out and chatted for a while and then fell asleep together. He was a perfect gentleman and we didn't have sex but lots of kissing and cuddling and affection.

Then today we spent the whole day together, went for food, then drinks, then coffee and he invited me to his birthday drinks on Saturday, which I hopefully will be able to get to after work. I spent the day smiling and laughing, the guy really is just amazing and such great company and the chemistry is just perfect.

I don't know where things will go from here but we exchanged numbers and hopefully I'll see a bit more of him in the next little while. I think he likes me and I definitely like him, very smitten

Thank you all so much for the advice and the support!

stop animal cruelty

awww hope it works out