Engagement

lisheenking

Hi,
was thinking off proposing to my gf this year but her sister is due to get married at the end of the year also. Would it be a bad idea to propose the same year as her sister is getting married?i know her parents would have no problem with it but i would be worried about the sister...advice appreciated thanks

bee06

Depends on the sister really, I personally would be delighted if it was me but then some women are a bit weird about it. I know one girl who told all her bridesmaids they weren't allow get engaged in the same year she was getting married. How is the sister about the wedding? Relaxed or a bit bridezilla-ish?

Harika

Similar situation for us, got engaged and wedding booked for 18 months in the future. Sister then got engaged some months later and my bride was pissed because tradition says as soon as you are engaged all close relatives are blocked from getting engaged until after your wedding is over. When then asking around it is one of the unwritten rules, you obey or not.
imo ask her sister to be on the safe side.

eviltwin

Imho life is too short to wait. If you feel the time is right ask her. Its not going to upstage the sister if her wedding is nearly a year away. Its only January...by the time the wedding rolls round your engagement will be old news.

Arbiter of Good Taste

OP if you want to ask your girlfriend, ask. You can't live your life to please everyone. I wouldn't set the date too close, though, as that might put pressure on relatives of the bride to go to two weddings in close sussession. But otherwise, I don't see a problem

mrsbyrne

I'd never heard of this unwritten rule until now. My now husband and his brother got engaged to us two current wives on the same day. Total coincidence . I certainly had no feelings of my thunder being stolen or whatever. I was delighted with my ring. It was hardly a shock. We'd been living together for years.
It never occurred to me at the time that the other sister in law would be miffed or huffy either. Never occurred.

Neyite

Seriously, are some idiots that fecking precious and princessy that they get the hump about another couple getting engaged the same YEAR as their wedding??? This type should not be pandered to. If you do then they will only be encouraged to go fully insufferable and start demanding bikes and expensive mixers on invites.

I'm so grateful I know nobody like that in real life. The only consideration should be, imo, to not have the weddings too close together out of consideration for your guests finances, as weddings can be a bit of an expensive time for guests.

tinkerbell

bee06 wrote: »

Depends on the sister really, I personally would be delighted if it was me but then some women are a bit weird about it. I know one girl who told all her bridesmaids they weren't allow get engaged in the same year she was getting married. How is the sister about the wedding? Relaxed or a bit bridezilla-ish?

Harika wrote: »

Similar situation for us, got engaged and wedding booked for 18 months in the future. Sister then got engaged some months later and my bride was pissed because tradition says as soon as you are engaged all close relatives are blocked from getting engaged until after your wedding is over. When then asking around it is one of the unwritten rules, you obey or not.
imo ask her sister to be on the safe side.

This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!!! People are blocked from getting engaged?! WTF!

OP, you not attempt to ask the sister for permission - it is none of her business when / where / how you propose. Go ahead and just propose.

Harika

tinkerbell wrote: »

This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!!! People are blocked from getting engaged?! WTF!

I totally agree with you, as long as there is a gap between the weddings, for the reasons above, it is fine.

bjork

What? Are you just looking for excuses not to propose or something? Her sister doesn´t own the year? What about the year after, it will be the first year the sister is married, you couldn´t spoil that year too by over shadowing her wedding that year. The if she is pregnant, it wouldn´t be the right time either because she´d be pregnant!


If you want to do it just do it. It´s not her sister you`re asking

Milly33

Again as all said it depends on the woman, the sister.. If it was me id go for it and sod her if she gets a bee in her bonnet but them to keep it safe maybe ask..Ask the mum first, I was going to say sister but if she cant be trusted with a secret tis a big risk

pooch90

If the wedding is at the end of the year then go for it. Just don't leave it til the month before or anything but if you're planning to do it in next couple of months then the sister has nothing to be moaning about.

lisheenking

Thanks a million for all the replies....we wouldnt be planning on getting married for another year and a half to two years anyway so that shouldnt be a problem for all concerned....her birthday is in june so i am planning on taking her away on a holiday and doing it there....

pooch90

What month is the sisters wedding?

lisheenking

its on news years eve

pooch90

Ah she can't whinge then and if she does she'd want to get over herself. Go for it and best of luck!

solerina

lisheenking wrote: »

its on news years eve

June engagement and New Years eve wedding...miles apart. Don't worry about what the sister thinks.


Get engaged !!! Good luck

Gatica

Never heard of this daft unwritten rule. Some people are engaged for ages, does that mean everyone else has to wait all that time to get engaged or married?! We were engaged almost 2 years, I know of others being engaged almost 3 if not more... It's ridiculous. If it's a rule of succession, you'd have couples waiting into their 50 while their friends or siblings get married in order....

Just get engaged, it's not like you're going to be celebrating your engagement for 4 months, then having a wedding in the same venue 2 weeks before their wedding, and then announcing a pregnancy a couple of months later... If they're that worried about their thunder being stolen, then they deserve it all the more (and it's not like you know this anyway).

bjork

Gatica wrote: »

Never heard of this daft unwritten rule. ....

I googled it, I never heard of this unwritten rule before and neither has google. I call bridezillla on this ****.

SMJSF

The future sister in law shouldn't stop you from proposing.
Do it when YOU want!
both will be getting married at some stage!