Get pregnant girlfriend back

W74255

My girlfriend broke up with me three weeks ago. She is 26 weeks pregnant. We rowed a bit towards the end because I've no job even though I want one. We have another baby together who is two and I take him every second weekend. She goes from one day being all talk to the next being distant and moody with me. She said she doesn't know how she feels about us being together. I stayed over the other night to see my son and shared our bed together, she gave me a hug going but no kisses or anything. She's just so cold and doesn't seem to care that she is hurting me. I'm distraught at the thought of losing her and my kids. I need advice from women out there on what they think she's thinking and how to get her back.

26 weeks pregnant, lots of hormones going on. If I were you I would support her as much as possible, don't take everything as gospel.
You have kids together. Do your best to make it work for your girlfriend and your kids.

W74255

[Deleted User] wrote: »

26 weeks pregnant, lots of hormones going on. If I were you I would support her as much as possible, don't take everything as gospel.
You have kids together. Do your best to make it work for your girlfriend and your kids.

I'm trying, I'm trying each day to get her back, I'm just messed in head at this stage with stress

amdublin

W74255 wrote: »

I'm trying, I'm trying each day to get her back, I'm just messed in head at this stage with stress

What is your field of work? Or your work experience history like?

What about if you focus each day on getting a job and demonstrating to her that you can ve a great dad/boyfriend and provider for your family? I wonder would that help towards helping you get back with her?

W74255

amdublin wrote: »

What is your field of work? Or your work experience history like?

What about if you focus each day on getting a job and demonstrating to her that you can ve a great dad/boyfriend and provider for your family? I wonder would that help towards helping you get back with her?

I've a Bachelor of Business in Human Resources. I've tried for jobs everywhere, from sales, recruitment, to sales assistants in shops. I really want a job.

Lux23

W74255 wrote: »

I've a Bachelor of Business in Human Resources. I've tried for jobs everywhere, from sales, recruitment, to sales assistants in shops. I really want a job.

Have you a had a job?

W74255

Lux23 wrote: »

Have you a had a job?

Ya I've had a job in sales, set up my own recruitment business which failed

ABajaninCork

Can you not offer your services as a freelance HR consultant?

Or the other alternative (which might not be too palatable) - How about trying for an HR position in the UK? Is this something your GF might be amenable to?

W74255

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Can you not offer your services as a freelance HR consultant?

Or the other alternative (which might not be too palatable) - How about trying for an HR position in the UK? Is this something your GF might be amenable to?

I'd do a job in anything at this stage, just to have a job. Anyway this question isn't about how to find a job, it's about my girlfriend and kids. I love her more than anything, and don't want to just be a part time dad to my kids, I want my family back

strandroad

W74255 wrote: »

I'd do a job in anything at this stage, just to have a job. Anyway this question isn't about how to find a job, it's about my girlfriend and kids. I love her more than anything, and don't want to just be a part time dad to my kids, I want my family back

A job is important, because with another child on the way your gf is probably craving stability, and who could blame her. Where are you based? I know folks in recruitment in Dublin and they get plenty of offers, it's definitely picking up...

W74255

mhge wrote: »

A job is important, because with another child on the way your gf is probably craving stability, and who could blame her. Where are you based? I know folks in recruitment in Dublin and they get plenty of offers, it's definitely picking up...

Dublin. I've tried jobs in recruitment but no offers

Pauly222

Firstly man I feel for you, your there, lots of guys would run, or not care But you wanna help and get loving again so fair play. Being unemployed should not be a deal breaker, you can still be a great person ( which I'm sure you are ) Without a job. Show her you care, buy her flowers, chocolates, write her love letters, be there for her should she need you but vitally give her space, again if she needs it. Sometimes we can try and try but we feel it gets us nowhere, in this case continue to be a great dad, move your social life up a gear and have fun, not so much date but have female friends and enjoy yourself. Fate is usually a great decider . Best of luck

ABajaninCork

W74255 wrote: »

I'd do a job in anything at this stage, just to have a job. Anyway this question isn't about how to find a job, it's about my girlfriend and kids. I love her more than anything, and don't want to just be a part time dad to my kids, I want my family back

Oh, but it is!! Don't you see that?? No money, two kids, hormones = stress. There's no stability at the moment which is adding to your girlfriend's unhappiness.

I agree getting a job isn't the be all and end all, but it would be a pretty good start. The baby is growing like a weed, and the new baby God Willing will follow suit. The kids will need clothes, food and shelter. There's people trying to juggle TWO jobs and kids who find it very hard going! How are you going to do that with no money??

You're living apart at the moment - Is that right?

I'd make finding a job a priority at the moment. When the job's secured, you can make moves to find somewhere for your family to live. When your GF sees that you're making an effort to support your kids, and provide a stable lifestyle for you all, then she might soften her stance. In any case, whether you get back together or not (I sincerely hope you do!), those children need to be supported financially as well as emotionally.

Have you discussed what you plan to do with her? I'd sit her down and talk calmly about what you want to do, and how you're going to do it. SHOW her you're trying to win her back.

Good luck!

W74255

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Oh, but it is!! Don't you see that?? No money, two kids, hormones = stress. There's no stability at the moment which is adding to your girlfriend's unhappiness.

I agree getting a job isn't the be all and end all, but it would be a pretty good start. The baby is growing like a weed, and the new baby God Willing will follow suit. The kids will need clothes, food and shelter. There's people trying to juggle TWO jobs and kids who find it very hard going! How are you going to do that with no money??

You're living apart at the moment - Is that right?

I'd make finding a job a priority at the moment. When the job's secured, you can make moves to find somewhere for your family to live. When your GF sees that you're making an effort to support your kids, and provide a stable lifestyle for you all, then she might soften her stance. In any case, whether you get back together or not (I sincerely hope you do!), those children need to be supported financially as well as emotionally.

Have you discussed what you plan to do with her? I'd sit her down and talk calmly about what you want to do, and how you're going to do it. SHOW her you're trying to win her back.

Good luck!

I'm not being lazy. I'm looking for a job everyday. I'd take any job as long as it pays the bills, I'm sick of having no job.

ABajaninCork

W74255 wrote: »

I'm not being lazy. I'm looking for a job everyday. I'd take any job as long as it pays the bills, I'm sick of having no job.

Nobody said that. We know you're trying. But does she? Have you discussed your plans??

W74255

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Nobody said that. We know you're trying. But does she? Have you discussed your plans??

She won't talk about things.

ABajaninCork

Sorry to say this. But do you think your girlfriend is feeling resentful about being pregnant again so soon?

I'd leave the water to settle for a bit - maybe a week or so. Give her some space, don't talk about getting back together for a while, and see how you both feel.

W74255

ABajaninCork wrote: »

Sorry to say this. But do you think your girlfriend is feeling resentful about being pregnant again so soon?

I'd leave the water to settle for a bit - maybe a week or so. Give her some space, don't talk about getting back together for a while, and see how you both feel.

I know how I feel. I love her more than anything. I miss her and my child. She can't manage as a single mother. I just need to get her to see it'll work if given another chance.

ABajaninCork

W74255 wrote: »

I know how I feel. I love her more than anything. I miss her and my child. She can't manage as a single mother. I just need to get her to see it'll work if given another chance.

This stood out to me more than anything else! What on earth makes you think she can't manage? Plenty of women manage just fine as a single mother. I should know - my mother was one! Not ideal, I agree, but entirely workable..

Give the poor girl some space, a chance to breathe and figure out what to do. Offer to take the baby for an afternoon/overnight and give her a break...

MouseTail

Of course she can manage as a single parent, she is doing so now! What can you bring to the table here, you need to show by actions as well as words that you can bring stability and emotional as well as financial resources to the family. This means contributing financially as well as practically in this period whilst she is sorting out what she wants.

bee06

ABajaninCork wrote: »

I'd leave the water to settle for a bit - maybe a week or so. Give her some space, don't talk about getting back together for a while, and see how you both feel.

Totally agree, putting pressure on her now about getting back together when she is already under a lot of stress is not going to win her back. It will probably push her away even more. Be there for her and your children, keep doing all the good work you're doing to find a job and let things evolve naturally.

LegacyUser

Hi OP

Actions always speak louder than words. Are you trying passively for a job or are you actively trying to change the circumstances? Ask yourself that.
I think if you can show your GF you have changed through actions she may reflect on her decisions.

Try volunteering work or charity work or help with sports club
something that makes you stand out for when you trying for other roles other than college and little experience. Get that fire in the belly, I'll show the world!!!!
Carpe Diem get out their doing.
Then you will change your own luck

December2012

its very simple -

Why did she break up with you?
What does she want you to do?

Hue.G rection

W74255 wrote: »

My girlfriend broke up with me three weeks ago. She is 26 weeks pregnant. We rowed a bit towards the end because I've no job even though I want one. We have another baby together who is two and I take him every second weekend. She goes from one day being all talk to the next being distant and moody with me. She said she doesn't know how she feels about us being together. I stayed over the other night to see my son and shared our bed together, she gave me a hug going but no kisses or anything. She's just so cold and doesn't seem to care that she is hurting me. I'm distraught at the thought of losing her and my kids. I need advice from women out there on what they think she's thinking and how to get her back.

I'm also pregnant and about as far along as your girlfriend. Speaking from my point of view I can totally see where your girlfriend is coming from. Lately in my pregnancy I have been craving stability and I'm constantly worrying about what's best for my baby! I need to be reasured that I have a partner that isn't going to land me and the baby in a worse off situation! She might be afraid to put responsibility in your hands in case it goes wrong! I understand that sometimes I over react due to the hormones and stuff! I find myself doing the same in my relationship and being all talk one day and moody the next and my reason for this is that I feel like I'm fighting a battle in my head, one day I'm telling myself everything will be ok and it'll all work it's self out! Fast forward to tomorrow and I could be freaking out with everything that still has to be done!

I'm probably not making much sense and my advice might be easier said than done! Actions do speak louder than words. She needs a man and you need to prove to her that you can do that! (Sorry if that's harsh). I'd say give her as much support and reassurance as you can and prove to her everything will be ok. It's obvious that you're mad about her and your family so I'm sure she sees that already!

W74255

Hue.G rection wrote: »

I'm also pregnant and about as far along as your girlfriend. Speaking from my point of view I can totally see where your girlfriend is coming from. Lately in my pregnancy I have been craving stability and I'm constantly worrying about what's best for my baby! I need to be reasured that I have a partner that isn't going to land me and the baby in a worse off situation! She might be afraid to put responsibility in your hands in case it goes wrong! I understand that sometimes I over react due to the hormones and stuff! I find myself doing the same in my relationship and being all talk one day and moody the next and my reason for this is that I feel like I'm fighting a battle in my head, one day I'm telling myself everything will be ok and it'll all work it's self out! Fast forward to tomorrow and I could be freaking out with everything that still has to be done!

I'm probably not making much sense and my advice might be easier said than done! Actions do speak louder than words. She needs a man and you need to prove to her that you can do that! (Sorry if that's harsh). I'd say give her as much support and reassurance as you can and prove to her everything will be ok. It's obvious that you're mad about her and your family so I'm sure she sees that already!

She has now said she isn't sure if me getting a job will sort things out. I'm confused about what she wants and she won't talk about things

swpb

Just give her time, continue to offer support, look after your kids and fingers crossed a job comes up soon. She sounds confused as you've still not said why she wanted to split in the first place? What were the reasons? If we knew we could offer more specific advice maybe?

W74255

swpb wrote: »

Just give her time, continue to offer support, look after your kids and fingers crossed a job comes up soon. She sounds confused as you've still not said why she wanted to split in the first place? What were the reasons? If we knew we could offer more specific advice maybe?

Because I can't get a job and we seem to be arguing a lot lately. But I love her and my kids to bits and would do anything to get a job. I'm looking each day but not much interviews.

swpb

W74255 wrote: »

Because I can't get a job and we seem to be arguing a lot lately. But I love her and my kids to bits and would do anything to get a job. I'm looking each day but not much interviews.

W74255 wrote: »

Because I can't get a job and we seem to be arguing a lot lately. But I love her and my kids to bits and would do anything to get a job. I'm looking each day but not much interviews.

Sounds very tough for you both. Maybe she is worried about new baby extra costs and this is causing her to lash out. Hormones can play a big part in heavily pregnant women and even aside from that it could be she fears you can't provide for them due to no job. Can you train in another field to open up other opportunities to gain employment and this might show her that you are trying so hard to get sorted with work. I'd say it's hard for you not having work and having it thrown in your face if you are looking as hard as you say. If she still not happy with that I think there is something else going on.......maybe you two have just drifted apart but honestly if you BOTH want to be together you'll get through this but you'll have to be patient with her as she vulnerable hormone wise at the minute. Again I just suggest hang in there and be supportive until she can sort out how she really feels. Sad situation for you both with a young family and I wish you all the best.

W74255

swpb wrote: »

Sounds very tough for you both. Maybe she is worried about new baby extra costs and this is causing her to lash out. Hormones can play a big part in heavily pregnant women and even aside from that it could be she fears you can't provide for them due to no job. Can you train in another field to open up other opportunities to gain employment and this might show her that you are trying so hard to get sorted with work. I'd say it's hard for you not having work and having it thrown in your face if you are looking as hard as you say. If she still not happy with that I think there is something else going on.......maybe you two have just drifted apart but honestly if you BOTH want to be together you'll get through this but you'll have to be patient with her as she vulnerable hormone wise at the minute. Again I just suggest hang in there and be supportive until she can sort out how she really feels. Sad situation for you both with a young family and I wish you all the best.

I have a business degree, and did an extra course last year in accounting and payroll. I'd take any job I get in order to support my family. She asked for space which I'm giving her, but she doesn't seem to miss me or anything which has me worried. She rarely texts me or anything now

December2012

Have you had any career guidance?

ABajaninCork

W74255 wrote: »

I have a business degree, and did an extra course last year in accounting and payroll. I'd take any job I get in order to support my family. She asked for space which I'm giving her, but she doesn't seem to miss me or anything which has me worried. She rarely texts me or anything now

Have you seen the baby in that time? Did you offer to take the child for an afternoon/overnight as I suggested to give her a break??