Moving abroad nobody cares

LegacyUser

This issue probably seems very trivial but for some reason its bothering me. I was on Facebook the other day and happened to see a status from one of my "friends" I.e a guy I don't actually talk to and it said "off to Australia, thanks to everyone for coming out on Saturday to say goodbye". It got something like 230 likes.

The reason this bothered me is because in 2 weeks I'll be also leaving the country and nowhere near that amount of people care. I won't be having a going away party or anything, I'm actually leaving the country to get out of a rut that I'm in both socially and career wise. At most I'll have drinks with 3 people and maybe go for a meal with my parents. I know its childish to get worked up over such a thing, but I can't help but feel it puts my crap social life into context.

This guy had loads of people show up to a going away party (although there were 3 of them going). I'm not even sure what advice Im in need of. Maybe I should delete Facebook if I'm that sensitive to comparing my life to others??

skallywag

nobodyknowsmeee1 wrote: »

...It got something like 230 likes...I'll be also leaving the country and nowhere near that amount of people care

OP, I certainly would not equate likes on FB with actually caring. Most people can count those people who really care about them in this life on one hand, maximum two.

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

ZzubZzub

I think you're being a little sensitive.

Will you get to spend time with, and say goodbye to the people who really matter the most to you before you leave?

When I left Ireland, I had a small gathering of family and 3 friends. Some people like to invite anyone they've ever met to their going-away parties.

Maybe so many people liked his post on facebook cause they're happy he's leaving

Good luck with the move, I hope everything works out for you.

December2012

So he is more popular than you? So what?

You said yourself that you don't have many friends and you're in a rut socially. Some people are great at making and keeping friends, even the Facebook type ones such as you are to this person.

If you want more friends then you have to be more friendly, more interactive, more sociable, and less jealous.

Good luck to you on your travels. If this has highlighted something in your life you want for yourself then go for it!

Dutchess

That is very circumstantial. People may have just been in the mood to go out and the leaving do was their excuse, says nothing about their love for this guy. Also, do you know how many people there actually were at the party? I doubt it was all 230 that liked the status (sure, for all you know 230 people are happy to seem him go, like Cleeo says).A Facebook like, one click of a mouse is more likely to represent someone being bored at work, than someone actually sniffling into a box of tissue because this bloke is off to Australia.

Of course, that's all very easy to say about someone else's situation. Facebook has become very much a place to compare yourself to others (check out this pic to illustrating some of our favourite websites http://apt46.net/wp-content/upload/seven-deadly-sites.jpg). I couldn't hack being on Facebook anymore and I exchanged my personal profile for an anonymous one so I can 'like' certain pages, I do not add 'friends' on it. Being totally honest, it has left me out of the loop as so many people use Facebook for events but in my opinion, if someone cares about me being somewhere, they can manage a text message. So maybe deleting your Facebook is not such a bad thing.

Stavro Mueller

If most people are honest, they'll tell you that they only actually have a handful of close friends. In other words you're not unusual in that your going away meal is going to be low key. You said yourself you're in a rut so why you expected your Facebook page to light up like a Christmas tree with "likes" I'm not sure.

You know as well as I do that this guy has nothing even approaching that amount of friends in real life. It could have been a matter of timing that his post showed up when it did on his Facebook feed and hit all those likes. I've seen it myself on a more modest scale. Yesterday a photo I posted on FB ages ago and not really noticed was spotted by a friend and commented upon. Next thing everyone seemed to be noticing it. What I'm trying to say in a roundabout way is that Facebook can be pretty random sometimes.

I bet this guy's leaving do was a lot more modest than the number of likes he got. I bet he doesn't even know half his fb friends but people just decided to like it because there was a bit of bandwagon jumping going on and because they were wishing a young person well. He may also be an active Facebook user and people enjoy what he posts.

Facebook isn't real life. You never read posts about how someone has just spent the evening cleaning out the kitchen presses, has just had a row with their other half or has just spent Saturday night watching winning streak and Brendan O'Connor. I wouldn't automatically suggest you delete yours because it could be a useful way of keeping in touch with people over the next while. You may need to accept though that you aren't the sort of person that's going to have dozens of friends. Some people are naturally gregarious and have loads of friends, drinking buddies etc. Going back to my original point though- even these people who seem to be really popular may only have that handful of genuine friends either.

Anyway, enough of that. Best of luck with your move.

Sir Oxman

skallywag wrote: »

OP, I certainly would not equate likes on FB with actually caring. Most people can count those people who really care about them in this life on one hand, maximum two.

OP
This post is the truth.

DoYouEvenLift

You are not him. You are also not Brad Pitt. Does that also effect you? You are an entirely separate individual and you shouldn't compare yourself to anyone unless it's to help you focus on bettering yourself as much as you can. There will always be people better than every single one of us in certain aspects of life but it's up to us to allow that to either be used to motivate us to keep improving or let it make us feel negative and insecure and stop trying.

Yurt2

I've realized something over the past couple of years, if you take a look around and take stock there are probably about than half a dozen people in my life that I can really truly trust, who will go to bat for me and I for them. I'm also a social animal and have hundreds of facebook 'friends', evreyone else kind of drifts in and out of your life and that's ok too. I cultivate, treasure and nurture my friendships with those half dozen above all.

Dracula!

Facebook has a lot to answer for in my opinion.

sadie06

FB is a pile of nonsense. Nobody, and I mean nobody has 230 friends, nor would anyone need that many! If the three people you are going for a meal with are good friends that's really a lovely thing, and your parents love you.

Really, don't invest any more time into thinking about that, but rather look to the future. If Facebook makes you feel inadequate (and it does for a lot of people) leave it, at least for a while.

iusedtoknow

When I left Ireland, I had a afternoon in my favourite bar with 4 of my close friends, followed the next night by a quiet dinner with my family (which was the night before I left)

That was it - no big hooopla, nothing. Most people who emigrate have the same story - a few close friends will be sad to see you go, but will get on with their own lives in the same way you are.

259 likes on facebook is nothing - the odds are the majority are bored at work, and the rest are serial "likers". The odds are are also on that he had a small going away do, and nothing more.

You need to quit facebook and start living your own life, not on the perception of others

Rubberchikken

You have 3 good friends who will send you off. That's something to be happy about.

Don't compare yourself with anyone else.
And i doubt that 230 likes mean anything genuine. I woukd tend to take things like that with a gigantic pinch of salt.

Enjoy your trip

Sir Oxman

Please OP realise that all that posted above are telling the truth.
No greater truism that on one hand can you count your true friends.
Marvellous to have another 5 or 10 acquaintances but not really necessary.
You're lucky to have 3 friends who care - the rest is superfluous.
I guess you're young and this advice means nothing?
Take it from an aul fella of 47
Enjoy your new life and if it doesn't work out you are guaranteed a warm hug and welcome and support from your close friends and family.
The other 300 FB friends (this applies to everyone) won't give a fck and will probably click like even on a post of yours which tells them you're in trouble.
Best of luck abroad!

LegacyUser

It's a personal gripe of mine but this story highlights one of my all time biggest hates, that is Facebook's hijacking and misuse of the word "like".