Moved in with friend- problems

LegacyUser

I was living with others until recently and needed a change. A acquaintance/friend suggested that we take a lease and rent a house for a year. It seemed like a good idea and suited both our purposes. We agreed to find a 3rd person to live with us too. So we signed the lease and paid a deposit each.

Let's say by the time we had moved in properly (Nov), maybe 2 weeks had passed. My friend said if we could wait til December to find the 3rd person cos of the move and stress etc. So I said "ok", I didnt mind paying extra rent for only 1 month. So then December rolls around and I bring up the subject again- friend says work is crazy and Christmas is coming, sure how can we advertise room cos no one will be here to show the room to people since it will be Christmas. I'm freaked at this point, so I say- We HAVE to find someone in January. And perhaps a 4th person in March (there is small 4th bedroom) to recover the extra rent we paid in November and December. My friend agreed- said that's a great idea.

So fast forward to this week- my friend was avoiding me. I said we need to put ad up today to advertise the room. My friend says- "but you said we will wait until March?!" So i said- "no, that's not what I said at all." Friend then had a little meltdown, calling me a liar etc. and stormed out saying- "do whatever you want and stormed out".

Can people give me advice because I feel like this is a horrible situation. Yes I paid a deposit and signed a lease, so I will reread that tomorrow. Any advice on the personal side of it? I also know why my friend doesnt want anyone to move in- they are basically 'playing house', thinking they own the house and loving the freedom. I just want out at this stage but don't want to get a bad name either, would prefer to bow out gracefully. I need advice

Tokyo

Hi OP,

the problem here, as I'm sure you are aware, is that it isn't just a simple case of walking away from the friend - you've both effectively signed a legal document stating that you will live together for the next year, so that does complicate matters somewhat, and as such it may be worth exploring the option of reconciling this a little more, before walking away completely. Your friend is taking the proverbial **** for sure, but you were friends up until a couple of months ago.

I'd recommend that you sit down with your housemate and talk about this - it doesn't have to be confrontational, but just state the facts, that the agreement from the beginning was to bring a third person into the apartment (I'm assuming that the landlord has okay'd this of course), that you've already covered the last couple of months extra rent, and that you simply can't afford to split the rent and bills between just the two of you any longer. And if your friend has changed their minds on this, then you will have no choice but to move out so that they can find somebody. And the ball is then in their court.

If however you can't reconcile things, the only real solution is to move out, and this may come at a cost in terms of deposit, or indeed the apartment itself, and you will probably get better advice on the practical aspects of this in the Accommodation & Property forum. A lot will depend on the lease you have signed, and the good will of your landlord - he may be willing to accept a breach of the lease if you can find someone else to move in that he approves of, for example...

Mick Murdock

Friend sounds childish.. Have they lived with strangers before?

Betty Bloggs

Can you not just put the ad up yourself? Tell your friend you're doing it and explain why to your friend (ie - this is what you both agreed to from the start) and that you can't afford this situation.

If your friend is that unhappy that she wants to leave then let them move out and break their own lease if they wish to, their own choice really.

You don't seem to mind sharing so if that happened then you could advertise 2 to 3 rooms for rent.

Stavro Mueller

I think I'd go down Betty Blogg's route as well. Write up the ad and tell your friend you're placing it. It's going to be harder for them to stop you. And if they try to halt things, tell them that because you'd only agreed to pay the extra rent til December, you can't afford to pay extra any longer. From now on you'll only be paying a third and don't have the money to fork out for more. Offer your friend the choice of paying for the empty third room if that's what they'd prefer.

I think your friendship with this person is over either way. I think they've been trying to pull a fast one.

LegacyUser

Betty Bloggs wrote: »

If your friend is that unhappy that she wants to leave then let them move out and break their own lease if they wish to, their own choice really.

It sounds like the OP and friend signed the one lease so it's not as easy as the friend just breaking 'her' lease. If she wants to break the lease then the OP would have to move out as well. Then can speak to the Landlord about signing a new lease and finding other people but not sure how happy the Landlord would be about dealing with all the drama. If they have separate leases then it's up to the Landlord to rent the other rooms but given how the OP has worded their post I would assume it's one lease. If I was the OP I'd tell the hosuemate I was advertising the room and if she wasn't happy with that then they would need to pay the extra rent.

Related to that OP was the landlord aware when you moved in that you planned to sublet?

Est28

Sorry this will be in hindsight but I've found moving in with friends always puts a strain on the relationship. Someone you can have a great time with over a pint or doing stuff, can turn into a nightmare living with them.

You're used to being a certain way around each other and then when you are together 24/7, unless you somehow have the EXACT same home routines, etc it becomes a strain. People are more likely to be more casual with friends, especially when its something like "Oh, I'll owe you that money when I'm paid next week" or "Era, I'll clean that up later", where they wouldn't take such liberties with someone they didn't feel they knew so well....

The second thing is... I don't really understand how the lease works. Usually if you rent a place then there would be an agreement with the landlord or agent as to who and how many people lived there. So if you rented it as 2 people, then that's what you signed up for unfortunately. Maybe you have some situation worked out where you can sublet other rooms as you want but I haven't heard many landlords who would let the tenants handle this. Infact, it would be the landlords problem to find another tennant if they wanted to lease to 3 people.

Sounds very odd. I get the feeling your friend knew the deal but you were a bit naive about it?

harrymagina

You both signed the lease? Then stick the add up on daft yourself with your own contact number and inform the friend that's its up on daft. Ask her if she's okay with this after you have put it up and have a chat to her about it and inform her you might have to move out as rent is very expensive with just two.

I can see why your friend doesnt want strangers as I would not want to live with strangers either but she should have been honest at the start so feck her is my advice.

bjork

Stick an ad on daft. Arrange the viewing yourself.

Big Cheese

Is it at all possible that your friend has feelings for you? And wants to just rent with you alone? Otherwise, place the ad yourself and try get someone else in. Not fair to be paying more rent than you had planned. Hope it works out, just can't figure out their actions.

Tigger99

That occurred to me too Big Cheese. Any chance they have feelings for you OP?