Actress parks derrière on seat, receives critical acclaim

Boring username

HOLD THE FRONT PAGE-BELOVED BLIGHTY BABE IN BRILLIANT BUM BALLET!

In a move that has shaken the world of show business to its core, actress Helen Mirren has dramatically taken a seat on a subway train.

New York City's R Train was the scene of the extraordinary developments earlier today as the actress, (best known for her portrayal of urine stained pensioner Elizabeth II in the 2006 movie "The Queen") dramatically swooped in to take her place on the sparsely populated underground carriage. According to unconfirmed reports, the G.I.L.F. has recently been undergoing rigorous physical training in preparation for the demanding performance.

Analysts have been quick to comment on the magnificent quality of the investigative reporting, with some suggesting it may be a watershed moment in restoring faith to an industry that critics say have been focusing on irrelevant material for years, while downplaying somewhat more pressing matters.

Noted Irish periodical the Sunday Independent even went so far as to proclaim the actress as “polite subway user of the week”. Some commentators have even speculated that journalist Freya Drohan (who broke the original story) is already a certain bet for this year's prestigious Pulitzer Prize. Previous winners include a bunch of people you probably won't recognise, and this line is only pointless filler anyway.

In an exclusive interview that never took place outside Time Square's Radio City Music Hall, Dame Mirren confirmed it was indeed her buttocks perched merrily on the subway seat:'I just saw an opening and decided to just go for it. I didn't even carry out a brief check for chewing gum or dried faeces-I just said " Oh what the hell" and just went for it. It's the old British bulldog fighting spirit in me, I suppose. Obviously I'm delighted with the result'.

In classic gutter print tradition, here is a totally irrelevant picture of the actress with her baps almost showing:

That's the spirit Ma'am!

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In what I hope will be a recurring feature on boards.ie , yours truly has taken it upon himself to mercilessly lampoon the trash culture of our glorious fifth estate, and all those who sail upon the good ship Sindo.
So I would ask you all to join me in celebrating this moment of journalistic mediocrity-why cry, when you can laugh?

Coming next week: An in depth exclusive on Bob Geldof's bowel movements!

Nabber

Boring username wrote: »

Coming next week: An in depth exclusive on Bob Geldof's bowel movements!

The sh!te he talks is unbearable, I'm the sh!tes he takes are easier to stomach.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Can't wait. :rolleyes:

The King of Moo

She's obviously preparing for a Rosa Parks biopic.

Karl Stein

I can't imagine 'Jenny from the block' parking her preposterous posterior on a subway seat.

GAAman

"Man Spreader" FFS

:rolleyes:

conorh91

Will anyone admit to buying the Sindo? And why?

They manage to shift a quarter of a million copies every Sunday; someone must be buying the absolute rag.

One eyed Jack

conorh91 wrote: »

Will anyone admit to buying the Sindo? And why?

They manage to shift a quarter of a million copies every Sunday; someone must be buying the absolute rag.

Hi, my name is Jack, and I've been Sindo free for almost ten years now






(though in fairness, the OP certainly has potential as the AH newsboy! )

Boring username

Karl Stein wrote: »

I can't imagine 'Jenny from the block' parking her preposterous posterior on a subway seat.

You could park a subway between Jenny's preposterous posterior :P

catallus

Helen Mirren is worth €45million how?

Boring username

catallus wrote: »

Helen Mirren is worth €45million how?

I suspect she has a strong following of middle aged, male, heterosexual supporters....

FloatingVoter

I wonder if she's in the market for an unemployable Irish spendthrift.

Boring username

FloatingVoter wrote: »

I wonder if she's in the market for an unemployable Irish spendthrift.

I already have that market cornered Mister

Boring username

No less that three other major sites are covering this story:

Business Insider http://uk.businessinsider.com/helen-mirren-rides-the-subway-2015-2?r=US
Yahoo News https://www.yahoo.com/style/dame-helen-mirren-others-who-c1422919027734.html
US Weekly http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/helen-mirren-rides-nyc-subway-picture-201522

This is major :rolleyes:

AllGunsBlazing

She looks mortified.

Eugene Norman

I thought that part of the charm of new York was just this. Given its size and walk ability you would walk past famous people every day. Some might even take the tube.

Boring username

Eugene Norman wrote: »

I thought that part of the charm of new York was just this. Given its size and walk ability you would walk past famous people every day. Some might even take the tube.

That's actually something that a lot of celebrities comment on-the fact that they can get around New York without being bothered. Although that might be about to change if the media continue to scrape the bottom of the barrel with non stories like I mentioned....