Teaching English--don't want to charge

berger89

Have this in another forum also, probably not the right forum again! Feel free to move!

Today my work colleague who is Polish asked me if I would help her learn English. I agreed (coz I love languages! and Polish-I try to learn a little!) and (she had asked another girl in work who agreed, then after a week, said she couldn't teach her)

So she says, is 10euro per hour enough? I said, no way, I'm not helping you if you are going to charge me..but she is insisting.

I really want to help her, but I don't want to get paid for it. I'm not qualified, so it'd be so informal. I said, you can pay me with cups of tea and she is adamant that she will pay me with money.

How can I compromise? I don't want money, but I want to help her. Also, I said, sure I'd be learning Polish in return so it's a win win. And I said, you're a friend, I don't want your money. She won't let me help her unless she pays me. She has a house and a family to run. I don't have commitments so I don't need the money. If anything, it gets me out of the house (when I'm not working)

Any suggestions/compromises?
Thanks

RedemptionZ

It sounds to me like it's a pride thing on her behalf, we all have it to a degree, if she's not paying you she might in some way feel like she's 'below' you. It's stupid but it's along the same reasoning of when they say men don't ask for directions. Be tough to get her to let off on this, I know a lot of people like her and it's just the way they are and were raised.

Could you maybe rather than take the money in cash, ask her to donate it to a charity/donate it yourself? At least then there shouldn't be as much of a guilt factor. Or say when you're teaching her do it in a cafe and get her to pay for the coffees or something?

berger89

Well she said 'I want to pay you for your time'…and 'it's your free time' etc etc.

Nah we'll be doing the lessons at her house.

Yeah she seems pretty set and adamant that she'll pay me. I must say though..I'm kind of offended though! I know she means well, but I told her I won't do it if she's going to give me money. She's too nice, that's one of her things

dpofloinn

Instead of her giving you cash why not suggest that you do a trade, you help her with English and she helps you learn Polish

ems_12

Or suggest she provides coffee and cake/biscuits on the evenings you are teaching her? I did this with a Spanish friend who joined me for coffee to practice my Spanish.

Irish_Elect_Eng

I was in a similar position before and I could not persuade the person that I did not want to be paid. (Be careful a flat refusal to accept money can offend)

The approach that I took was to give the money back in "training materials"

In your case, each week you could buy a book or audio tape to help her with her study. "Homework" you could call it. Alternatively, you could use it to buy tickets for a play, cinema, class or other event that would be a good learning opportunity also.

In my case my "student" knew full well what I was doing, but it allowed him to save face and the materials that I provided certainly helped with his learning.

Jut my 2c.

delthedriver

Trading English lessons for Polish lessons seems a very fair trade.

It is a win win for both parties, does not cause any embarrassment or offence to anyone.

Enjoy !:)

mahamageehad

When I lived in Germany, the tandempartner system was very popular.

Basically you agree to spend e.g. 2 hours a week learning. The first hour you speak English together and the second hour you speak German. With the partner I used we would meet twice a week for an hour each time and alternate the premises. When it was at my house I'd provide the tea and biscuits and vice versa. I found it really useful and because we both felt like we were learning from each other and both languages were given an equal amount of time payment was never an issue.

Be aware though that it's not as simple as being there for an hour! You also need to think about time to prepare what the plan is and put some kind of structure in place, especially if you are not a teacher by trade. The system we used is that we would pick a topic at the end of the session and prepare for that next week e.g. Christmas, summer holidays, job, family etc. Things like simple handouts with the correct spellings can be invaluable to a learner to reference in future!

Oink

I understand OP's problem, as I have the same issue. Money in my eyes means business transaction. It involves responsibility, some sort of quality assurance etc.
I also understand the friend's position that they'll be getting something valuable for nothing.
I suggest you pick a charity yourself, set an amount which is big enough for her self-respect and small enough for her wallet in your opinion. The more business-like you make it the more she is likely to accept.