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Really fancy the girl...

  • 26-01-2015 5:38pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    OK. So last September I met a girl. A girl that I found amazing. The first girl I'd actually been anyway interested in since being separated for about a year... We dated, movie, coffee, drinks. On the second date I kissed her and it felt good.

    Things escalated a bit quicker than I would have liked and we ended up in bed a couple of weeks later... Anyway she told me after that she was not too long out of a relationship and didn't want anything serious. Kinda gutted but kept in contact... We've been out a few times as friends, last weekend we went for coffee and spent two and a half hours chatting... It's great being around her... I did text her early into the new year to ask her out on date but she told me she was wanting to be just friends...

    I'm really hung up over her. With valentines day coming up I was planning on sending her some flowers card... Am I just wasting my time???


Comments

  • #2
    dudara
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    Excuse my little mini-rant here, but what is it about Valentine's Day that causes this kind of romantic outpourings? She's told you that she wants to be friends, and I don't think flowers and a card will be appreciated. In fact, it could be seen as kind of stalkerish.

    If you really want to try and persue her, then talk to her openly and honestly. No texting, snapchatting, emailing etc. Face to face is always best. But try not to put her under pressure. We're not even at the end of January yet, which means that it's not even a month since she told you that she wanted to be friends. And you have given that impression since by going out for coffee with her.


  • #3
    seenitall
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,725 ✭✭✭seenitall


    shouldJustGiveUp wrote: »
    I'm really hung up over her. With valentines day coming up I was planning on sending her some flowers card... Am I just wasting my time???


    Hi OP,

    In short, yes.

    She's told you she's not interested in you, not once, but twice. There will be some other girl for you, but this is not the one. Now move on.

    Sorry, but men who won't take no for an answer really annoy the heck out of me.


  • #4
    yermandan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,068 ✭✭✭yermandan


    You gotta move on man, the signs are obvious (to us who are not involved).

    You wanna meet someone who will want you from day one, and she is out there, but it is not this girl.

    Best of luck


  • #5
    HiGlo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 561 ✭✭✭HiGlo


    Unfortunately it's just part of life.
    We all meet someone we really like and would like to pursue something with, but it's just not reciprocated. There's nothing really you can do about it.
    It's sad and hurtful and disappointing and all that, but it's just life.

    I wouldn't do the Valentines flowers etc thing. You'll make her feel awkward and uncomfortable and she'll step further away from you. Maybe drop her a casual text but don't go into the flowers/present zone.
    She seems happy to be in your company and spend time with you so if you feel like you're ok with just being nothing more than friends then stick with that. If you think you're just going to keep falling for her, then for your own sanity I'd suggest you walk away....


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