A Question for Early to mid 20's Women

PurvesGrundy

I am an early twenties man posting in the ladies lounge, as I did not know anywhere else outside of 'Relationship Issues' to ask my question (If a mod feels that this thread is better off there then by all means feel free to move it). Basically, as someone who finds the Irish dating scene regularly complicated and difficult to understand, what I'm wondering essentially is how to approach the following scenario and also for insight on how do young women of these days like to be asked out or progressed towards in situations where chemistry is involved.

At present, I find myself in a situation where I perceive there to be a mutual attraction with a girl who I have known for about two months, but am anxious and do not have knowledge on how to take it further. I am afraid of working up the courage to ask her out on a date and what I might suggest to her will be off-putting and therefore ruin my chances. If I was to suggest going for dinner for instance, I am worried how she would react or if she would become overwhelmed at the manner in which I may approach the question and therefore automatically say 'no'.

Now I am just wondering to myself if I leave it too long that she will lose interest in me completely. I simply can not decide a time when I should make the leap or not. This has been my position for the past few weeks and I just did not know who to talk to or where to seek advice, so I thought no better people to ask than women themselves. I would appreciate suggestions or tips from anyone, including demographic outside of my above title.

Thanks.

Faith

"hey, would you like to get coffee or a drink with me some time?"

It's less pressure than dinner, and both options are completely non-threatening and allow for the date to be brief if it's not going well, or to last for hours if you're both enjoying it.

herisson

Ask her for a coffee or drink.

If it was me I'd be more inclined to go for a coffee or drink over dinner.

Lucyfur

MOD

Hi OP,

This is better suited to RI, I think. Their charter now applies.

All the best,

Lucy

missjm

Just ask her if she'd like to grab a coffee/lunch. Hold off on dinner for now. It's quite likely she's waiting for you to ask so just go for it!

LegacyUser

Stop over thinking it.

Irish girls are no different then any other. Just casually ask her would she like to grab a coffee at the weekend, or maybe involve something you are both interested in (comedy show, gig).

As other posters have suggested I would steer clear of asking her out for dinner. I would generally only do that if I was 100% sure of mutual attraction and knew there was going to be plenty to talk about.

You are more likely to get a yes to a coffee/drink date as there is no pressure, its informal and it can be cut short if its going south for whatever reason.

desbrook

If you don't ask the answer will always be no. That's worth reading over and over again.

As for dinner - it might be a little too formal for a first date. Try the old " a friends of mine was in that new pub XYZ and says it was really good. Do you fancygrabbing a few drinks there on friday night? "

PurvesGrundy

OK, everybody. Thanks for the responses, all much appreciated. Just to hear even one person's opinion makes a big difference.

Sorry about posting in the wrong area, OP.

PurvesGrundy

OK, everybody. Thanks for the responses, all much appreciated. Just to hear even one person's opinion makes a big difference and it confirms what I thought myself. Something casual is best to begin with.

Apologies again about posting in the wrong area, Lucyfer.

honey79

Faith wrote: »

"hey, would you like to get coffee or a drink with me some time?"

It's less pressure than dinner, and both options are completely non-threatening and allow for the date to be brief if it's not going well, or to last for hours if you're both enjoying it.

This is good advice OP

Good Luck and Enjoy