Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Dealing with cancer diagnosis

  • 10-01-2015 8:53pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 654 ✭✭✭


    Hi all

    My dad has cancer and he is scheduled for surgery in a two weeks. It's stage one cancer and doctors are confident that he can recover and that the prognosis is good.

    I am terrified. In the last two years I have lost three friends to cancer and I am afraid all the time.

    I was just looking for advice as to how to stay confident and positive? It's the waiting around for the surgery is the worst as my mind keeps racing with the worst case scenario. Any advice would be welcome


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi Spud82,


    So sorry to hear about your news.
    I too have had a parent diagnosed a few years ago. It is a very tough time, we all deal with things differently. I am an only child and don't have a partner, so I dealt with it a lot by myself, I would literally go somewhere private and cry and cry!
    My friends were very good to me, I am the type of person who wouldn't open up to people anyway on a good day, but I would talk to my friends about the lighter side of how I was feeling. But there are counselling services available for relatives, I think so anyway, maybe with hindsight, I should have contacted them.

    On a practical level, if you need certain things done, lifts, time off work, ask for it from friends/work colleagues.
    Let your bosses know what you are dealing with at the moment. I got incredible support from mine.

    Just to let you know, as far I am a aware (open to correction on this) but I think grade one is the lowest level of cancer diagnosis, so the prognosis for your dad should be very good.

    You can help your Dad by assisting with the practical stuff, packing/getting stuff for the hospital stay the day your Dad is coming home after his op, maybe have a hot meal ready in the house, a fire lit, etc.

    Its a long road and it is very emotional and difficult
    Thinking of you and your Dad x


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,119 ✭✭✭Rubberchikken


    I'm so sorry.
    At the moment you must be terrified but always hope for the best.
    The doctors are confident and will do all they can for your dad.

    Try to talk with family and friends when you're worrying, don't keep it to yourself.
    Best of luck


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I would advise you to contact the Irish Cancer society on 1800 200 700.
    This number is staffed by cancer nurses so they can give you advice. They can also advise you on the services available in your own area.
    If you look up the website www.cancer.ie you get more information.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,575 ✭✭✭ZiabR


    Hi OP, I am sorry to read about your dad. I to have experience with this disease. A younger brother had a 3 year battle with it and a parent is still fighting it.

    I know how terrifying it is to hear that someone so close to you has cancer but the disease is not as damning as it has been in the past. Stage 1 cancer is the best of a bad bunch, it means it has been caught early so that is good news.

    Dont bottle any of your fears up, talk to your family and close friends, you need to take each stage your dad goes through one step at a time and be there for him.

    Best of luck!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 654 ✭✭✭spud82


    Thanks for replies. I think waiting around is driving me mad. The doctors don't think he'll need chemotherapy but won't know for sure until they open him up. It's really hard time I have cried thrown things across the room. I phoned the cancer society twice the nurses were great. I think I'll relax a bit after the operation at least thAn the cancer will have gone. It's just so scary waiting around and staying positive xxx thanks for replies xx


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24 miriam needs advice


    i am terribly sorry for what you and your family are going through OP. a diagnosis of cancer in my family would be my worst nightmare. however, it is looking very positive for your dad as it is only stage 1. its the best possible time to discover cancer and the doctors dont even think he will need chemotherapy which is an added good sign. keep your head and heart strong and you will get through this painful episode. i will keep your dad in my prayers.
    i would recommend keeping him on an extremely healthy diet until he has recovered. make healthy soups and juices in huge quantities and store them for him. loads of fruit and veg and ask him to cut down on dairy. the best of luck xx


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 47 KimmyKims


    Hi. I am sorry to hear about your father. Unfortunately this is an issue im used to as i was diagnosed with cancer two years ago when i was 26. Like your father, mine was caught at stage 1 which as someone mentioned above is really the best out of a bad situation.

    From my experience i found some people found it hard to be around me as they had no idea what to say to me. All i actually wanted was people to treat me normally. I didnt like to be fussed over, i just wanted to get on with things. It was how i coped with it all.

    Things can move quite fast. I had mri, pet scan , ct scan and an examination under anaesthetic in the space of a month. Not to mention oncology appointments too. It can be a lot to wrap the head around at times but i was grateful they werent taking any chances.

    I kept my strength up with a good diet while going through it all as its physically and emotionally draining. Especially after i had quite a big surgery.

    Best of luck through all of this. Two years later and im completely fine now and im sure your father will be the same. Take care


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 22,434 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    I think it is more important how your Dad is feeling. How is he dealing with the situation? You should be lead by him with the way you handle it.
    I hope your crying and throwing things is out of sight and earshot of your Dad. It is a difficult time in a persons life when they face mortality for the first time and the last thing they need is to be managing other peoples emotions.
    As Kimmykims says continue your relationship as normal with him. I would say don't push him to have the emotional heart to heart conversations as he may not want them. If you are close he knows he can rely on you or talk to you if he needs it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,382 ✭✭✭JillyQ


    Hi op I know exactly what you are goIng through, my dad was diagnosed with cancer a couple of months ago. It's an awful shock to get. While you need to be a support to your parents you also need to have your own support around you. You also need to respect the way your father wants this handled. I would also say try and @ least get 2 hrs a wesk as me time for you to do something that relaxes you as you won't be as helpful as you want to be if you are even more stressed.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,681 ✭✭✭✭P_1


    Been there before quite recently OP, lost some body tissue and have the scar from it now. First focus on the major positive, it appears to have been spotted early (if the docs are suggesting that surgery is all that's needed to do the job). Now surgery can be a tricky one but your Dad will be in good hands.

    Just treat your Dad as normal, don't tip toe around him or treat him like an invalid. Just be there for him. One thing you can do is some of the more practical things to help him deal with the post surgery. Boredom is going to be a major thing for him, does he read, have a particular favorite TV show etc? In that case perhaps source a few books/laptop/dvds etc for him.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 654 ✭✭✭spud82


    Hey all

    Sorry for delay in responding

    I don't live at home anymore so I went home to see dad for a few days. It was good to see him again and he is really positive.
    The operation is in a few days so I am looking forward to it being done and over with. I just hate the thought of cancer being in him and attacking him.

    I have downloaded around 30 books, and set up US netflix for him and giving him loads of movies. Ill be visiting him every day in hospital, and than Ill go home as much as I can as he recovers.

    Thanks so much for your kind words means a lot
    xx


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,382 ✭✭✭JillyQ


    Op i started on the same road as yourself last September, although my Dad didnt have surgery, he had radio therapy it is a difficult road but once his treatment starts there will be light at the end of the tunnel for you. As well as looking after your Parents you have to look after yourself as well.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 654 ✭✭✭spud82


    Hey all

    Just to let ye know dads operation was last week and he is great. The got all the cancer and he is recovering really well

    Thanks so much for all the good wishes and good vibes

    Spud xx


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,382 ✭✭✭JillyQ


    spud82 wrote: »
    Hey all

    Just to let ye know dads operation was last week and he is great. The got all the cancer and he is recovering really well

    Thanks so much for all the good wishes and good vibes

    Spud xx


    Thats great news onwards and upwards now


Advertisement