Will I ever have any close friends?

LegacyUser

Hi all,
I am nearly 30, and I have come to the realization that I have no friends. Essentially, my life at the moment consists of the following routine; wake up, (go to the gym maybe), go to work where I really do not interact with many people (small office with one other person), go home, watch some T.V., bed- repeat. I had a few friends in college and I even stayed in close contact with two of them, but with time passing, all of them in relationships and the distance between us all, the only contact we have had in the last year or two has been an occasional phonecall. I feel so desperately lonely so much of the time. I have holidays coming to me in work and would love to travel, but am despondent in that there is no one I can ask to share the experience with. When I hear of someone calling over to a freinds house, or some buddies going to a match together, it seems so simple, but something I don't have. I would love to have a friend or two to see on a regular basis. Being nearly 30 though, is it still ever possible to make a close friend, or are an friends made at this age only ever going to be nothing more than a casual acquaintance?

Rubberchikken

it's always possible to make friends it just takes effort.
you don't say what age group the person in your office is, but start practicing there. you don't need to build it into anything big, just chat, ask questions, see if they want to go for a drink/coffee after work.

would you consider a singles holiday. plenty of people for company and the opportunity to make friends. ok you might think temporary friends, but it's a start and who knows where it might lead.

we have to be brave, i think, and take a chance. don't let fear stop you. best of luck

ziedth

I think you can do like safari/ adventure holidays in south Africa with a group and allot of people do it on their own. A mate of mine went on his own and said there were loads of other people the same.

I do feel for you, I've had the same group of close friends for 10 years give or take and if they all disappeared in the morning I'd literally not know Where to begin.

My only advice would be boards for one. If your in Dublin there are "beers nights" the whole time and I met some sound lads through the Waterford forum over the years. After that try and gain an interest in anything and do a class, sport, social group and just get talking to people. You seem to have evenings weekends free so your laughing that you don't have shift work to deal with.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

There are a lot of singles holidays out there these days so you really should give some of those a try. Just google holidays for single or solo travellers and you should get some ideas.

It will take courage at the start to go on one but just think, everybody else is in the same boat. Best of luck!

whiskeyman

Is there any chance you can move jobs?
You spend more hours of your waking life at work, so it should be a good place to interact with people.
Bigger companies have good sports and social nights and a great spread of people.
If you can financially do it, I'd highly recommend it.
Also, you mention the gym. Do you play any team sports at all?
There's a lot of social leagues for various sports that play evenings and weekends.
Look at joining a few.

Single holidays are also good ideas, but you need to focus on meeting people who you interact with on a more regular basis.

Matteroffact

Try meetup.com they have a lot of groups with different interests and I am sure you would find something you are interested in. You have to join clubs to meet people once your school days are over.

Katgurl

Sorry to read your post OP, loneliness is a horrible feeling.

There are good suggestions of things to do above. I don't really play any sports but a few years ago began salsa dancing after a breakup - such a cliche I know but I wanted to avoid having empty evenings. As an added bonus I made some really nice new friends. You fouls try an art or writing class or anything.

Also I just wanted to add as an extra encouragement - even people who have a wide circle of friends can feel isolated in their 30s it they're single as their friends could be settling down and not have much time. I've noticed this myself so don't be thinking you're on your own with this predicament. You'll make some friends and they will be thrilled to have some new company.

Birdsong

Hi

I had to respond, as I made my best & closest friends after my 30th birthday. I decided that year I was going to run the mini marathon & joined a running club. The people I met there were the friendliest, nicest people with no agenda other than helping me to run, and over time I have build up great friendships.

You do have to make an effort & have to change some thing because if you always do what you've been doing nothing will change.