Lost

Daisies2014

I love my parents and there the best in the world but my siblings exclude me from everything I think its because im single, ive no children. Im in my 30s and they dont respect me they consider me still a kid. I only ever see them maybe 3 or 4 times a year and to be honest its enough. If I say anythin I get shot down straight away. I do make the effort to try but when ever I do i get a phonecall statin why i shouldnt from 2 of my siblings. Its quiet hard to be honest as I dont have many friends and the ones I do have there married or have kids so I dont go out cause iv nobody to go out with. The reasons ive came to this conclusion was there going on holiday and I said id go cause Iv not been on holidays in years and i have nobody to go with and as per usual i get the call, stating that id only be bored its a family holiday that they be going to bed early evening and wont be going out. I just wanted to go on holidays. So I backed out because the phonecall was heated and to satisfy them i backed out. Im an outcast in my own family because im single and if say anythin about it they will turn it back on me. Saying im ridicules. I am so upset about it that I cant even talk to my friends about it. Im sorry bout the spelling by the way im just lost and iv no idea what to do.

R.D. aka MR.D

Did you invite yourself along on someone else's holiday?

I don't think you can be annoyed if they didn't want you to come.

JeffKenna

If it were a group of single friends going on a holiday or a group holiday with a few families I can see why you might be offended at not bring wanted...however if it were a family holiday aka partners and kids I can't for the life of me see why you would expect to be invited/even what to go..

Daisies2014

Thank you for your replies however I was invited and I was asked for the money aswell, and I got a msg stating the details etc. The things is this kinda crap is happening on a regular basis.

JeffKenna

Well then something must have happened in the intervening period that you're not telling us?

Daisies2014

nope unless im not being told something, I just got phonecall lastnight, there all married with kids Im the only one thats not. They go off on things all the time I dont get invited to those events which I dont mind cause ya it would be boring to be honest. But this was a trip with my parents. If there was underline factors Id state them. I dont cause arguements I just walk away from all the drama. They argue alot to be honest when they start i go back to my own place. Then they ring me to bitch about each other and to be honest I dont answer the phone to them anymore. Im just hurt because its my parents, Iv little concern for my siblings, god forbit when my parents gone. I will never have any further dealings with any of my siblings again, there just not good people.

Keane2baMused

Frankly I think those who are saying 'why should the OP be invited or go on the holiday because the rest are married with kids' are totally wrong!

That's such a bad way of looking at it.

Why should the OP not be invited? Isn't it their choice to decide if the fact that it won't be a crazy singles holiday matters? Why would anyone purposely exclude a family member on the basis that they don't have a significant other and kids? Actually that's all the more reason why they SHOULD be asked along.

I would absolutely hate to leave a family member of mine out like that due to their single status.

OP you have a right to be upset. Tbh if it were me I would most likely not go. The harsh reality is it sounds like they would prefer if you didn't (awful) and I think it would probably ruin the holiday for you knowing that.

Daisies2014

Thank you but I dont want to upset my parents by causing argument so when one my siblings rang all they did was give out and say that id only be bored and its a family holiday like as if i wasnt family. So instead of getting upset on the phone I said ok ill stay at home. If I argued Id only upset my parents and I love them very much. What upsets me most its happening more frequently now. Its like Im being pushed out. I think Im better off leading a life on my own than having to deal with the fact that im an outcast. One my siblings actually stated "what would I no about bringing up a child, your not married and youve no children so you have no say". I was shocked really shocked. Its time I part ways with them.

Keane2baMused

Daisies2014 wrote: »

Thank you but I dont want to upset my parents by causing argument so when one my siblings rang all they did was give out and say that id only be bored and its a family holiday like as if i wasnt family. So instead of getting upset on the phone I said ok ill stay at home. If I argued Id only upset my parents and I love them very much. What upsets me most its happening more frequently now. Its like Im being pushed out. I think Im better off leading a life on my own than having to deal with the fact that im an outcast. One my siblings actually stated "what would I no about bringing up a child, your not married and youve no children so you have no say". I was shocked really shocked. Its time I part ways with them.

There in lies my point OP.

You would be banging your head against a brick wall talking to your siblings about it id imagine. As I said you are most likely better off at home knowing their attitude. Anyway, do you really want to spend a holiday with people who treat you like that?

I would still mention it to your parents. It doesn't need to cause a row or upset them. The fact is you are hurt.

It sounds like your siblings treat you like a bit of a doormat and know you will probably say nothing more on the subject. All the more reason why now is the time to pipe up and tell your parents how you feel you're treated and that you are considering cutting them out of your life.

Zanablue

Hi Daisies, I am sorry to hear that you are being treated like that, people can be so mean. Could you talk to your parents about it? and let them know whats going on.

Daisies2014

Keane2baMused wrote: »

There in lies my point OP.

You would be banging your head against a brick wall talking to your siblings about it id imagine. As I said you are most likely better off at home knowing their attitude. Anyway, do you really want to spend a holiday with people who treat you like that?

I would still mention it to your parents. It doesn't need to cause a row or upset them. The fact is you are hurt.

It sounds like your siblings treat you like a bit of a doormat and know you will probably say nothing more on the subject. All the more reason why now is the time to pipe up and tell your parents how you feel you're treated and that you are considering cutting them out of your life.

Thank You, However my parents are not very well do I dont want to burden them with issues with my siblings. I will part ways with them and only see my parents. Thank you for listening I had nobody else to chat to. Thanks x

Rubberchikken

They might think you'd be bored going on hols with partners and their kids.

Have you considered going on a singles holiday?
Good luck