Ignored a person in distress, am I am awful person

LegacyUser

I live in an area of Dublin which doesn't have the best of names but I think it's ok and most people are fine.

I work long hours and after getting the bus home I was walking to my local Spar to buy food. There often are kids hanging around but they're fine, never bother me. There is a bookies, some takeaways and a pub and people do be standing outside smoking but there's no issues at all

Outside the shop a guy was lying on the footpath with his back to the wall and two women standing over him. I just assumed he was drunk. The footpath is narrow and himself and the two women had blocked the footpath so instead of stepping off around him I stepped him over him. The women weren't alarmed or panicked, they just stood by him and talked among themselves.

In my mind I just figured he was drunk and possibly I had no sympathy as I was after working a 12 hour day.

While I was in the shops an ambulance arrived and took him away. And it hit me, a guy was lying on the ground needing ambulance attention and not only did I ignore him I stepped over him.

I just figured he was drunk and realy I didn't care at the time. If he was lying there without the two women minding him I think I would have ignored him too.

Am I an uncaring selfish person?

Tokyo

You didn't ignore him - you assessed the situation incorrectly, and there's a world of difference between the two. You went to take a look, and partially due to the fact that there were other people around who were unconcerned, assumed (wrongly but understandably) that the person was drunk on the ground, and went about your business. There's a big difference between what you did, and stepping over the body of somebody bleeding out on the pavement to you can get your shopping done. So no, you're not ignorant and uncaring - you were mistaken in your assessment of the situation - that's all.

It's easy look back on situations like this and beat yourself up over what you could have done differently - that's human nature. Ultimately, what you did or didn't do would have made no difference - an ambulance had already been in route, and the person was not in immediate danger. Take it for what it is, a lesson for the future to not always assume the obvious in these situations, so should it or similar happen again, you may be that one passer-by who thinks outside the box for a minute, and calls an ambulance.

Chucky the tree

One incident doesn't define what a person is like. A few incidents probably get closer to the truth though. If you learn and lesson from this and do something when you see someone in a similar situation then you'll be doing a lot more than you're average person would. Make sure you use your regret as a positive, rather than a negative.

miamee

You are not an awful, uncarinng person. There were already two people looking after him, he didn't need an audience whatever was wrong. There is also the possibility that he was actually drunk, so badly that an ambulance had to be called to take care of him.

You didn't leave someone alone in distress or lost or in pain. The fact you are worried about it probably means next time you will stop to help or at least assess the situation a bit differently. Don't beat yourself up about it

Miaireland

miamee wrote: »

You are not an awful, uncarinng person. There were already two people looking after him, he didn't need an audience whatever was wrong. There is also the possibility that he was actually drunk, so badly that an ambulance had to be called to take care of him.

You didn't leave someone alone in distress or lost or in pain. The fact you are worried about it probably means next time you will stop to help or at least assess the situation a bit differently. Don't beat yourself up about it

I second everything Miamee said.

jimmycrackcorm

If there were already two people attending to him then there was no point you or anyone else adding to the bystanders unless you could be in a position to help.

Sterling over him instead of going around even if it meant going on the road looks rude though.

beks101

Yeah stepping over someone = not cool. That was a human being lying on the footpath, not some dying insect or something.

That's the only fault I can find in your behaviour. "Bystander's syndrome" is a very common thing. I live in London and I swear you could be dying in the middle of Trafalgar Square and people would step over your body and get on with their day. A mixture of denial or incorrect assessment of the situation along with doubting their own capability to help along with 'other people will help' along with the general tendency to mind one's business and get on with your day. Very common.

The fact that you have these feelings now might mean you'll be more inclined to act when you find yourself in a similar situation again. My advice to you would be to do just that - act next time. Be that person who stops and helps, regardless of your own hesitance or self doubt. The world needs more people who stop and help.

Bill Carson

You're not a bad person but did you really have to step over him?!

retro:electro

It doesn't make you a bad person no because you feel bad about it and you know it was wrong. However, even if he was drunk/homeless it still wouldnt have been right to step over him, so I don't really get how this moral epiphany happened only when you realised he was injured; it's not right to do in any circumstance.

power pants

Yes, stepping over was not ideal but at the same time, you didn't stand on him. Maybe he was blocking up a busy street and you had no other choice. he wouldn't have know either way.

TheBeardedLady

Ah here, OP! Things are not so black and white! You're an awful person compared to what? I know you don't really believe that and you're just going through the motions - been there, bought many a t-shirt. Move on and act differently next time.

Rubberchikken

If you were uncaring you wouldn't remember it after, and you woukdn't be posting about it.

You sound like a kind person who just didn't and couldn't have known what was happening.