Why can't I get a girlfriend

LegacyUser

Hi, I'm not going to give my name but I'm a 16 year old secondary school student. All of my friends have been in relationships but I just cannot manage to get into any sort of relationship with a girl, of course I have a lot if female friends but have never had a relationship. I wouldn't exactly consider myself extremely unattractive either. I'm 6 foot,black hair, muscley enough build. The only insecurity I have are my glasses, which I wear all the time. It's not like I'm a bad guy. I have loads of friends, I'm an active member of my red cross unit and have put in over 60+ hours of duty in the past 6 months excluding training, I'm a garda achievement award nominee, and I'm very good at school. I'm not a "nerd" either, I socialise a lot

Matteroffact

You just didn't meet the right person yet. You are way too young to be concerned about all of this. You have plenty of time to meet a girl. Forget about what others your age are doing.

zl1whqvjs75cdy

Didn't have my first girlfriend till I was nearly 19. Don't worry at all op it'll happen.

bp

I didn't get a bf until I was 20, enjoy being young :-)

strobe

I think your group of friends are something of an anomaly OP. Most 16 year olds wouldn't have been in a relationship.

From the sounds of it you've quite a lot going for you. Tall, built, social and motivated. Women eat that stuff up man. You'll more than likely be beating them off with a big sh1tty stick for most of your life. So don't sweat it right now. Just try to enjoy yourself however you like to and when you meet someone and you click with each other, you can enjoy that when it comes.

Buona Fortuna

Interesting thread a few months back. What advice would an older you give to your teenage self.

Overwhelmingly it was relax, let it happen.

Your friends might just be exaggerating and enhancing what they say about their relationships.

I was 17, nearly 18 before I had a girlfriend. Thankfully she was at a different school.

I didn't think about it at the time but having a relationship with someone at the same school must be fraught with difficulty. The amount of time that you see each other. The scrutiny of each other and of everyone else. :eek:

Pat Mustard

kmorg1998 wrote: »

The only insecurity I have are my glasses, which I wear all the time.

The only thing that's holding you back is your insecurity.

Short cut out of that in your case is to get contact lenses. To the optician with you. Also consider shopping around for a pair of glasses that make you look good.

Stavro Mueller

Most people will tell you that the more you want a girlfriend, the less chance there is that you'll have one. Women can sense the desperation a mile off and it'll have them running to the hills. Try not to let your insecurity get to you. Of course, it's easy for me to say that because it's a long time since I was a 16 year old. You sound great. Not every lad your age can be bothered to get involved in the local red cross, nor to work out. As for the glasses, that's no biggie. The Mustard got in ahead of me with the very same advice I was going to give. There are so many young people around with glasses these days it's no biggie. I don't think having glasses has impaired many people's love lives to tell the truth. If you think your glasses aren't doing you justice, see if you can get a nice fashionable pair. Contact lenses are great too, especially these days with all the choice there is.

I think it's simply a case of you not meeting the right girl yet. In time I've no doubt you'll meet a girl who'll be only too delighted to go out with you. When you socialise, try not to view every girl you meet through a "girlfriend" prism either. In its own way it's feeding back into the insecurity thing I wrote about in the previous paragraph. Anyway, try not to get overstressed over this. I thought when I opened this thread that you'd be in your 30s or something. You're only 16 - you've got LOADS of time.

Tea-a-Maria

Plenty of great advice above. Don't panic, take your time and you'll find the right girl eventually.

On the glasses point, don't think they make someone less attractive. I for one love a man with glasses. A good pair that suits a man's face can make him look very handsome.

kylith

You list a lot of very good qualities that you have, but you don't say what you have done to 'get' a girlfriend. Do you socialise with girls? Have you asked any girls if they'd like to go for a coffee or to the cinema with you?

Cork981

WAY to young to be looking for a girlfriend. Enjoy yourself, have a laugh with friends, meet new people. You'll be 18 soon enough and you'll want to enjoy heading out town with the lads acting the fool and making good memories.

I'm happy I done it that that way anyway !

ladygirl

Lots of people dont enter into a relationship until later in life.

On the glasses front however have you ever considered getting contact lenses.
I got them when I was a young teenager due to my sports commitments.

When I played sports I found glasses a nuisance. My parents got me contact lenses and I haven,t looked back since.. I used to still wear my glasses to school etc however on weekends/discos or for sports etc I could wear my contacts.

Might be something worth looking into. However someone should want to be with you regardless of your contacts/glasses. But I do understand how someone could be conscious of wearing them all the time. I know I was.