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Helping a dog grieve

  • 21-01-2015 11:55am
    #1
    minipink
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 90 ✭✭


    I have been a carer for my grandmother for the past 14 years, she is currently dying of respiratory failure. Lola, my dog is 3, because my granny was housebound and had carers in during the day when I did my other job from 8.30-2.30, she has never spent a minute on her own. She wouldn't interact with my granny when I'm not there but does when I am.
    Before we had to get the carer in, Lola was doing separation anxiety style behaviour such as eating the wall even though my granny was there, she is very attached to me. And because the job of caring for someone is so time filling I am with her most of the time and take her for a break from the house wherever I go bar work. She has a frozen kong in the morning that she sometimes leaves tip I come home, I've no bite spray on the walls, she has a thunder shirt (only used occasionally if it's stormy before work)and DAP and rescue remedy in breakfast as it is. She also gets walked for 30 mins before I leave. I feel like I've let her down by not training her into being alone but with the life I had I was not going out and my granny was always at home.
    So now she's going to be left alone between 8.30-2.30 on weekdays. My mum reckons she will be fine and honestly I don't mind a bit of damage as she settles into being alone - she will have my cat too for company. She is totally out of sorts since before my granny was rushed to hospital. She wouldn't play with her toys when my granny was in the room for the past few weeks. Now that my granny is in hospital, and theres a vigil at her bedside I am spending time with her and going back to Lola who is being minded by friends for periods. She is so out of sorts and definitely can pick up on things. For the wake and funeral time I'd love to have her around but think that would stress her more so my friend has offered to take her overnight.
    So two questions, how do I help her develop a new normal - her brother's owner died (my granny doesn't own lola) and the healthy dog is currently in UCD vets with an undiagnosed illness after pining for the man for 4 months. I don't want this to happen to Lola, she's my life. How do I help her cope?
    Then regarding daycare and walkers, I'm in Malahide and work in Portmarnock so once a month I have a staff meeting until 5 and I would need it for then and perhaps until she can cope with being alone at home.
    Thanks in advance for all the advice


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