Remembering deceased loved ones at weddings

emzolita

Is anyone thinking of remembering someone very close to them that has passed away at their wedding?
How are you gonna do it? I want to do it, although I don't want to get upset on the day either, as their death was recent enough.

I have heard of the photo in the bouquet, that's a good idea, but any other ideas?

shortstuff!

Doing photo in a bouquet, if you look up bouquet photo charm on ebay there's some lovely ones, it's subtle which I like!

Toots

emzolita I'm sorry for your loss.

We had a church wedding so one of the prayers of the faithful was what we used. The bouquet charm is a lovely idea, not too in-your-face, but you'll know it's there. I've seen speeches where the person is mentioned, but if the loss was quite recent, I'd say avoid that, because it might be upsetting for some of your guests.

pooch90

We lit candles during the ceremony for them (2 fathers)and left them burning in a hurricane for the whole day, placed it on top table during meal.
Did the bouquet locket too.
I had a button bouquet and had buttons from them in it plus tied in my dad's wedding ring to it for the day.
We had their wedding pictures on the cake table and altar too.
We had a blackboard with a poem too.

Sounds like a lot when it's written down but it wasn't very in your face.

Blueberry22

We had a candle that we lit at the start of the ceremony just after we lit of "individual" candles - we had the names engraved on the candle (you could get a pic too if you wanted) the priest just mentioned it as we lit the candle together that it was for special people who couldn't be there and he then read the names of the candle. My husband also had a memorial card in his shirt pocket - close to his heart. Only the two of us knew he had it on the day - which is nice.

My husband also mentioned her (it was his grandma but she practically raised him but died a number of years ago) he asked me would I mind him "toasting his grandma at the end of his speech" I said of course of not but he said it wasn't the norm but I understood and it was a nice touch - he did get choked up but it wasn't ott.

Bouquet is a nice idea...

DoozerT6

My friend carried a photo of his father and himself as a baby, (his dad had passed away the previous year) in the breast pocket of his shirt for the ceremony, next to his heart

razorblunt

Could always ask the Best Man to make a toast if you're concerned about getting choked using something along the lines of "they're missed everyday, not just today".

kerry4sam

emzolita wrote: »

Is anyone thinking of remembering someone very close to them that has passed away at their wedding?
How are you gonna do it? I want to do it, although I don't want to get upset on the day either, as their death was recent enough.

I have heard of the photo in the bouquet, that's a good idea, but any other ideas?

My Sincere Condolences to you. Hope your plans are coming along nicely for you all.

My younger sister is getting married later this year and our Dad passed away in December of 2013.
So far:
~ My sister will be wearing a locket in a picture of our Dad inside;
~ Candles will be lit especially for all deceased Loved Relatives and placed at the top-table;
~ I was asked to say the Prayer of the Faithful with reference to Dad and other relatives no longer with us.

Think that's all that is planned at the moment tbh. Just not right though that our Dad won't see his little girl walk down in the isle in person though, just not right

Like the bouquet idea, sounds lovely,
kerry4sam

stinkle

So sorry for your loss Have you any of their items like a watch or jewellery you can wear? My dad wears his dad's watch for important events like weddings and graduations. I was going to wear the ring of a much-missed relative on my wedding day as my soething borrowed, but on the day it would only fit my wedding finger and I was afraid I'd lose it if I faffed around changing it when the time came in the ceremony for the rings. . We were able to use a brooch in the hair of my bridesmaid, so you could be creative if you have anything like that too. If you have an important item that means something to you, you might not have to worry about something in the ceremony or speech that will upset you.

amdublin

I think the bouquet idea is lovely! And the prayer of the faithful is ideal time. I also think it's nice to mention during the speeches someone missing from the day "but we know you're watching from above"

Me personally I think the candle at the top table all day/all night is a bit weird and morbid. I'd also worry it would get knocked over or blown out and then I'd found it a bit disrespectful.

fits

I Could post about what we are doing but in the end, whatever is appropriate is going to be a very individual thing.

Blueberry22

amdublin wrote: »

Me personally I think the candle at the top table all day/all night is a bit weird and morbid. I'd also worry it would get knocked over or blown out and then I'd found it a bit disrespectful.

I agree with this - this is why we just lit the candle in the church and we still have it and can.light it in bdays/anniversaries etc. (we had a few names on it - grand parents, sister etc) each to their own. It wasn't a parent who wasn't there on our day so if it is for you - you may want something more. Just remember it your day si do what you as a couple want to do...

cookiecakes

I had two medals from my aunts who I was really close to sewn into my dress. Only myself and my mum knew they were there but it made me feel like they were close to me. We also had a candle burning for the day which had a nice verse on it about people who are no longer with us. We had it on it's own little table off to the side as we didn't want to have it in people's faces and upset some of my family. It was important to me that we had it there though. We also had a prayer of the faithful mentioning people who loved who were no longer with us.

Sleepymissymoo

Lighting a candle in the church is a lovely idea. My Dad passed away very suddenly last year, just days after I got engaged. Never ever imagined that'd I'd be walking down the aisle without him Our wedding is October so haven't given a lot of thought yet to what we will do but will definitely include something in the Mass and speeches, will be so hard tho. I just hope I'll be strong enough to say a few words without completely breaking down.

Fionn

I've covered a few ceremonies where loved ones were remembered in different ways, the lighting of candles is popular and obviously can be used to good effect by the photographer/videographer, another one is a favourite song, of someone thats passed on can be poignant and bring back good memories of the person.
haven't seen the Bouquet one tho!
most of these work well at the ceremony, but of course it is a personal thing at the end of the day.