Wife with depression

LegacyUser

Going unreged for this.

I have been with my wife for nearly 14 years. When we met she told me that she suffered from depression and was on medication for it. Her father suffered from it and her son from a previous relationship also suffers from it. I had to educate myself on what depression was all about. Over the years she would plunge into periods of being aggressive, sleepy, disinterested in things and I would subsequently find out that she wasn't taking her medication. As you can imagine, it caused problems in the marriage. Eventually she would apologise, go back on her meds and things returned to normal or as normal as they can be for a person suffering from depression. After the last emotional conversation we had, I thought we had finally cracked it and she would stay on her meds. The irony of this is that in our early days together, she would criticise my lack of understanding of depression and remind me that I was with a person who would be on medication for life.

I have recently found out that she hasn't been taking her meds for the past 8 months. The signs were there, but anytime I asked about the meds, she said all was okay. This issue with the meds takes the same course all the time. She stops taking them. Sinks lower. Can't seem to cope with things she normally copes with. Blames me. Realises she needs the meds. Goes back on them and improves. But this time she is refusing to go back on her meds saying that despite suffering from depression, she knows her on mind and body and doesn't need the meds. This a complete contradiction to what went before. She's now accusing me of deliberately trying to get her back on her meds to suit myself. This is not the case. In the past I have seen the woman I love cry in my arms because she knows she should be on them and admit that she just tries to see if she can cope without them. But she can't. I can see the changes in her when she stops taking the meds. She is adamant that she doesn't need meds anymore. Shes narky, tired and unable to cope with stuff we coped with before. All the elements I witnessed over the years are back, but this time she is claiming its okay. She told me that if she went to the GP, she would tell him that she doesn't want or need them.

She got a part time job late last year because she said she needed a break from being at home all the time. Great I thought. I helped her get it. But all she does is complain about it. The other staff. The customers. Being tired. She works two nights a week, but stays in bed untill 11am at least after each shift and is sleepy for most of the day anyway. So effectively 4 days are gone from our week. Im trying to be supportive as I always have been, but she is so irrational and negative about a lot of things. Everything is a drama.

I feel like giving up.

Big Bag of Chips

Is there anyway she would listen to a medical analogy? If she was asthmatic she'd be on inhalers for life. If she had high blood pressure/cholesterol etc she'd be on medication, and would be foolish to not take it.

She suffers from depression. There are things available to her to help manage it. She should use them.

It's very difficult living with someone with depression. It's even more difficult when they won't accept the help available to them.

Ave Sodalis

Is your wife making any other attempt to help her depression, outside of meds?