Virgin at 22?

LegacyUser

So I am a 22 year old female who never had a boyfriend, not only that I am still a virgin.
For years I have always been overweight and way too quiet and awkward, to a point where I was diagnosed with aspergers at 18. I have now lost weight and been told I was pretty. Also my aspergers could have been a misdiagnosis or I just grew out of some traits, but still quiet and "odd-like", none the less.


It's just that I notice how guys seem to have this problem, and not so much girls because either they were able to lose it or just not worry about it too much, but it has been getting at me a lot. When I lost the weight, I obviously never had sex, but i enjoyed the attention I got off some guys when I went out more, and had fun with them sometimes (just kissing at the nightclub). But that was short-lived for various reasons, and I miss it. I miss just being free and having a laugh with mates when it came to boys (while being careful of course), especially since I never got the chance to when I was a young teenager.

But now I barely get a chance to go out at college, because it is difficult to make friends here because I am still too awkward.
So with that, it's even more harder to meet a guy and I am just afraid that when I do, he would be put off that I am still a virgin. Especially since the decent ones are going into relationships this stage. At this stage I rather just lose it, whether it be in a relationship or a one-ff casual night. I'd like to experience sex even once.

I just want to know even other girls have this problem and how they worked around it? I mean for someone like me, the online world seems like my last option, but some guys on that really freak me out.

Don't know what I am looking for exactly here, just reassurance that I am not the only one worried about this.

LoonyLovegood

Honestly, being a virgin at 22 ISN'T uncommon. As kids everyone thinks it's important, but it's not. I lost mine in an abusive relationship with a dickhead who put me in hospital, and I do regret it. Honestly, just wait and give yourself some time, because it's not a race, believe me.

username000

lonely456 wrote: »

...I am just afraid that when I do, he would be put off that I am still a virgin.

No guy will be put off that you are still a virgin. And especially not at 22. You are still a young adult and there will be lots of other people your age who are still virgins.

Its something that everyone worries about btw.

I think if you could work on yourself a bit to try and socialise more at college and get opportunities to go out and meet guys that would be good for you.

retro:electro

If a guy is put off that you are still a virgin, then he is the wrong guy. The right one won't feel that way and think that it's commendable that you waited. Honestly no man wants to settle down with a girl who has been with every Tom Dick and Harry (excuse the pun!)
Be proud of yourself that you waited and didn't just go off with one of those guys from the club which is what a lot of girls so and regret it.

Rubberchikken

agree^^
don't make it about virginity or losing it.

just go out to meet nice guys, get to know one and at 22, have some fun. when you're ready you'll know the right guy to be with. until then don't stress about it. it's not a race to get rid of it and it doesn't have a sell by date:)

good luck

username000

anna080 wrote: »

Honestly no man wants to settle down with a girl who has been with every Tom Dick and Harry (excuse the pun!)

Some people like to have a lot of sex with a lot of partners and that is just as ok as those people who prefer to wait and only have one or only have a few.

Some guys will mind if a woman has been with a lot of partners, some will not. There is no one size fits all and it is wrong to suggest that certain lifestyles are wrong and make generalisations such as the above.

retro:electro

username000 wrote: »

Some people like to have a lot of sex with a lot of partners and that is just as ok as those people who prefer to wait and only have one or only have a few.

Some guys will mind if a woman has been with a lot of partners, some will not. There is no one size fits all and it is wrong to suggest that certain lifestyles are wrong and make generalisations such as the above.

That's true I suppose, and I never meant to generalise. But for the most part any guy I've ever known always prefers a girl who hasn't made it her business to sleep around with loads and loads of guys.

username000

anna080 wrote: »

That's true I suppose, and I never meant to generalise. But for the most part any guy I've ever known always prefers a girl who hasn't made it her business to sleep around with loads and loads of guys.

And I have met men with varying opinions on the matter. Sometimes it depends on their own background. Or some people dont tie up respect or like for a person based on their sexual history.

I just didnt want OP to think that if she did go ahead and lose her virginity and have a good time and then wish to repeat that good time with other people that it would be a bad thing.

So long as consenting adults are respectful of each other and comfortable about what they are doing I dont think we should judge what goes on in the privacy of the bedroom, or indeed how often it goes on.

Variety is the spice of life after all

retro:electro

username000 wrote: »

And I have met men with varying opinions on the matter. Sometimes it depends on their own background. Or some people dont tie up respect or like for a person based on their sexual history.

I just didnt want OP to think that if she did go ahead and lose her virginity and have a good time and then wish to repeat that good time with other people that it would be a bad thing.

So long as consenting adults are respectful of each other and comfortable about what they are doing I dont think we should judge what goes on in the privacy of the bedroom, or indeed how often it goes on.

Variety is the spice of life after all

I'm merely commending the op on waiting and saying that the right guy won't judge her. I'm not equating having multiple partners to a lack of self respect or judging anyone. I'm just reassuring the op that it's a commendable trait that most men would admire. You don't agree with me there and that's fine.

Mike747

Op, most men would find you highly desirable it they knew you were a virgin. Don't be embarrassed about it.

username000

anna080 wrote: »

I'm merely commending the op on waiting and saying that the right guy won't judge her. I'm not equating having multiple partners to a lack of self respect or judging anyone. I'm just reassuring the op that it's a commendable trait that most men would admire. You don't agree with me there and that's fine.

I totally agree that most men would be delighted to come across a virgin, but I disagree that "no man" would want to settle down with a girl who had had multiple partners. That's implying that a girl is worth less if she has had a lot of partners. Which is simply untrue.

In fact, I would be sad for anyone who had only experienced none or only one sexual partner in their entire life because they would be missing out on the fun of experiencing differing chemistries, finding out what they liked, discovering how different people like different things etc..

As already mentioned, it shouldn't be a race to lose it, but I also believe it's helpful to promote positive attitudes towards sex and not imply that women who enjoy and indulge in a lot of sex are somehow going to be punished later by no man wanting to settle down with them.

Jinonatron

My girlfriend lost her virginity to me at 27. To be honest I rather her like that. Makes it more special.