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Affair

  • 18-01-2015 12:26pm
    #1
    Censorsh!t
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,121 ✭✭✭


    Hi,


    This is very sudden. This morning I overheard my parents fighting, and my mom has kicked my dad out, and it seems to be over him having an affair. I didn't hear him deny it, so I can only assume that its true.

    I'm in shock and don't know what to do.

    They've never had a perfect relationship, there was always a lot of fighting, but I never really expected this. My dad has a lot of female friends, but I never thought he would do that. Although I would have had suspicions of him being close to other women, I didn't think it would have been so far.

    Me and my mom are not close. Although we have out good days, in general we don't see eye to eye. And I've become less close with my dad over the years. I don't know how I am supposed to react. I want to be there for my mom, but it's tough.

    I'm under a lot of stress at the moment with college and don't know how I'm going to deal with this too. I don't know whether to tell anyone, who of my friends I could confide in.


Comments

  • #2
    piperh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 989 ✭✭✭piperh


    Firstly please try and find a friend or even better a neutral adult to confide in. Once you've discussed it calmly then when the time the split/affair comes up with your parents you'll be better equipped to deal with it emotionally.

    Remember this is between them and does not need to impact on your relationship with either. You can support your mom without taking sides just by listening if she wants to talk. She may be bitter and angry but if so just stay calm and say nicely you won't be taking sides because you love them both regardless.

    They are still mom and dad and that won't change.


  • #3
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    With an abrupt split like this, it's hard to predict what'll happen next. It's quite possible that things have moved very quickly in the hours since you posted this. For the dealing with your mum/dad, I think play it by ear is the best advice I can give you.

    Definitely talking to someone would help if you know anyone who'd be a good listener. I was going to suggest an aunt or uncle but they're not going to be neutral. Though on the other hand, you could have a relative who'd be the perfect person to talk to and would have your best interests at heart.

    If you don't feel you can talk face to face with someone you know just yet, would you consider giving The Samaritans a call on 116 123? They're not just for suicidal people. You could also make an appointment with the counselling service in your college.


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