regrets?

chaz44

Hey just wondering to all u men how u feel after u break up with someone?do u regret it or realise it was for the best??

Regrets are natural it seems. It just appears to be how our mind works if we let is lazily amble along.

It does take the investment of some concentration to look at it rationally - and in general I have few if any regrets about my past - because each event brought me to the person I am here now. So I can not look at things in terms of regret any more - as they were all rungs on a ladder - without which I might not be where I want to be now.

Failed relationships should not be look at with regret I feel - but as having been a learning experience. One can learn what one wants from a relationship - which might have not been clear before. One can identify modes of acting - one might have engaged in - that were not conducive to a relationship and hence weed these out for future relationships.

It is all about learning - character building - experience - and moving forward. And seen in that light - it is hard to regret most things.

dinorebel

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

chaz44

I broke up with a woman a week ago and she seems to be moving on already.i told her she could talk to me about anything whenever she wanted but she said no.did she care at all?

eviltwin

chaz44 wrote: »

I broke up with a woman a week ago and she seems to be moving on already.i told her she could talk to me about anything whenever she wanted but she said no.did she care at all?

How long were you together?

I wouldn't judge her emotional state on that alone. Not everyone can or wants to stay in touch with an ex. It might be too hard for her right now or maybe she just doesn't see the point but don't assume you didn't mean anything to her.

chaz44

Nearly a year.I have a lot going on with work and college and I just have no idea what's going on in my life or where it's headed. I told her I couldn't be in a relationship at the moment but she could still talk to me.just so confused over stuff.I think maybe contact her in a few weeks?

eviltwin

chaz44 wrote: »

Nearly a year.I have a lot going on with work and college and I just have no idea what's going on in my life or where it's headed. I told her I couldn't be in a relationship at the moment but she could still talk to me.just so confused over stuff.I think maybe contact her in a few weeks?

You broke up with her. I think you need to respect her enough to leave her alone. Its not fair to come and go as it suits you.

py2006

I often in the past found it best to cut off all ties completely. It does sound kind of childish at times but I have often noticed with others that if there is still contact after a breakup it often mean that one of them is still hanging on to something. Not always the case though.

lazybones32

chaz44 wrote: »

Hey just wondering to all u men how u feel after u break up with someone?do u regret it or realise it was for the best??

I've never broke up with someone without a reason for doing so. You gotta remember that when the pang to call her hits.

kieran.

No regrets, chalk it down as experience and move on..

chaz44

But what I'm asking is has anyone broken up with a woman but to want her back?

chaz44

chaz44 wrote: »

But what I'm asking is has anyone broken up with a woman but to want her back?

Ah a slightly different question.

Yes this happens quite a lot. And a reason for this is that the motivations we have for breaking up with someone are alleviated BY breaking up with them.

And hence the reasons we wanted to be with them in the first place come back to the fore in our minds and we start to wonder if we made the right decision in the first place.

Perhaps "Regret" is not the right word you should have used. "Doubts" is more correct I feel - do we doubt ourselves and our decision when we break up with someone?

Alas what tends to happen often is people re-kindle the relationship off the back of these doubts - they get back together - and then their being together again re-ignites the issues that made them break up in the first place. And the relationship fails again.

Your doubts after a break up come from remembering the good parts of that relationship. One should also be mindful of the reasons you broke up too however - and not forget them or how intense they were at the time.

And any desire or intent to try that relationship again should be done from a foundation of exploring those issues and ensuring they are addressed from the outset - not later on down the road when they become intolerable again and explosive and emotive.

Littlekittylou

chaz44 wrote: »

Nearly a year.I have a lot going on with work and college and I just have no idea what's going on in my life or where it's headed. I told her I couldn't be in a relationship at the moment but she could still talk to me.just so confused over stuff.I think maybe contact her in a few weeks?

Sure if you want to. No harm.