Another gift etiquette thread

tinkerbell

Apologies in advance but past threads are usually about people who were sent an invite just for the sake of it (to people they barely speak to or haven't even met!) or work colleagues that you are not particularly close to ...! Looked in the sticky and couldn't find an answer.

I have a wedding coming up in a couple of months for a friend and cannot attend. In this instance, what kind of gift is appropriate? I honestly have no clue on this one since I would attend if possible but unfortunately it's not.

My friend and her fiancé attended my wedding and gave a generous cash gift. Do I give what they gave us or should the amount be less or more due to non attendance? Really don't know what to do in this situation and don't want to get this wrong! Thanks!

magicmushroom

If they were a very close friend, I would arrange for a bottle of Prosecco/Champagne to be sent up to the bride on the morning of the wedding with a little note like - sorry we can't be there, but thinking of you on your big day!
Something like that will be remembered.

And then arrange to take them both our for a meal after the wedding, so you can hear all about it, see pictures etc.

I wouldn't put money in a card but that's me, some others might tell you to send €100

Milly33

I would leave it with the bottle of bubbly or meet up with them after the wedding for a night out and pay for that. Wouldn't bother too much with any more

annoyedgal

Personally for a close friend, i would give whatever you would give if you were attending the wedding, especially if they gave you a wedding gift. don't see why not going to the wedding would change the gift.

smallgarden

annoyedgal wrote: »

Personally for a close friend, i would give whatever you would give if you were attending the wedding, especially if they gave you a wedding gift. don't see why not going to the wedding would change the gift.

I'd imagine if you were going to the wedding it'd cost the couple 50 ish per person for dinner, but if not going there's no cost to them, which is why people are more generous if going to the wedding, to cover cost of them going

lazygal

I would give what I'd have given if I was attending the wedding if they are good friends. I was nine months pregnant when a good friend was married and gave a cash gift after I had the baby as I wasn't allowed and didn't want to travel to attend.

rainbowtrout

I'd give whatever I'd have given if I was able to go. I'm giving a gift because they are getting married, not because I got an invite to the reception.

Sligo1

Yes I'd also give the gift I had been intending to give if I was going or not. My friend gave us €200 for our wedding. When she was getting married last year I was 38 weeks pregnant and was unsure if we'd be able to attend her wedding. We went in the end. But I would never have given her less if we had been unable to go.

January

I'd give the same amount as if you'd have been going to the wedding.

jlm29

If if was one of my best friends, I would give the same gift regardless. If they were a less close friend, I would probably give a meal voucher, or a one for all- perhaps to a lesser value (I would often give €200 if I was going to a wedding. A couple of years ago, a girl from work, who I would be quite close to invited me to her wedding, and I was unable to go. Gave a €100 voucher)

tinkerbell

Thanks for all the words of wisdom, much appreciated!

BabysCoffee

I'd also give the same gift as if I was attending