Weddings, no bridesmaids?

Boardbird83 · 25-01-2015 11:22pm #1

I have three brothers which I'd rather stand in instead of the annoyance of picking bridesmaids. Anyone been to a wedding with no bridesmaids?

Gingaling · 25-01-2015 11:32pm

I have. Was a civil ceremony in a rustic kind of venue so there was no walk down the aisle, and to be honest you didn't really notice they weren't there. This particular couple had two best men, but both were friends of the groom rather than the bride. In short I'd say go for it if that's what you fancy!

25-01-2015 11:34pm

Boardbird83 wrote: »

I have three brothers which I'd rather stand in instead of the annoyance of picking bridesmaids. Anyone been to a wedding with no bridesmaids?

Absolutely do whatever you and your partner want.

Boardbird83 · 25-01-2015 11:40pm

I've been bridesmaid three times n don't want to feel I have to pick those girls coz they picked me. I feel there is a lot of tension from friends when bridesmaid names are revealed.

willow tree · 25-01-2015 11:57pm

Well I'm the same. I asked one of my brothers to stand in (years ago but we've since had daughters & they will be my bridesmaids. Do whatever you want to do. Etiquette is a dirty word as far as I'm concerned. To thine own self be true. :-)

wuffly · 26-01-2015 8:02am

I think its a lovely idea! I've seen it at a civil wedding. It was lovely and he gave such fab speech! Do what suits you

almorris · 26-01-2015 8:36am

Do it. There is no right or wrong way.

Neyite · 26-01-2015 9:46am

I don't plan on having bridesmaids. Don't see the point personally.

MsBubbles · 26-01-2015 10:01am

We got married in september 2014 and didn't have bridesmaids. We had 35 people at the ceremony so didn't see the need for bridesmaids.

BlondeBomb · 26-01-2015 10:02am

When my cousin married, her husband had his 2 sisters as, I guess, stand in for Best Man.

Don't see it being a big issue!

Milly33 · 26-01-2015 10:21am

Go for it!! It might save a lot of stress also of picking those who you feel like you should pick.. men are so much easier to dress haha

lazygal · 26-01-2015 10:44am

If was doing it again I wouldn't bother with a bridesmaid. I only had my sister but I think in hindsight it wasn't necessary. Our mums signed the register as our two witnesses.

stickybookmark · 26-01-2015 11:07am

I have 1 sister and I was bridesmaid for her but I don't want bridesmaids (or best man or flower girls) at my wedding. It's going to be a church wedding with > 100 guests. I'm in the middle of negotiations with my OH at the moment as he wants to ask his bro to be best man and his daughters (my step daughters to be) to be flower girls but I really want a no fuss wedding and I think bridesmaids are totally unnecessary. However if he asks his bro to be best man I think my sis will be very offended so has to be all or nothing in our case I think. Neyite are ye having groomsmen? Do you have any sisters (Neyite I mean)

stickybookmark · 26-01-2015 11:09am

Oh and yes I've been at a wedding with no bridesmaids. It was in the States, the bride had only brothers and they along with the groom's brothers stood up. It was a humanist wedding ceremony -outdoor

Neyite · 26-01-2015 11:51am

stickybookmark wrote: »

I have 1 sister and I was bridesmaid for her but I don't want bridesmaids (or best man or flower girls) at my wedding. It's going to be a church wedding with > 100 guests. I'm in the middle of negotiations with my OH at the moment as he wants to ask his bro to be best man and his daughters (my step daughters to be) to be flower girls but I really want a no fuss wedding and I think bridesmaids are totally unnecessary. However if he asks his bro to be best man I think my sis will be very offended so has to be all or nothing in our case I think. Neyite are ye having groomsmen? Do you have any sisters (Neyite I mean)

I can see with a traditional setup it would be hard not to 'match' the other side of the church, but while we have nothing planned yet, I do know it will be a very informal, likely civil service, family-only set up. So if he nominates one or two of his brothers, they'll be in their own suits, just as if I have a sister or two witnessing for me, they'll be wearing what they like, with no input from me.

nearzero · 26-01-2015 12:19pm

I didnt have bridesmaids - we had a humanist service so we picked witnessess. My husband picked his oldest childhood friend (a woman) and I had one of my best female friends!

We didnt have a walk down the aisle - I just walked down with my Dad. It was lovely!

It did put a few peoples noses out of joint though cause I decided not to have bridesmaids! My day, my choice... some people are never happy though!

An Bhanríon · 26-01-2015 1:12pm

All you need is two witnesses...

We had a church ceremony. We asked our mothers to be witnesses. They were delighted. Our siblings were all involved in the ceremony in some other way, as were various other family members and friends.

If you want bridemaids, have bridesmaids. If you dont, don't. Choose people that mean a lot to you and that will be really happy to be asked.

I have also been a 'bridesmaid' at a wedding where myself and the other bridesmaid just wore our own dresses. We were more like witnesses I suppose, but we called ourselves bridesmaids! But there was no co-ordinating dresses or anything like that.

Tranceypoo · 26-01-2015 1:14pm

Neyite wrote: »

I don't plan on having bridesmaids. Don't see the point personally.

This, got married 7 years ago (in church), didn't have bridesmaids, honestly just couldn't be arsed with the drama and the extra expense and frankly it was all about MEEEEE!!

ClubDead · 26-01-2015 1:59pm

I'm getting married in the summer and not having bridesmaids. It just seemed like hassle and I didn't want the fuss. I've been suprised how shocking others have reacted to this, I keep getting asked 'but why?'. It's like there is a script that your supposed to follow and not deviate from. I've gotten to the point were I won't explain our choices any more and just say 'because thats what we've decided to do'. A bit abrupt but I'm sick of the interference.

Frog Song · 26-01-2015 2:05pm

I was at two weddings in the past 2 years where there were no bridesmaids. After the initial "oh there aren't any bridesmaids" you wouldn't even think twice about it. One of my cousins is get getting married in May and is having her twin brother as her "male of honour"

I think it's up to the person, it really isn't a big deal at all. Honestly, people care more about the food! Don't mind what reactions you get now, on the day after a few minutes no one will care if you had bridesmaids or not.

Boardbird83 · 26-01-2015 2:57pm

That's a lovely idea including your mums?!

pooch90 · 26-01-2015 4:57pm

We did the same with our mams as both father are deceased.
I reckon the best man was a bit put out about it but he was out our about anything and everything.
The way we looked at it was that it would be nice for our kids to see their grandparents names on our marriage certificate.
We both like a bit of genealogy!

carolinespring · 26-01-2015 6:13pm

I was at a wedding Summer of 2013. The bride has a "Bridesman" and as he was her best friend. Nobody found it odd, it was a very informal wedding with a relaxed festival vibe. Was bliss to not to have to get all dressed up and have to say it was one of the best weddings I was ever at.

Gatica · 27-01-2015 10:16am

I had a bridesmaid and bridesman, they were my 2 best friends, so I didn't care that it wasn't 2 girls tbh... Worked out well.
If you don't want any, don't bother having them. Not much needed on the day other than someone to help you out maybe, and the rest is just posing for pics.

stickybookmark · 27-01-2015 10:19am

Yeah my OH pointed out that the best man actually does have a role on the day - two actually - he gives a speech and he is the person that people give the envelopes to (a very important job when you think about it!) so if anything you could argue that a best man is necessary but bridesmaids aren't! They organise the hen I suppose - but I'm not having a hen.
It is a slight concern about not having a best man that people won't know who to give the envelopes to but I presume when they see my OH's brother signing as witness in the church they will just assume to give them to him ?

An Bhanríon · 27-01-2015 12:27pm

The point about who to give the gifts to is important. That is one reason why it's handy to have a best man because at our wedding people did ask who the best man was and when we said there is none they had to ask us what to do with the gifts which I am sure made them feel a bit uncomfortable, as I think people like to be able to give them quietly to the best man and not give them directly to the couple.

We did ask our siblings to take care of any gifts. But the lack of a best man did still create a bit of confusion!

So another bit of advice when deciding about a bridal party is to think about who will deal with gifts - if you will be getting gifts. Of course, if you are just having men in your bridal party it probably makes the whole thing easier!

Glitter · 27-01-2015 12:56pm

That's a good point about the cards/gifts.

You will also want a nominated person to run interference with the venue in case anything happens or needs clarified on the day itself so that you're not being bothered with minor details in the middle of it all.

smallerthanyou · 27-01-2015 9:29pm

Do whatever feels right! But bridesmaids do provide a focal point other than you if you are having a big wedding. They fill the dance floor, speak with people you may not get a chance to, if something is going wrong the can fix it before you hear of it. Stuff like that. Your brothers beside you would do same job. For smaller weddings you can definitely do without them.

Weddings, no bridesmaids?

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