Want your opinion!

seppep77

Ok,
So there is this guy, and years ago we kissed one night, and had made plans to hook up again, which, just never happened due to moving etc etc. . .so, a few months back out of the blue he contacts me. We text over and back, and arrange to meet up with friends for a night out, and end up hooking up that night. After that we went on a few "dates". He works away, so did not see him again for a while, but would occasionally text.
One night I ended up kissing a mutual friend, and then all of a sudden I hear nothing from the first guy. But we were not even a "casual" thing, as barely saw each other and only occasionally spoke, so I didnt think it would be a big deal.
So months pass, we would have some communication via fb and snapchat etc etc, but nothing much. Another mutual friend said he brought up me in a conversation one night, and he had said, it was my fault it had gone like it did, as i kissed the other person. So it obviously did bother him.
Then, a few months later, he contacts again, texts over and back, for ages, and we end up bumping in to each other on a night out again, and get together again. Now, I was the one who made sure we bumped in to each other, not him. So I dont think he was trying to hook up, I initiated it all! Earlier that night he got annoyed with me for chatting to another guy. He didnt make a deal of it, but just ,mentioned it. So has a good night, left on good terms, Then, nothing again! No reply to texts, snaps, nothing.
A couple of weeks pass, hes away, and then hes texting again.
What do I make of all that? Is he just not interested at all, and am I the backup girl? opinions please!

Tokyo

At first glance it sounds like wants something more than a casual hook-up - at the very least he does seem to be getting bent out of shape at the thought of you hooking up with other people. The question is, do YOU want something more with him? And if so, is it even feasible if you are still living far apart? If so, you're going to need to talk to him about where you both would like this to go. Casual hook-up's don't seem to be doing it for him, so you may have to either commit to more, or walk away from the romantic side of things entirely, if you want to be fair to all involved.

seppep77

Thanks for your reply mike_ie . I dont think he does though, as he is very cool with me sometimes. We have not discussed "us" or our "hook-ups", or anything really! I am interested in more, but I just cant figure out where i stand! I feel hes not in to me, but then, I was surprised to hear he was annoyed over the other guy, I didnt expect that from him. A lot of the time it is me who initiated "dates", he might suggest it, but not follow through, until i arrange it. He does not like making decisions in general. But I really dont think hes looking for a "relationship". Iv let him know im interested, but he hasnt acted on this. I know its probably pointless and going nowhere, and I probably should walk away, but I am really interested! A glutton for punishment!

Tokyo

We can only help you based on the information you give here - at the end of the day you have to go with your own feelings on the situation. If you genuinely feel that he's not interested in anything further and his nose is out of joint just because he wants his cake and to eat it too, then go with that instinct before you go with anything said here - you're the one living the situation after all. Though if you are genuinely interested in more, then I think it's at least worth a conversation with him about it. Tell him that you are looking for more than a casual hook-up. If he wants the same, then great. If not, then you have your answer once and for all, and can move on from it....

strobe

Had a guy attempt to separate my head from my shoulders one night as I was talking to a girl, she told me afterwards that she'd only spoken to him for a couple of minutes prior to that. Some guys get quite possessive over women, and pissed about them taking a shine to other guys, quite easily. Doesn't mean they are head over heals for the girl, just an ego/insecurity thing I think.

Aside from him apparently getting pissy when you show interest in a guy is there anything to make you think he want's to be in a relationship with you?

Either way I'd go with Mike's advice. Just ask him outright if he's interested in anything more. Then you'll know.

Saralee4

So what do we know about him:

1) He doesn't take the relationship to the next level
2) He's a jealous person
3) He doesn't initiate most of the meetups and you have to chase him
4) He comes in and out of your life and contacts you after a few months of no contact

This guy has an ego problem or else doesn't care. Leave him to his own devices and if you do see him, do not 'hook up' with him again until he is willing to have a conversation about where you stand.

nc19

if you are interested in him theres a few things you can do;

1. stop kissing other people
2. tell him so he knows
3. if you 'hook up' with him on a night out dont talk to other guys in any way that would upset him. by that i mean if your bf was talking to a girl in a way that upset you dont do the same type of talking.

hes getting mixed msgs imo.
you hook up, he goes off to work and you kiss him mate. you hook up on a night out and you chat to another bloke.