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What should I do? Advice needed

  • 30-01-2015 1:41am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    It was recently my boyfriend's dad's 60th. I am usually quite sociable at events like this but I haven't been feeling too good recently (I suffer with anxiety and depression) and after a few drinks I began to feel lonely and as if my boyfriend had left me in the corner for the night. Long story short we went outside and had an argument and I stormed off crying. I know it's no excuse but I had had a lonely few days before this and knew myself I wasn't in a great place before I'd gone to the party, and looking back I should not have drank.

    Anyway, I realised I was in the wrong and attempted to ring my boyfriend but his phone was off. I went back to the party and saw his mam. I said hi, and tried to act as if everything was ok. I asked if she knew where my boyfriend was and she said "I told him to turn off his phone so you would stop messing with his head." This hit me hard. I went into the toilets and cried my eyes out. Then his aunties and cousins could hear me crying and were knocking on the door asking was I ok. It was absolutely humiliating. He told me the next day his mam said she was annoyed at my behaviour, and rightly so.

    I am so ashamed of myself and I wish so much this didn't happen. I know his mam was always very fond of me and now I'm really upset to think she's probably rethinking that fondness. I can't get the whole thing out of my mind and I'm too nervous to even go back to his house and see his family.

    Can anyone offer any advice? What should I do? This whole thing has upset me so much.


Comments

  • #2
    Tokyo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,656 ✭✭✭✭Tokyo


    If it makes you feel any better, I don't think your boyfriend's mum has had a massive turnaround in her opinion of you - I'm sure she's still fond of you as she has been in the past. But a 60th birthday is a big milestone, and the party probably took quite a bit of planning on their part, and she was more than likely frustrated and annoyed at seeing you make the evening about you, and not your boyfriend's dad, and feeling that your mood with your boyfriend take away from the enjoyment of what should have been a fun evening for all.

    Having said that, it's far from being the worst thing to happen at a family event, and it will pass with a little time. You were in the wrong to be upset, by your own admission, and quite often the best approach in getting past something like this is to make amends for it, so that you can give yourself a chance to go easy on yourself too. So maybe it's time to eat a little humble pie, and tell your boyfriend's mother what you said here - that you'd had a bad few days of it, and that, coupled with the drink at the party was a bad combination, and that you feel humiliated by the whole thing.

    And you really should go easy on yourself. Emotions can out at the most inopportune moments at times, but believe me when I say that far worse things have happened at family events than one person getting upset at their partner.


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