Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Trick situation

  • 11-02-2015 5:30pm
    #1
    Wacker The Attacker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,473 ✭✭✭Wacker The Attacker


    I recently started a college course. There's a girl on it that I really like and I would very much like to ask out. However, I suspect that she may be gay or bisexual. I only know her a couple of weeks and cant be 100% either way. Other than ask her straight out is there any way to broach the subject more subtly.


Comments

  • #2
    Addle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,817 ✭✭✭Addle


    You just ask her out, not her sexual orientation.


  • #3
    Wacker The Attacker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,473 ✭✭✭Wacker The Attacker


    Wont there come a time when the nettle has to be grasped so speak


  • #4
    Addle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,817 ✭✭✭Addle


    Wacker The Attacker wrote: »
    Wont there come a time when the nettle has to be grasped so speak

    Not if she's not attracted to you.


  • #5
    Tokyo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,656 ✭✭✭✭Tokyo


    Ask her out. If she's not interested, she'll let you know. Be it because she doesn't see you in that light, or she doesn't see all men in that light, it doesn't really matter.


  • #6
    Shrap
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,163 ✭✭✭Shrap


    Wacker The Attacker wrote: »
    Wont there come a time when the nettle has to be grasped so speak

    Not really. You don't have to find out if she's gay, straight or bi at all - just ask because you're interested! That's the only reason you're asking, and because you know that potentially she's not interested (like with any woman) you will be prepared to take the result on board, right?! I've been asked out by a few gay women in my youth and had to turn them down - getting turned down is not the sole preserve of straight people! You won't know until you try....


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    Lovely Bloke
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,748 ✭✭✭✭Lovely Bloke


    yeah, ask her, she'll either say yes or no.

    If she says yes, then grand, she wants to go out with you.

    If she says no, it's not really your business why she says no, but you can be sure it's because she isn't interested in you, and that's all that really matters.


  • #8
    Merkin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,230 ✭✭✭Merkin


    Surely her sexuality is incidental if she's not interested? I think you're putting the cart before the horse here. Ask her out on a date and if she says yes then great and if she says no then she doesn't want to go out with you, regardless of her sexual preferences. Just ask her out.


  • #9
    Wacker The Attacker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,473 ✭✭✭Wacker The Attacker


    Addle wrote: »
    Not if she's not attracted to you.

    Thats true but the question still needs to be asked


  • #10
    Boone Enough Headboard
    Posts: 0 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Boone Enough Headboard


    No, it doesn't
    Either she wants to go out with you or she doesn't
    Just ask her out


  • #11
    Bill Carson
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 11 ✭Bill Carson


    Don't ask her out, that's really lame imo. Plus if she says no it will be really embarrassing and awkward for both of you.

    Do you hang out together much? Try to gauge if she likes you. Does she laugh at your jokes? play with her hair? Touch you when she talks to you? Read up on body language on line.

    So I recommend you wait until you're in a pub or club and if the night is going well, make a move. Don't worry if she's gay or whatever. If she is just laugh it off and say 'that's ok, I like girls too'. Most importantly, if you don't get with her, move on, there's millions of them out there.


  • Advertisement
  • #12
    ShowMeTheCash
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,651 ✭✭✭ShowMeTheCash


    Bill Carson wrote: »
    Don't ask her out, that's really lame imo. Plus if she says no it will be really embarrassing and awkward for both of you.

    Do you hang out together much? Try to gauge if she likes you. Does she laugh at your jokes? play with her hair? Touch you when she talks to you? Read up on body language on line.

    So I recommend you wait until you're in a pub or club and if the night is going well, make a move. Don't worry if she's gay or whatever. If she is just laugh it off and say 'that's ok, I like girls too'. Most importantly, if you don't get with her, move on, there's millions of them out there.

    Personally I see this as bad advice "Procrastination is the thief of time!"
    Also this is not a teen movie!

    You do not need to directly ask her out you could say something like "Me and a few other are going to ..... later or tomorrow or whenever, you should come too.
    If she is says "Yeah I might go" say "sure here is my number texted me if you are heading down"
    If she says no not my thing, follow up with "well sure if you change your mind let me know" again you can give her your number.

    If she is interested in you, she will let you know also you are straddling the I am interested in you as a friend or perhaps interested in you romanitcally fence...

    Gives you time to get to know her and her you!


Advertisement