Old friend marriage disaster

Glinda

An old friend has had her marriage very suddenly fall apart with no warning. She has been married more than twenty years and has three children all living at home, two of whom have special needs. The eldest is over eighteen and receives disability allowance. She is receives carer's in respect of the second child who is much younger. The third child is still in education. Both of the children with special needs will always require a carer as theirs is not a condition from which they might recover.

Her husband has left the family home but pops in and out of the house at will. She has been told there is nothing she can do to prevent this. She is on medication at this stage for anxiety and depression (was fine before). He completely ignores all communications.

She has been receiving very conflicting advice and is frankly terrified at this point.

I wondered if anyone here has experience of this kind of situation?

Her main questions are:

What generally happens to the family home? There is still a mortgage. Hubby seems to think once the youngest is 18 all bets are off and he will be entitled to half the house. She has been told by the bank that she will never qualify for a loan unless she is working, so no prospect of buying him out.

What happens (generally) in terms of maintenance? Hubby is working, she is full-time carer.

He does not communicate with her at all and has formally refused mediation. She has very little money but has been told that because of his income she isn't entitled to free legal aid.

She is afraid to go to a private solicitor without any sort of clue as to what might be realistic to ask for.

Not looking for legal advice or anything, just wondering if anyone has any experience of what might be reasonable for her to expect.

cnocbui

She could try approaching Citizen's Advice initially but ultimately she is most likely going to have to at least talk to a solicitor about a judicial separation as it doesn't sound like the husband would negotiate.

I would be surprised if the husband got any part of the house in a separation.

Glinda

Thanks for the reply - she has already spoken to Citizen's Advice who seem to have said she'll get nothing as she's already receiving a full social welfare payment. She said they also told her she is liable for 50% of the mortgage as it's jointly in her name. This seems very weird to me as he's earning far more. She is very panicky and has trouble following conversations at the moment though so it's difficult.

cgh

Glinda,

your friend should go and get good legal advice at this point. then use that advice as a base for what to do.

Glinda

Yes, thanks Cgh, she has asked me to go with her for an initial consultation with a solicitor. She was hoping to have some idea what has happened other parents in her situation, if anyone can help with that. If not, we'll just rock up to the solicitor without a clue, which I suppose is ok too!