Terrified that Ive contracted HIV.

wakka12

Sorry if this is a little in-depth and sexual, but Im so worried and need answers Ok well Im 19 and bisexual and I met this guy when i was out with my friends . He's 22. I went home with him, to his house. We kissed, then did oral, without a condom. Then tried anal, but i was a virgin so it couldn't fit in. We didn't have lube, so he spat on his penis instead but still didn't work(could the spit give me hiv??) so we have up on that. We also used a condom for the anal. Then we just kissed, and did more oral and he came on my face. I swallowed some of it.

Sorry I feel so akward even saying this online anon people, never mind a doctor or parent Im worried sick. anyway this was sunday night around 11pm. I was fine the next day, but then the afternoon after that (36 hours later) I got sick.

My symptoms were flu-like. At first I woke up with a sore throat, not that painful but yeh, It cleared fair quickly. Then A few hours later I got a bad head ache. Felt dizzy. Later I got hot, with a fever and temperature and got chills. I also felt a bit sick in the stomach but didn't vomit.I also felt exhausted and lay down all day. I took medicine and felt fine by 11pm that day. Then i woke up at 5am feeling awful,, took medicine. Felt fine by 9am this morning. Not perfect, but a lot better. Now i just have a slight head ache, and will rest all day. I don't know if my illness is getting better or if the medicine is just delaying any discomfort or whatever.

Please answer, any help would be greatly appreciated, Im sick with worry. and I don't know if this mental stress was worsening symptoms, it was all I could think of yesterday. As I had no cough or sneezing a cold or flu is unlikely as is food poisoning . and I rarely get sick, so thats why I'm so scared.

wakka12

Also I still talk to the guy, and I don't know whether to ask him if he's ever been tested for HIV or not. Is it okay to ask somebody that? Ugh i feel like I may have made the biggest mistake of my life!

Rick_

A HIV test will not give accurate results until 3 months after infection, so any test done before then will not be accurate and you will need to be tested again after these 3 months have passed. The symptoms don't usually show up until a few weeks after infection, so getting cold like symptoms this early is possibly co-incidence.

If you feel so strongly that something is wrong, go and speak to your doctor or someone at an STI clinic. Don't worry about being embarrassed, they've seen and heard it all, plus they won't want details of why you want the test, so it shouldn't be embarrassing for you. It's your health after all, nothing to be embarrassed about.

Perhaps mention to this guy that you were feeling unwell after your encounter and ask him how he is doing. Coming straight out with questions about HIV and testing may give off the wrong impression and he may take offence.

Let us know how you get on, and most of all, try not to worry so much about it. Chances are you probably haven't got anything to worry about and if the absolute worst happens and you have an infection, you're getting help at the earliest possible opportunity so there's no reason why it should affect your life span or ability to lead a normal life as you are now.

wakka12

Paddy C wrote: »

Go to your doctor if you feel something isn't right. All you have to tell them is that you don't feel well, they won't want to hear a blow by blow (pardon the pun) account of your night. This could be just co-incidence, just because you don't get sick often, doesn't mean you didn't just happen to catch a cold or flu by chance. The symptoms of your body fighting a HIV infection don't usually show up until a few weeks after.

The risk of transmitting HIV by oral sex is quite low, but it can only be transferred from person to person by sperm, blood, pre-cum and mucus found in the anus. If you have contracted HIV you don't usually feel any effects for a few weeks after and it is a short cold. Then you may experience nothing for years. However, it can take between three weeks and three months after you have been infected with HIV for the virus to show up in testing and you should have another test 3 months after your first one. But certainly, if you feel like you may be at risk, go and speak to your doctor or an STI clinic for the best advice. It is your health and is more important than a few embarrassed feelings you'll experience. They won't ask or need to know the details, they will just test you (usually just a simple blood withdrawal, and let you know the result as soon as they can, sometimes even the same day.

I wouldn't go blurting anything out to this guy just yet. Perhaps bring up in conversation that you aren't feeling well since your encounter and ask him how he has been. Mention that you are going to get tested and it will be a regular thing (it should anyway) and perhaps ask if he has ever been tested. Don't just come straight out with it as it could make things sour between you. It may be asked in innocence but people can get offended, as if you are insinuating to them that they are slutty and would possibly have STD's regularly.

Haha thanks a million, this gave me a bit of relief
also, if i did happen to come back positive. Would the treatment be lengthy and expensive? would i have to tell my parents I had HIV? I have health insurance and a bit of money, not a lot mind you( as in 2.5k euro). But Im not even out to my parents Id rather just keep it quiet and tell them I'm being treated for some flu. But i don't know if that'll be possible

Paulownia

you are panicking and you don't need to. you probably had a hangover or ate something that disagreed with you or even had some kind of a bug brought on by stress. On the other hand if you are having sex again with someone you do not know do not exchange body fluids, keep a condom handy.

Rick_

I changed my reply to be a bit better worded and clearer, so just wondering if you have read it yet as the quote you have in your post is the old version (perhaps edit your post to remove that for clarity's sake).

I have no idea on treatments or cost etc. I am just giving you some information that is freely available online. I'm sure that there are some members on here who have said that they are HIV+ and perhaps they will publically or privately contact you and offer you support with any issues or questions you have.

L1011

While the flu-like symptoms for seroconversion can be useful as a sign - people also do get the flu. And the chances of catching the flu from kissing someone is pretty high. And three days is pretty quick for seroconversion.

Last time I worked in the medical sector all HIV treatments were on the hitech scheme and hence entirely free to the end user, this is very unlikely to have changed. Treatment is currently life-long as there is no cure.

Annasopra

The best thing to do is get tested asap.

Youll find locations of testing services at
http://www.man2man.ie/

L1011

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

The best thing to do is get tested asap.

Youll find locations of testing services at
http://www.man2man.ie/

Four days out from potential exposure is too soon for testing to be reliable. Getting tested is a good idea, doing it immediately though won't show anything

Annasopra

L1011 wrote: »

Four days out from potential exposure is too soon for testing to be reliable. Getting tested is a good idea, doing it immediately though won't show anything

Yes thats why testing is done 3 months later!

Personally I would reccomend testing asap and then again in 3 months

wakka12

Thanks for the help everyone
also is it a good sign that my symptoms have almost completely cleared within 24 hours? Heache, fever etc are gone (with the help of a few medicines, echinae, dispirin, panadol, calpol, lots of water) all I have now is a slightly sore throat and possibly slightly swollen glands/lymph nodes in my neck/throat area. but they're not even that sore.
Hoping this was just a 24 hour bug that coincidentally occurred around this time.

Locker10a

wakka12 wrote: »

Thanks for the help everyone
also is it a good sign that my symptoms have almost completely cleared within 24 hours? Heache, fever etc are gone (with the help of a few medicines, echinae, dispirin, panadol, calpol, lots of water) all I have now is a slightly sore throat and possibly slightly swollen glands/lymph nodes in my neck/throat area. but they're not even that sore.
Hoping this was just a 24 hour bug that coincidentally occurred around this time.

sounds like glandular fever to be honest!! I wouldn't worry but just be careful in future and its no harm to be tested in a few months as has been advised

Rick_

Perhaps the other guy was just getting over a cold or had himself just started and this is what has happened you. I highly doubt the symptoms are the cold experienced after a HIV infection. It's far too early for it. Like weve said, go get tested and get tested again in 3 months to make sure.

Ten of Swords

Op take a deep breath, you are seriously overreacting here!

Let's look at this realistically, you are most likely fine but it won't hurt to get checked out as other posters have said. Firstly, there is little point in getting a HIV test for about 3-4 months as results before then will be inconclusive.

With this in mind an STI test would be a good idea, HIV is probably the worst infection you can get but it is not the only one so for peace of mind get checked out! Also, get another one in a few months.

wakka12 wrote: »

so he spat on his penis instead but still didn't work(could the spit give me hiv??)

99.99% no. Saliva is a poor medium and you would require an awful lot of it to catch HIV. Also, as you did not actually have anal sex there is not much of an oppertunity for it to have gotten into your system unless you have any cuts or scratches.

wakka12 wrote: »

did more oral and he came on my face. I swallowed some of it.

You should NEVER do this with a stranger, this is why I would strongly recommend an STI test.

Look it's January and it's freezing, I'd say you have a cold like most of the population! As for telling parents and costs of treatment etc, one step at a time, calm yourself

St James Hospital in Dublin do a free, walk in STI clinic
http://www.guideclinic.ie/

hfallada

OP I advise you to do a little reading up on HIV transm. Its not the easiest STI to catch at all. HIV struggles to live outside the body and can only be spread through exchange of bodily fluids eg sharing needles, unprotected sex. The chances of getting HIV from spit are pretty much zero. The chances of getting HIV from oral is pretty small too. Just dont brush your teeth for 2 hours after oral and apparently shallowing is better than spitting. If there is no open sore or cut on your mouth. There is no way for HIV to enter the body. Plus the salvia has chemicals in it to fight infection. You used a condom during sex. Unless it broke there was no way for HIV to enter the body.

You are panicking over nothing tbh. I have a feeling you have what some people call catholic boy guilt. By hooking up with a guy, you feel you have done something wrong. But you havent. The sypmtons of HIV cant be felt for weeks.

OP I suggest you go to the GMHS on Baggot or any free STI clinic and get free Hep shots to prevent Hepatitis. Which is super easy to contract unlike HIV. You have done nothing wrong. You are over thinking

wakka12

Thank you so much to everyone who has replied! you've all been beyond helpful honestly, I will still get tested but Im much more at ease now. I was pretty much having panic attacks all yesterday But since my symptoms went I feel a lot better.I think the anxiety and guilt was worsening the flu/bug symptoms. If it does turn out that I don't have HIV, which it hopefully will, Ill actually be kind of glad this big scare happened because it will make me so much more careful about safe sex in future. Don't think I could ever take the stress of this again!

wakka12

hfallada wrote: »

You are panicking over nothing tbh. I have a feeling you have what some people call catholic boy guilt. By hooking up with a guy, you feel you have done something wrong. But you havent. The sypmtons of HIV cant be felt for weeks.

Haha literally I have had a lot of trouble coming to terms with my sexuality and I feel so ashamed of what I did, and with a stranger! I know that it wasn't wrong but I still feel dirty and cheap.

floggg

wakka12 wrote: »

Haha literally I have had a lot of trouble coming to terms with my sexuality and I feel so ashamed of what I did, and with a stranger! I know that it wasn't wrong but I still feel dirty and cheap.

Believe me, you aren't the first man to have a freak out after your first same sex sexual encounter and you won't be the last. I recall racing to a shop to buy listerine to gurgle after my first time giving oral out of fear I had caught something (which on reflection would have done nothing to kill a virus AFAIK).

Don't stress it or let you get you down.

wakka12

Got tested yesterday evening. Glad to just have it done now! If anyone is looking for a place to get an STI test i highly recommend the gay mans health service, upper baggot street. Very welcoming staff,its free, and walk in, no appointment needed. never thought I could feel so relaxed talking to an old lady about butt sex! But results come next week. Bit nervous, but excited too. They reassured me that its highly unlikely I have HIV, so I can't wait to (hopefully) just put these last two months of paranoia and anxiety behind me and get on with my life.

eviltwin

wakka12 wrote: »

Got tested yesterday evening. Glad to just have it done now! If anyone is looking for a place to get an STI test i highly recommend the gay mans health service, upper baggot street. Very welcoming staff,its free, and walk in, no appointment needed. never thought I could feel so relaxed talking to an old lady about butt sex! But results come next week. Bit nervous, but excited too. They reassured me that its highly unlikely I have HIV, so I can't wait to (hopefully) just put these last two months of paranoia and anxiety behind me and get on with my life.

Well done on getting tested and I'm sure you will be fine so try not to worry. Easier said than done of course! Hopefully you won't have to wait too long for confirmation.

wakka12

And can I just point out how horrendous sex ed is in Irish schools! The last time I was educated on sex was in first and second year, when we were 13 or 14! Would have been much more use when we were 17+ and people were beginning to become sexually active like. But nope, not one bit of sex ed (well in the two schools I attended ) throughout 4th -6th year. Which I think is just ridiculous. Is it up to teenagers this age to find out about stds for themselves? I hardly remember anything they even told us from 1st and 2nd year, because I hardly knew what sex was then. So talking about hiv and condoms kind of went in one ear and out the other.

But anyway, prior to my research on HIV this is what I thought.
I thought HIV was a nickname for AIDS.
I thought anyone who caught it died, and there was no treatment.
I thought it only affected poor people (africans) and didn't exist in Ireland.
I didn't know it disproportionately affected gay men.
I didn't know anal sex was the main way it spread.

I also thought AIDS/HIV was the only std that could kill you.

I think thats all pretty vital info for any teenager over 16. Am I just an ignorant teenager? are my peers much more in the know than me about stds and sex? Some how I doubt it.

Locker10a

wakka12 wrote: »

And can I just point out how horrendous sex ed is in Irish schools! The last time I was educated on sex was in first and second year, when we were 13 or 14! Would have been much more use when we were 17+ and people were beginning to become sexually active like. But nope, not one bit of sex ed (well in the two schools I attended ) throughout 4th -6th year. Which I think is just ridiculous. Is it up to teenagers this age to find out about stds for themselves? I hardly remember anything they even told us from 1st and 2nd year, because I hardly knew what sex was then. So talking about hiv and condoms kind of went in one ear and out the other.

But anyway, prior to my research on HIV this is what I thought.
I thought HIV was a nickname for AIDS.
I thought anyone who caught it died, and there was no treatment.
I thought it only affected poor people (africans) and didn't exist in Ireland.
I didn't know it disproportionately affected gay men.
I didn't know anal sex was the main way it spread.

I also thought AIDS/HIV was the only std that could kill you.

I think thats all pretty vital info for any teenager over 16. Am I just an ignorant teenager? are my peers much more in the know than me about stds and sex? Some how I doubt it.

No I think you're education when it comes to HIV is pretty much the same as everyone else in the country.
In defence of the irish education system I was taught sex ed every single year of secondary school!! And extensively in Transotion year, actually in transition year we learned in depth about EVERY form of contraception and at the time I knew all the facts about all contraceptives. I felt more then adequately informed about safe sex and sexual health education when I finished secondary school! But maybe that was just my school !! And it was a catholic school btw. Had a priest teach religion class etc .

Kevin McCloud

Clear cut message is wear a condom, and or get your partner to wear one too, plenty of lube and if it don't fit don't force it.

Ash885

Sex education is coming along in scools and recently second level have been targeted with this, which is always a good thing. Along with different types of relations, i.e. gay and lesbian sex. Maybe a little late for some but at least it's positive change. Tbh though coupled with my parents and my own "research" as they say, I had a very clear view on what HIV was and wasn't from an early age. It still doesn't and probably will never eliminate ALL doubt when you have sex with someone but using protection and having the facts now is the best defence.

wakka12

Tested negative for every single STD! can't even begin to describe how relieved I feel Thank you all for your help!