Never forget me

LegacyUser

I posted here awhile ago about falling in love with someone. I followed the advice to let her go but once I did things happened to bring us closer. Now I need to know what this means from females who said similar things.

Well theres a woman who I realized I truly loved instead of it just being a crush after she told me she's moving somewhere else and I knew I'd never see her again, She said to me that she will miss me and asked me to never forget her. Well I don't understand woman and I'm very shy about rejection so I hold myself back. Women I'm close to have often said they'd miss me so those words mean nothing to me but I'm so confused about the never forget me part.

I have this womans number and I wrote a few memos about what I want to say to her but I need to know what the never forget me words really mean so I don't F up a great friendship by saying my true feelings. So ladies what do you really mean when you tell someone to never forget me??

Mr. J

I personally don't think it particularly matters what gender the person that says this is. Obviously woman often think differently to men; but they also experience general human thoughts too. Maybe she means she just doesn't want you to forget her.

Although it's more likely, being a woman - sorry ladies I'm only joking here, well, half-joking, half-serious - what she really means is... Here I am, I'm just after telling you I want to be with you. It's up to you now. Tell me you want me to stay, come with me. Let's go!

I dunno brah! It will take a lot of guts to tell her how you feel. But it would be a very grand thing to do, in my opinion. What if she feels the same? If she doesn't, ah well! You may kick yourself in twenty or thirty years if you leave your words unspoken, words unspoken - look at me talking all poetic and sh*t...

If you get hurt, you get hurt. If you mess sh*t up, you mess sh*t up. Follow your damn stomach man! Follow the butterflies!!

*note, whilst I'm sincere in my words, if somebody offered the above advice to me, I'm not so sure I would take it. I would at least give it some thought though.

DukeOfTheSharp

Just tell her you have feelings for her, it's not a complex thing. What's the worst that can happen? She moves away and you never see her again, or she moves away and you work something out, either romantically or friendship-wise. Regardless of any of that, it's not healthy to keep your feelings in like this and you're doing a major disservice to her and you by not being honest. If you end up pining after her you'll never move forward, and if she does turn you down, maybe you can still be friends, or maybe you won't be, but it all tends to work out in the end.

LegacyUser

One thing I didn't want to mention was this woman is in a 4 year relationship with someone else and telling her how I feel is more than just having guts. It could possibly turn her world upside down. All I want is for her to be happy. I know she loves her boyfriend as I can see it in her eyes when she talks about him. The same look she gives me when we talk which is why it's so hard to say anything. I don't know. All I know is before she told me she was leaving I thought she was a great friend. But the day she told me I was leaving was the day i realied she was more than that.

After find out she has a boyfriend would you still give the same advice?

DukeOfTheSharp

Again, what do you have to lose? My advice still stands; it's a disservice to you and to her, and extremely unhealthy, to pine. If she's as good of a friend as you say, you two will, after a certain period of time, get on speaking terms once more without all the messy emotional stuff clouding it up. Once again, pining it bad, emotionally unhealthy and regardless of the situation, just tell her how you feel, and let her know you understand she's with someone, you're not expecting anything, you're just doing this for you're own peace of mind and out of respect for her, so that if you two do talk afterwards, you'll at least have moved forward, regardless of the outcome.

mada82

Don't think it's appropriate to be chasing after someone in a relationship.

Username here

mada82 wrote: »

Don't think it's appropriate to be chasing after someone in a relationship.

Agree with this 100%; and think it's pretty poor advice for other posters to suggest otherwise.

OP, you say you know she loves her boyfriend. Let's for a moment imagine that you are the boyfriend of 4 years that she's in love with - what advice would you have for a friend of hers who thought they were just good friends until he heard she was leaving the country, and is now pining after her? Would you welcome the intrusion?

I'm not sure why you've got the idea that "never forget me" means anything other than "don't forget about me". Maybe she's hoping for emails, to meet up / catch up if she's back in the country for holidays etc, perhaps for you to pay a visit to her new home if you're ever in that neck of the woods. Basically, to keep in touch - the type of thing that FRIENDS do, eh? No great mystery about that, as far as I can see.