Really need some advice

Lumina_23

Hi all,

I would really appreciate some advice on this. Ok so myself and my boyfriend were only together for about 2 months when he told me that he would be going to a concert with his ex girlfriend who he was in a relationship with for three years. (They had bought the tickets while they were still together). I was really upset about this and asked if he would consider not going to the concert for the sake of our relationship but he refused. So i broke up with him. A few days later I went out to my ex boyfriend (the guy i was with before current boyfriend) and ended up kissing him which i instantly regretted. I suppose my reason for kissing my ex is because i was hurting so much which i know isn't an excuse. A few days after kissing my ex, my boyfriend and I met up to talk and he reluctantly said he would not go to the concert with his ex girlfriend so i decided to give him another chance and we got back together.

This all happened about 6 months ago and since then our relationship has been really good. We fell in love and everything got a lot better. The thing is though he doesn't know that I kissed my ex when i broke up with him for those few days (we were broken up for only about a week) and I feel really guilty. My question is though should i feel guilty? And should i tell him about what happened? I don't think he would forgive me as he would view what i did as cheating. I am now pregnant so there is a lot more at stake than just our relationship. I really don't want to lose my boyfriend but at the same time i don't want to feel this constant guilt anymore. What should i do?

Ave Sodalis

Forget it. It was once, it was in the past, and you were single at the time. Put it behind you and move on. Telling your boyfriend is unnecessary and will only end up putting strain on the relationship that doesn't need to be there.

Stavro Mueller

Personally I think you shouldn't say anything. What good would it do? Apart from the initial euphoria/relief at getting it off your chest, it'd cause nothing but unhappiness for you both. Seeing as you've now got a child on the way, is it worth the risk of denying he/she a stable home with two happy parents just because you have the urge to get this off your chest? Both of you may have been somewhat wrong (him to go to a concert with his ex, you to kiss your ex) but it sounds like things have improved since then.

Saipanne

You don't need to tell him.


By the way, I hope that's not your real name and age? What if he or a friend saw this?

LegacyUser

Forget about it.

You broke up with him at the time for what on the surface of it seems like a very valid reason. Whilst you where single you then kissed someone else and instantly regretted it.

Learn to forgive yourself more. Especially for meaningless things like this.

Lumina_23

Sup_dude I would love to be able to just put it in the past but I am a very honest person and have a very strong conscience which is why I am feeling so much guilt. I hope that time will help to lessen the guilt i am feeling. Stavro i think you are right I wouldn't see it doing any good apart from initially relieving my guilty conscience. And you're right its not worth the risk of denying our child a stable home with two happy parents. In a way i see that telling him would actually be a selfish act on my part but just wish there was another way to get rid of the guilt. Thanks a million everyone for your adice

Lumina_23

Saipanne thanks for your reply. This is not my real name or age. I've actually been trying to change my username anyway but can't figure out how to?! lol

Lumina_23

Sup_dude I would love to be able to just put it in the past but I am a very honest person and have a very strong conscience which is why I am feeling so much guilt. I hope that time will help to lessen the guilt i am feeling. Stavro i think you are right I wouldn't see it doing any good apart from initially relieving my guilty conscience. And you're right its not worth the risk of denying our child a stable home with two happy parents. In a way i see that telling him would actually be a selfish act on my part but just wish there was another way to get rid of the guilt. Thanks a million everyone for your advice

Lumina_23

Lol i know what you mean, it can be so hard to bite your tongue sometimes. You did the right thing by not losing the head at your Dad.

Ye i understand what you're saying, we were both in the wrong and kissing my ex was my way of getting back at him at the time. And ye maybe kissing my ex did close the door on that relationship because i felt horrible after it and there were no feelings there on my part. I like your way of looking at things and really appreciate all of your advice. You have made me feel a million times better

I just subscribed to boards but still can't figure out how to change the username that appears on my profile and my posts??!

Stavro Mueller

Sorry. I zapped my last post because I decided most of it wasn't really that relevant once I'd looked at it again. Hope it's not confusing you

Anyway, to change your username you need to subscribe to boards and then go to the Helpdesk I think http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=82 I can't find it just now - perhaps it's only visible to subscribers and I'm not one at the moment.