Should I try to reconcile?

LegacyUser

While on a fourth month exchange abroad, I started seeing a girl. We got along well, and after I left we remained pretty good friends (messaged each other regularly on facebook, which were full blown conversations, not just idle messages). Later, she applied to do her exchange in Ireland to which she was accepted.

We continued messaging until she arrived, and on the first night we met in Ireland, we were both drunk and she was giving off inviting signals (taking my hand etc). Long story short, I stayed at her place that night. However, the following week she was embarrassed and tried to avoid me. Eventually I asked to see her to chat. I told her that I still liked her as more than a friend. She did not feel the same way, and that she had just been very drunk on that evening but wanted to remain friends.

That was understandable I guess, but after that, the communication just stopped. I messaged her once a while later telling her about some innocuous one-day Irish event she should check out while she was here. It was meant as a signal that I was OK with her 'rejection' of me and I did not send her any other message or bother her again - I left the ball in her court.

No message or contact ever came and eventually it seemed apparent to me that she was happy to leave me out of her life, despite all the communication we had shared previously. This hurt me and I eventually removed her from facebook and made no effort to speak to her in real life (and neither did she with me).

However, I have always been uncomfortable with how everything transpired, and I have learned lately that she actually may have felt some regret and remorse about how our friendship ended. Should I message her and simply say ''I'm sorry how things panned out". At the time I thought the fault was mainly hers, but in hindsight I drew the line when I cut her out of my life. I guess one of the reasons this remains pertinent in my mind is because we share some friends so I'd rather there was neutral ground between her and I, rather than what there is currently.

Tokyo

Hi OP,

to be honest, what happened between you two - seeing each other abroad and the subsequent drama in Ireland - does sound like something that she has moved on from, and is happy to leave in the past. Having said that, if all of this happened relatively recently, I don't see any harm in dropping her a text message to see how she's doing. Something along the lines of saying that you feel bad for the way things ended between you two, and you were just texting to see how she was doing. If she replies then good, but if not, then I would leave it be after that, and move on with your life, the same as she has.

LegacyUser

Much appreciated.

It did happen relatively recently. I just messaged her and apologised for how things turned out and I'm going to leave it there.

I feel better about the issue.